

{"id":42721,"date":"2019-10-14T06:50:14","date_gmt":"2019-10-14T06:50:14","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/?p=42721"},"modified":"2024-06-17T12:49:57","modified_gmt":"2024-06-17T12:49:57","slug":"do-marriage-counselors-ever-suggest-getting-a-divorce","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/divorce\/do-marriage-counselors-ever-suggest-getting-a-divorce\/","title":{"rendered":"Do Marriage Counselors Ever Suggest Getting a Divorce?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-42723 size-full\" title=\"Do Marriage Counselors Ever Suggest Getting a Divorce?\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/10\/Do-Marriage-Counselors-Ever-Suggest-Divorce.jpg\" alt=\"Do Marriage Counselors Ever Suggest Getting a Divorce?\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Many married people who plan on seeing a counselor wonder: <\/span><b>&ldquo;Do marriage counselors ever suggest divorce?&rdquo;<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> Some are anxious over what they might be faced with when they go and see a counselor.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Will (s)he try and mend their relationship? Will the counseling provoke an argument, or give us relief from constant bickering? Will a marriage counselor suggest divorce? And what to do about it if they do?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Will it make things worse at home? Or will the liberation finally come? Read on to learn what you should and shouldn&rsquo;t expect from marriage counseling.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Do-marriage-counselors-ever-suggest-divorce\"><\/span>Do marriage counselors ever suggest divorce?<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The short answer is &ndash; no. Unless there&rsquo;s abuse, and then only in one-on-one sessions with the victim. Counselors, in general, avoid giving any sort of advice.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The reason? The psychotherapist shouldn&rsquo;t serve as judges, even when it would be welcomed. Psychology is founded in affirm the belief that a person is and should be in power of their own lives and decisions.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">So, even in cases when it&rsquo;s more than obvious that a&nbsp;<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/counseling\/seek-marriage-therapy-and-couple-counseling\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">couple has hit a hard wall<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, the counselor won&rsquo;t really suggest divorce.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Do marriage counselors ever suggest divorce &ndash; the long answer. Even though you won&rsquo;t hear your counselor explicitly say: &ldquo;You should get a divorce&rdquo;, you could expect them to facilitate such a decision in some cases.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"What-does-a-marriage-counselor-do\"><\/span>What does a marriage counselor do?<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The counselor will ask the right questions. They will assist the couple in exploring the strengths and weaknesses of the relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">These questions will, ideally, lead you to reach important decisions about the future of your relationship.<\/span><b> Is marriage counseling helpful?<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> If done right, it is, regardless of the nature of your decisions.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In other words, as a result of the counselor&rsquo;s efforts, you and your spouse should emerge as stronger, more decisive, and more aware people.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">We&rsquo;ll talk about different options for marriage counseling and what they focus on, but, in short &ndash; marriage counseling is aimed at the relationship, but, in any case, the individuals involved in it learn and grow.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Will-marriage-counseling-save-my-marriage\"><\/span>Will marriage counseling save my marriage?<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-45378 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/10\/Will-marriage-counseling-save-my-marriage.jpg\" alt=\"Couple ignoring each other \" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Remember our initial question &ndash; Do marriage counselors ever suggest divorce? &ndash; and the response to it? The same principle applies to the question often asked by couples in therapy.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">&ldquo;Does marriage counseling actually work?&rdquo; You&rsquo;re (your spouse and yourself) the one who needs to put in the effort, and you&rsquo;re the one who is responsible for the survival or end of your relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>The success rate of marriage counseling <\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">is a tricky question, as there&rsquo;s no single measure of its success. Does it mean&nbsp;<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/counseling\/need-marriage-counseling\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">saving the marriage<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">? Or a successful separation of a dysfunctional relationship?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The&nbsp;<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/guidedoc.com\/does-marriage-counseling-work-statistics-facts\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">statistics<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, in general, suggest that marriage counseling is highly beneficial. the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists reports that 97% of clients say that they got the kind of help that they needed.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">According to <\/span><a class=\"editor-rtfLink\" href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/experts\/grady-shumway\" target=\"_blank\"><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">Grady Shumway<\/span><\/a><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">, a licensed mental health counselor:<\/span><\/p>\n<blockquote><p><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">Marriage counseling can indeed be a valuable tool for couples facing challenges in their relationship. However, its effectiveness ultimately depends on the willingness of both partners to actively participate and make necessary changes.<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">So, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.huffpost.com\/entry\/marriage-counseling-does_b_4655577\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\">does couples counseling help<\/a>? In one way or the other, it does.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Marriage-counseling-before-divorce\"><\/span>Marriage counseling before divorce<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Some people think that getting<\/span><b> marriage counseling when you want a divorce <\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">is a bit redundant. Marriage counseling and divorce sound like two opposite things.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">But, as you learned from this article, it really isn&rsquo;t so. Do marriage counselors ever suggest divorce? No. But do they help you articulate your intention to get one? Yes.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">There truly are such relationships that are already doomed. In most cases, the couple also knows this, at least in the back of their minds.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The counselor&rsquo;s work here is to help the couple come to peace with their gut feeling. Unfortunately, the majority of clients in marriage counseling have already come to their relationship&rsquo;s dead end.&nbsp; <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">At that point, they need to learn to<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/divorce\/healing-through-divorce\/\"> <span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">cope with that fact in a healthy way<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><strong>Also watch:<\/strong> 7 Most Common Reasons for Divorce<\/span><\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/GDijrLvw6D0\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Marriage-counseling-during-divorce\"><\/span>Marriage counseling during divorce<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Sometimes, marriage counseling is more of a divorce therapy. In other words, the couple shows up at the counselor&rsquo;s office determined to get a divorce. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Such a situation is, in a way, a good one. As there&rsquo;s no more decision-making to do, the couple can focus on getting through the difficult period ahead in a good way.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In such instances, the counselor will apply <\/span><b>divorce therapy techniques<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> to prepare the couple for different hurdles and unpleasantries ahead. Because getting married was a big decision that came with numerous challenges.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">However, <a href=\"https:\/\/wol.iza.org\/articles\/should-divorce-be-easier-or-harder\/long\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\">getting a divorce isn&rsquo;t any easier<\/a>. The soon-to-be-ex needs to learn how to communicate and interact in a new setting.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>As Grady Shumway quotes:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>In situations where divorce seems inevitable, marriage counselors can provide valuable support and guidance to help couples navigate the process with grace and resilience.<\/p>\n<p>While the end of a marriage is never easy, counseling can offer tools and strategies to facilitate effective communication and coping mechanisms for the challenges that lie ahead.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">So, do marriage counselors ever suggest divorce? No, but they will definitely guide you through it in the most adaptive and healthy way!<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false,"raw":""},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Many married people who plan on seeing a counselor wonder: &ldquo;Do marriage counselors ever suggest divorce?&rdquo; Some are anxious over what they might be faced with when they go and see a counselor. Will (s)he try and mend their relationship? Will the counseling provoke an argument, or give us relief from constant bickering? Will a marriage counselor suggest divorce? And what to do about it if they do? Will it make things worse at home? Or will the liberation finally come? Read on to learn what you should and shouldn&rsquo;t expect from marriage counseling. Do marriage counselors ever suggest divorce? <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":675,"featured_media":42723,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[15],"tags":[2670],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/42721"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/675"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=42721"}],"version-history":[{"count":9,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/42721\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":102304,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/42721\/revisions\/102304"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/42723"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=42721"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=42721"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=42721"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}