{"id":43835,"date":"2019-12-11T06:34:40","date_gmt":"2019-12-11T06:34:40","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/?p=43835"},"modified":"2026-03-17T11:24:21","modified_gmt":"2026-03-17T11:24:21","slug":"ways-to-connect-again-with-your-spouse","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/ways-to-connect-again-with-your-spouse\/","title":{"rendered":"5 Ways to Connect Again With Your Spouse"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-43837 size-full\" title=\"Ways to Connect Again With Your Spouse\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/12\/Ways-to-Connect-Again-With-Your-Spouse.jpg\" alt=\"Ways to Connect Again With Your Spouse\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It doesn&rsquo;t happen overnight. It&rsquo;s more like a long, slow process, so subtle that you may not even realize it is happening. But one day, you wake up, and it is there: you are <\/span><b>feeling disconnected in your relationship.<\/b><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">There comes a time in every marriage where the strong link you felt to your spouse seems lessened, or even non-existent. How does this happen? And, more importantly, what are some <a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/how-to-reconnect-with-your-spouse\/\">ways to connect again with your spouse<\/a>?<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"How-does-emotional-detachment-manifest\"><\/span><strong>How does emotional detachment manifest?<\/strong><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Feeling distance in a relationship is typical. It is often situational: your job is taking up a lot of your time and focus, or the children put demands on your emotional reserves so that there is little left for your partner.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"YouTube video player\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/gaP9ML4ueR0?si=myuV_Gc7Dkead8WA\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><span data-mce-type=\"bookmark\" style=\"display: inline-block; width: 0px; overflow: hidden; line-height: 0;\" class=\"mce_SELRES_start\">&#65279;<\/span><\/iframe><\/p>\n<div class=\"subscribeYT_highlight\"><div class=\"subscribe_channel\">\r\n            <div class=\"subscribe_text\">Join millions <span class=\"sub_text1\">building healthier, happier<\/span> <span class=\"sub_text2\"> relationships.<\/span><\/div>\r\n            <a class=\"subscribe-btn-in-content\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/@Marriagedotcom?sub_confirmation=1\" target=\"_blank\">\r\n            <img src=\"\/images\/youtube_icon_small.png\" class=\"icon-left\" alt=\"YouTube\">\r\n            <span>Subscribe<\/span>\r\n            <img src=\"\/images\/bell_icon_new.svg\" class=\"icon-right\" alt=\"Extra Icon\">\r\n            <\/a>\r\n        <\/div><\/div>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">All marriages will experience an ebb and flow to the feeling of connectivity each spouse feels towards the other, with moments of feeling an extreme connection to moments where you feel a lack of emotional connection in the relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It is essential to keep track of an emotional disconnection in marriage because you do not want the feeling of being disconnected from your spouse to deepen and take root. Take action before that happens, and it will be easier to<\/span> <a href=\"https:\/\/www.gottman.com\/blog\/3-steps-reconnect-feel-disconnected-partner\/\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><b>reconnect with your husband.<\/b><\/a><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"How-to-reconnect-with-your-spouse\"><\/span><strong>How to reconnect with your spouse<\/strong><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-43545 size-full\" title=\"How to reconnect with your spouse\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/Help-them-to-accept-the-change-and-enjoy-life.jpg\" alt=\"How to reconnect with your spouse\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Forget the grand gestures of what media shows us: love is not about expensive gifts and weekly bouquets of red roses. Long term couples know that a true, lasting love connection is built on small but frequent moments of genuine affection.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">These intimate, daily moments are essential to creating (and rebuilding) the emotional connection upon which all happy and healthy relationships thrive.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><strong>Small&nbsp;ways to connect again with a spouse that make the most impact<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Have you forgotten all the little things you used to do early in your marriage to connect with your husband? Let&rsquo;s look at some of these:<\/span><\/p>\n<h3>1. Being present for their emotional needs<\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What does this mean? It means when your partner comes to you with a problem, you tune in to him, and you listen. You give him your full attention.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You don&rsquo;t check your phone while saying, &ldquo;Uh-hum. Right. Go on.&rdquo; You turn your body towards him to show you are invested in what he is saying. He feels heard. And this provokes a <a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/emotional-intimacy\/how-important-is-an-emotional-connection-in-a-relationship\/\">feeling of emotional connection<\/a>. Which promotes and enhances your loving relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3>2. Communicating respectfully<\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Reconnecting with your spouse requires <a href=\"https:\/\/www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov\/pmc\/articles\/PMC4852543\/\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\">respectful communication<\/a>. Perhaps over the years of your marriage, you&rsquo;ve accumulated some anger over something your partner neglects to do, continually.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Maybe each week, you have to remind him to take the recycling to the curb. You are so over asking him to do this each week, so your request comes out, &ldquo;Could you for once remember to take out the recycling?&rdquo;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">A request framed this way can result in deepening resentment and disconnection between you. But making requests respectfully will reward you two ways: it is more likely to get your husband to grant the request without conflict or anger, and you will be helping build an emotional connection.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><strong>Some other&nbsp;ways to connect again with a spouse<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It is normal in a <a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/5-traits-of-a-long-lasting-marriage\/\">long term marriage<\/a> to forget to acknowledge and thank our partner for the daily things they do to keep things running smoothly in the relationship. So how about paying attention to the &ldquo;thank yous&rdquo; and the compliments?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">These are warm ways to reconnect with your spouse. &ldquo;Thanks so much for unloading this dishwasher this morning,&rdquo; makes you both feel good. &ldquo;I love how you help out with the kids&rsquo; homework,&rdquo; shows your husband you acknowledge his contribution to the child-rearing and encourages him to continue.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">These are small things that cost nothing, but go a long way in strengthening the emotional connection with a man.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3>3. More physical touch<\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Hugs, kisses, a hand on the lower back, a shoulder massage. Physical contact goes a long way in <a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/build-an-emotional-connection-with-a-woman\/\" target=\"_blank\">enhancing your emotional connection<\/a>.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3>4. Prioritize your marriage<\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Put, you want to prioritize your marriage above all else. This does not mean that you are not <a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/parenting\/seven-strategies-for-successful-parenting\/\">paying attention to the children<\/a>.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It means that your loving connection, both physical and emotional, is the bedrock upon which your happy family is built. So take time for date nights, seduction, and sex. These will keep your emotional connection strong and vibrant<\/span><\/p>\n<h3>5. Unplug<\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">We are all so <a href=\"https:\/\/www.nytimes.com\/2016\/10\/30\/style\/smartphones-iphone-marriage-husbands-wives-technology.html\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\">addicted to our smartphones<\/a>, our Netflix, our podcasts. This impacts our face to face communication with our partner. When you get home in the evening, unplug. Without our screens, we can be more present with each other.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"I%E2%80%99m-feeling-disconnected-from-my-husband-Should-I-be-worried\"><\/span><strong>I&rsquo;m feeling disconnected from my husband. Should I be worried?<\/strong><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you are going through one of those moments where you sense that the emotional connection in your marriage is missing, you might begin by asking yourself some questions:<\/span><\/p>\n<ol><li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Is there something going on at work that is taking up my emotional bandwidth?<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Am I having trouble balancing the demands of my children with the needs of my husband?<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Am I angry with my husband, and if so, what are the reasons?<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">How long has this feeling of being disconnected from my spouse been going on?<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Now that you have asked yourself some questions, it would be beneficial to sit down with your spouse and ask how they are feeling. Are they, too, feeling disconnected in the relationship? Dedicate some time to this conversation; find a calm moment where neither of you is distracted.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Set the stage for an honest discussion about your marriage. Book a babysitter and go out. Often just taking time to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/communication\/healthy-communication-for-couples\/\">speak from the heart<\/a> with each other is enough to<\/span><b> start reconnecting with your husband.<\/b><\/p>\n","protected":false,"raw":""},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>It doesn&rsquo;t happen overnight. It&rsquo;s more like a long, slow process, so subtle that you may not even realize it is happening. But one day, you wake up, and it is there: you are feeling disconnected in your relationship. There comes a time in every marriage where the strong link you felt to your spouse seems lessened, or even non-existent. How does this happen? And, more importantly, what are some ways to connect again with your spouse? How does emotional detachment manifest? Feeling distance in a relationship is typical. It is often situational: your job is taking up a lot <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":675,"featured_media":43837,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[11],"tags":[2513],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/43835"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/675"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=43835"}],"version-history":[{"count":17,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/43835\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":110624,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/43835\/revisions\/110624"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/43837"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=43835"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=43835"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=43835"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}