![\"Young](\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/12\/spontaneous-sex-why-you-should-try-it1.jpg\" "\\"Spontaneous")
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After a few years of being together or being married, let’s face it, sex hasn’t been that exciting. It may seem to be an obligation, a routine even, and sometimes, <\/span>we just miss that hot, spontaneous sex that we used to have.<\/b><\/p>\n Is it because we’re too busy? Or maybe everything has become too familiar? Oh, don’t forget the kids.<\/span><\/p>\n Do you wish to feel like a rebellious teenager again? Then, if so, <\/span>you need to know how impromptu sex is done and why you should try it!<\/b><\/p>\n First, let’s dispel a myth.<\/span> No, no one has sex like they do in Hollywood films. <\/b>Perhaps you remember your sex being off the cuff, hot and steamy when you were in your 20s. <\/span><\/p>\n The chances are that you primed your brain in preparation without realizing it<\/b>. When we get ready for a date, maybe with some music and a drink, we’re getting ourselves ready for possibilities. <\/span><\/p>\n Assuming both people are excited about the date, they’re then both willing and ready. <\/span>They build up anticipation and emotions in preparation that naturally lead to flirting and then sex.<\/b><\/p>\n In fact, as this<\/span> study on the myth of sexual spontaneity<\/span><\/a> shows, <\/span>we are programmed by society to follow a script.<\/b> You’ll see from the diagram on page 5 in the study that we expect to meet someone, we flirt into some foreplay and then we have amazing sex. <\/span><\/p>\n Sadly, this sets most of us up for disappointment.<\/b> Don’t despair though because the study continues to show that <\/span>communication is at the heart of great sex. In essence, it doesn’t matter if it’s scheduled, routine or impulsive. <\/b><\/p>\n And spontaneous rarely actually happens.<\/span><\/p>\n If you don’t know each other’s needs and desires, you will never have the amazing sex the media rave about. <\/b><\/p>\n Having said that, once you have communication, you can have spontaneous sex in marriage. <\/span><\/p>\n Of course you have to be creative and do some planning but you can spice things up. <\/span>Nevertheless, you can make things feel spontaneous and exciting with a little bit of structure and preplanning. <\/b><\/p>\n Today, everyone is busy.<\/span><\/p>\n The reality is, we don’t even have time to do the things that we want, including sex. When was the last time that you had explosive sex?<\/span><\/p>\n That kind of sex doesn’t just happen. Instead, you need to make time, including giving yourself enough time to fully enjoy<\/span> foreplay<\/span><\/a>. <\/span><\/p>\n What happened to that fun, exciting way to have sex? This dilemma is a very common situation for couples, married or not.<\/span><\/p>\n They just find themselves in a routine of scheduled sex.<\/b> That’s it. No more spontaneous or scheduled sex that can satisfy one’s carnal desires.<\/span><\/p>\n This has got to stop! What if we told you there’s a way to spice up your sex life? You’re correct; <\/span>knowing how to be more spontaneous in bed, and creative, can make a huge difference. <\/b><\/p>\n Though, you might want to ask, why is it so good?<\/span><\/p>\n Spontaneous sex that’s built on deep communication and intimacy with creativity and fun is amazing because of the connection. Things are exciting also because you’re trying new things. You might even be breaking out into new locations and perhaps trying out new moves. <\/span><\/p>\n All of this allows you to enjoy sex more fully. You build your confidence because you talk about your inner desires with someone else. <\/span><\/p>\n Being vulnerable and yet supported by your partner is a wonderful experience. <\/b>As psychologist Karen Young explains in her article on<\/span> vulnerability in relationships<\/span><\/a>, it deepens your intimacy. <\/span><\/p>\n How to have spontaneous sex that creates such an experience requires you to let go, be curious and laugh at yourself at times. <\/b><\/p>\n Being impulsive and wild, so to speak, means letting go of anxiety and fear. <\/b>This can take time and patience which is again why you need mature communication with your partner. <\/span><\/p>\n So, support each other as you take baby steps in trying out new things. Don’t go so fast that you overwhelm each other. <\/span><\/p>\n As this<\/span> psychology study on having a happy sex life<\/span><\/a> states, the secret is hard work and effort. <\/span>Amazing sex doesn’t just happen but sexual growth and increased satisfaction can. <\/b><\/p>\n Use this list as the starting point for your journey for sexual growth. <\/span><\/p>\n Marking a calendar when you will have sex is more than just boring. Then again,<\/span> if you don’t make time for each other, chances are you’ll get lost in delivering your to-do list. <\/b><\/p>\n When you plan time together, don’t make it so clinical as a calendar appointment. Instead, leave sexy post-it notes around the house or seductive voicemails. <\/span><\/p>\n Many people are shy about <\/span>initiating sex<\/span><\/a> or they have performance issues. It’s easy to say let go of your inhibitions but if you don’t have your partner’s support, it will never happen. <\/span><\/p>\n Depending on your situation, you might want to talk to a therapist. Regardless, the aim is to get to know your fear so that you can let it go and move on.<\/span><\/p>\n Try reframing things and asking yourself what do you have to lose?<\/b> In summary, a loving partner will never judge you.<\/span><\/p>\n How to be more spontaneous sexually means not being a workaholic. And yet, so many of us are. <\/span><\/p>\n You can’t really enjoy yourself if your powerpoint slides are still flipping through in your head. <\/b>Why not remind yourself of the benefits of sex? <\/span><\/p>\n Finally, the workaholic in you will love the<\/span> physical and psychological benefits<\/span><\/a>. <\/span><\/p>\n This time, <\/span>combine flirting and appreciation<\/b>. It works wonders. It all starts with being comfortable with each other.<\/span><\/p>\n Send random texts, compliment them, smile, and look at your partner with loving eyes. Besides, if you have resentments or if you are making your <\/span>partner feel<\/span><\/a> that they aren’t important, do you think this will work?<\/span><\/p>\n One of the best,<\/span> fun spontaneous sex ideas<\/span><\/a> is to try a different place. You can even mix it up by including other sexy ideas such as talking dirty or using sex toys. <\/span><\/p>\n Whatever it is, be creative and have fun together. <\/b><\/p>\n How to have spontaneous sex needs communication but that doesn’t mean it’s always serious. <\/span><\/p>\n Be playful and send <\/b>sexy messages<\/b><\/a>. Perhaps share your favorite part from last time? Or that you want to try to go for round three? <\/span><\/p>\n How to be spontaneous sexually needs a bit of planning. The art is to get the right balance so that it feels off the cuff. <\/span><\/p>\n The more you prepare and prime your brain, the more likely you’ll have amazing sex.<\/b> Moreover, you need to make time for each other so you can connect emotionally both before and during sex. <\/span><\/p>\n Check this<\/span> quiz on emotional affairs<\/span><\/a> if you want to gauge how you feel towards your relationship. <\/span><\/p>\n How to be spontaneous in bed means being open about what’s really going on in your mind. <\/span><\/p>\n You can start with easy role play if you’re nervous.<\/b> Be that hot nurse or strict but sexy teacher or whatever else appeals to you. <\/span><\/p>\n Spontaneous sex ideas include simply turning up out of the blue, perhaps at their office. Again though, without communication, this could end up in disaster. <\/span><\/p>\n So, talk to each other about what kind of surprises you like<\/b>. This isn’t about taking the surprise out of the surprise. It’s about knowing what your partner will enjoy and then timing it just right. <\/span><\/p>\n How to be spontaneous sexually means thinking ahead.<\/b> For instance, a romantic hotel room doesn’t just magic itself out of thin air. <\/span><\/p>\n You can also cook together your favorite foods and even have food foreplay. If in doubt, there are numerous Hollywood films that can give you some clues. Just remember that they put in some planning to make sure it comes out just right. <\/span><\/p>\n If you’re clinging onto the dream of spontaneous sex like in the movies, your first challenge is to let that go. Human life isn’t meant to be perfect and easy. Clearly, that’s a hard truth to get used to.<\/span><\/p>\n Life is about balance. Yes, you need creative and fun sex but you must think ahead in order to have it. <\/b>You can still be impulsive and have amazing welcome-home sex, for example. Nevertheless, don’t time it after your partner has had a tough day.<\/span><\/p>\n You need to be aligned and communicative to have off-the-cuff sex. Whilst that might sound paradoxical, the key is how you approach it. So, don’t get out a clipboard with a to-do list of role plays to get through. <\/span><\/p>\n Instead, plan your date nights and get used to talking openly about sex and all the fun stuff that goes with it.<\/b> Boost each other’s confidence by daring to share your deepest desires. <\/span><\/p>\n Make a point of sending joyful and sedative messages at random times during the week.<\/span><\/p>\n You’ll then reap the <\/span>benefits of sex<\/span><\/a>. Your mental health will improve and you’ll look great from all that exercise. <\/span><\/p>\n There are many benefits of having sex from physical health to mental well-being.<\/b> When it comes to being spontaneous, some people will find that easier than others. <\/span><\/p>\n In the end, you want to trigger your desire and then fulfill it. Besides, the more you do this, the more your <\/span>sex life<\/span><\/a> will increase. <\/span><\/p>\n That includes scheduled sex time. Whilst it doesn’t sound sexy, with time, your brain starts anticipating sex<\/b>. Moreover, you’re now primed and in a better state of mind to encourage amazing sex. <\/span><\/p>\n So, <\/span>focus on your sexual growth<\/b> and enjoy some, if not all, of the following benefits. <\/span><\/p>\n Intimate sex, whether spontaneous or not, connects you deeply with another person. This boosts your confidence and overall self-esteem because you feel loved and valued. You matter in someone else’s life. <\/span><\/p>\n Spontaneous <\/span>sex ideas for couples<\/span><\/a> are all about getting a boost of our favorite happy hormones.<\/span> For instance, these include dopamine, oxytocin and even some endorphins. <\/b><\/p>\n After all, sex is a form of exercise even if it is inextricably linked with our emotional needs. Again though, all those happy hormones can only make a lasting difference to your mood if your relationship is built on trust and open communication. <\/span><\/p>\n How to be spontaneous in a relationship starts with communication. We can’t repeat it enough. Of course it isn’t easy because we have to let go of our issues. <\/span><\/p>\n Sometimes that means healing our attachment issues with a therapist. Other childhood traumas could also be sneaking into your relationship to destroy communication. <\/b><\/p>\n Listen to therapist Katie Hood talk about healthy and <\/span>unhealthy relationships<\/span><\/a> if you want to discover more. Most importantly, she reminds us that we can never be perfect but we continue to work together.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/span>What is spontaneous sex?<\/b><\/span><\/h2>\n
<\/span>Why you should have spontaneous sex?<\/b><\/span><\/h2>\n
<\/span>10 ways to have spontaneous sex<\/b><\/span><\/h2>\n
1. Drop the schedule<\/b><\/h3>\n
2. Let go of your inhibitions<\/b><\/h3>\n
3. Walk away from overworking<\/b><\/h3>\n
4. Reconnect with your flirtatious side<\/b> <\/span><\/h3>\n
5. Be creative with your location <\/b><\/h3>\n
6. Explore suggestive texting <\/b><\/h3>\n
7. Plan a sexy date night (role play u<\/b>nderwear etc <\/span><\/h3>\n
8. Share your fantasies <\/b><\/h3>\n
Related Reading:-<\/i><\/b> 25 Most Common Sexual Fantasies<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/pre>\n
9. Work on your surprises <\/b><\/h3>\n
Related Reading:-<\/i><\/b> 10 Ways to Thrill and Surprise Your Special Someone<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/pre>\n
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<\/h2>\n10. Schedule your sex time <\/b><\/h3>\n
Related Reading:-<\/i><\/b> Why Sex Scheduling Is Not a Dirty Word<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/pre>\n
<\/span>How in the ‘spur-of-the-moment’ is your sex life? <\/b><\/span><\/h2>\n
<\/span>15 reasons to have spontaneous sex<\/b><\/span><\/h2>\n
1. Boost your self-esteem<\/b><\/h3>\n
Related Reading:-<\/i><\/b> 10 Ways On How Low Self Esteem Affects a Relationship<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/pre>\n
2. Trigger your happy hormones <\/b><\/h3>\n
3. It drives open communication <\/b><\/h3>\n