{"id":41352,"date":"2019-08-14T10:12:59","date_gmt":"2019-08-14T10:12:59","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/?p=41352"},"modified":"2026-04-16T09:54:07","modified_gmt":"2026-04-16T09:54:07","slug":"emotionally-withdrawn-husband","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/emotionally-withdrawn-husband\/","title":{"rendered":"Reasons Why You Have an Emotionally Withdrawn Husband"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-37217 size-full\" title=\"Reasons Why You Have an Emotionally Withdrawn Husband\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/How-Do-I-Deal-with-an-Unhappy-Husband.jpg\" alt=\"Reasons Why You Have an Emotionally Withdrawn Husband\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Disagreements and arguments in marriage are very common, as you stay longer in a relationship, you tend to get used to these disagreements and then they become less frequent. However, there are cases where you just realize that you&rsquo;re not really growing into the marriage and you might find yourself being married to an <\/span><b>emotionally withdrawn husband<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Getting that silent treatment or that feeling that your husband is physically present but is distant with you maybe one of the things that women just hate. Women, in general hate being given this treatment but what triggers a man to choose to be emotionally unavailable to his wife?<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Signs-that-your-husband-is-emotionally-withdrawn\"><\/span>Signs that your husband is emotionally withdrawn<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"YouTube video player\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/-aSD3o_gPyk?si=bgGQLO75--qqWgBP\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><span data-mce-type=\"bookmark\" style=\"display: inline-block; width: 0px; overflow: hidden; line-height: 0;\" class=\"mce_SELRES_start\">&#65279;<\/span><\/iframe><\/p>\n<div class=\"subscribeYT_highlight\"><div class=\"subscribe_channel\">\r\n            <div class=\"subscribe_text\">Join millions <span class=\"sub_text1\">building healthier, happier<\/span> <span class=\"sub_text2\"> relationships.<\/span><\/div>\r\n            <a class=\"subscribe-btn-in-content\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/@Marriagedotcom?sub_confirmation=1\" target=\"_blank\">\r\n            <img src=\"\/images\/youtube_icon_small.png\" class=\"icon-left\" alt=\"YouTube\">\r\n            <span>Subscribe<\/span>\r\n            <img src=\"\/images\/bell_icon_new.svg\" class=\"icon-right\" alt=\"Extra Icon\">\r\n            <\/a>\r\n        <\/div><\/div>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Do you feel that you no longer have that strong <\/span><b>emotional connection with a man<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">? Do you feel that your husband has started being emotionally withdrawn not just to you but with your marriage as well?&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you do, then you might need to start analyzing what has caused his emotional withdrawal first and then work on how you can connect with your <\/span><b>emotionally withdrawn husband.<\/b><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">First things first, you have to remember that the person who knows your husband well is you and you know if you have married an overly emotional man or not. Let&rsquo;s start from here and let&rsquo;s see the signs<\/span><b> when a man shuts down emotionally<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.<\/span><\/p>\n<ul><li><b>Lack of emotional connection in relationship<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> or marriage will show in obvious decisions such as his plans for the weekend or his vacation.&nbsp;<\/span>If you see that he has already made some plans and that doesn&rsquo;t include you then it means he prefers to be alone. While we all need some time alone from our spouses, if it happens all the time, that means it&rsquo;s because of being<a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/emotional-intimacy\/causes-of-lack-of-emotional-intimacy\/\"> emotionally distant<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">He doesn&rsquo;t care. You&rsquo;re hurt and sad and you try to tell him but he shrugs it off like it&rsquo;s nothing.&nbsp;<\/span>You vent out and even cry but he continues to watch his ball game or play games on his phone. It&rsquo;s a very direct way of showing he that he doesn&rsquo;t care.<\/li>\n<\/ul><p>At this point, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/experts\/maggie-martinez\">Maggie Martinez<\/a>, LCSW, says<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>In cases like this, it is evident you have communicated your wants and needs and they are blatantly ignoring it.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<ul><li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">An <\/span><b>emotionally withdrawn husband<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> can cause <\/span><b>feeling inadequate in relationship<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> or your marriage. You may feel that all your efforts to fix the marriage doesn&rsquo;t work. You may see that your husband can commit verbally but doesn&rsquo;t really do anything to change your current situation.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Emotional withdrawal in relationships can take a toll in any marriage. When you feel that all he does is criticize or blames you for any inconvenience, when all he does is see your mistakes and makes you feel like a burden then know that your husband is already showing a sign that he is emotionally unavailable for you and your marriage.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">We all know that one of the most common<\/span><b> signs a man is emotionally connected to you<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> is when he reciprocates or initiates intimacy. Lack thereof means he&rsquo;s no longer invested in your relationship.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul><h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Reasons-why-men-choose-to-withdraw-emotionally\"><\/span>Reasons why men choose to withdraw emotionally<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">We may want to know now why this happens. Some of us might realize that it&rsquo;s partly our fault but some may also be clueless about what&rsquo;s happening.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Before we can assume that he&rsquo;s seeing someone else, we might need to first know the most common reasons why you have an <\/span><b>emotionally withdrawn husband<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> and what we can do to fix it.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"1-He%E2%80%99s-hurt\"><\/span>1. He&rsquo;s hurt<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">How aware are you of the <\/span><b>signs a man is hurt emotionally<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">? Or how about the different <\/span><b>emotional triggers for men<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> that can cause them to turn into an <\/span><b>emotionally withdrawn husband<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">?&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">We have to understand that it&rsquo;s not only us who will get hurt and sometimes <\/span><b>when a man is hurt emotionally<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, instead of yelling, crying, and venting their frustrations, they choose to get distant.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Did something happen between the two of you? Was there a death in the family? Was there anything that might have caused your husband to choose to get distant?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>Maggie Martinez adds,<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>Think back about recent conversations and if there was anything that was said that may be contributing to them pulling away.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-25058 size-full\" title=\"signs a man is hurt emotionally\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/06\/In-some-cases-some-people-might-consider-a-distant-marriage-to-be-an-unhappy-marriag.jpg\" alt=\"signs a man is hurt emotionally\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"2-He-loves-you\"><\/span>2. He loves you<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">We know. This may sound contradicting but look at it this way,<\/span><b> why men withdraw when they like you<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> or loves you is because they don&rsquo;t want the issue to become bigger or more complicated.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">For example, you&rsquo;re crying and you&rsquo;re angry and you see him emotionally distant or it may seem that he doesn&rsquo;t care. Analyze this first. Your husband may just want to give the issue some time and doesn&rsquo;t want to make it into a big deal.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Remember, men deal with hurt differently than we do so maybe he just wants the issue to end.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"3-He-doesn%E2%80%99t-know-what-to-do-anymore\"><\/span>3. He doesn&rsquo;t know what to do anymore<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Women want to talk about the problems and search for a solution. It can sure sound like a debate sometimes but it&rsquo;s a way to cope with stress and disagreements. How about men?&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>Why do guys shut down when stressed<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> and how to get him to open up emotionally with us? Men, when they feel that they can no longer do anything to solve the problem or they feel that it&rsquo;s too overwhelming and they know that they&rsquo;re not able to give a solution &ndash; they shut down.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">They just choose to get distant, relax, take time and just drift away. Sometimes, doing this can actually help problems but taking too much time being emotionally unavailable will cause more issue in the future.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>Maggie Martinez comments,<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>We know the more someone avoids, the worse the anxiety about the situation becomes.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Importance-of-emotional-intimacy-%E2%80%93-how-to-get-it-back\"><\/span>Importance of emotional intimacy &ndash; how to get it back<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Now that it&rsquo;s clearer what causes an <\/span><b>emotionally withdrawn husband<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, it&rsquo;s now time to know <\/span><b>how to emotionally connect with a man<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> and where we can start.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"1-Respect\"><\/span>1. Respect<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><b>What to do when a man withdraws <\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">from your relationship? At the first time that this happens, give him the<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/partner-says-i-need-space\/\"> <span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">space that he needs<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. Respect the time that your husband needs to think and analyze the situation.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">We all need space and sometimes, a man needs this space to recharge. However, if it happens constantly that is when you need to know what to do when a man withdraws from you more often than needed.&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"2-Listen\"><\/span>2. Listen<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The second step is communication and be sure that you know how to listen. We all have our own monsters to fight and as his spouse, it&rsquo;s your duty to know <\/span><b>what to do when someone shuts down emotionally<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">We just don&rsquo;t talk and talk about what he needs to do or what you should take etc. We need to listen. Your husband might have something to say too.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"3-Work-together\"><\/span>3. Work together<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">There is no perfect marriage so we have to know <\/span><b>how to stop being so emotional in a relationship<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. We&rsquo;re not here to seek attention and to be pacified. We&rsquo;re here to learn how to make our marriage work and shutting down emotionally is definitely not the solution.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Working with an <\/span><b>emotionally withdrawn husband<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> may become a challenge but as they say, the first few years of your marriage is the toughest.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">There&rsquo;s always something to learn, there&rsquo;s always something to discover but if you know how to hold on to the person you love, then you can find ways to reconnect with him again and achieve a stronger bond as husband and wife.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false,"raw":""},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Disagreements and arguments in marriage are very common, as you stay longer in a relationship, you tend to get used to these disagreements and then they become less frequent. However, there are cases where you just realize that you&rsquo;re not really growing into the marriage and you might find yourself being married to an emotionally withdrawn husband.&nbsp; Getting that silent treatment or that feeling that your husband is physically present but is distant with you maybe one of the things that women just hate. Women, in general hate being given this treatment but what triggers a man to choose to <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1419,"featured_media":37217,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[24],"tags":[2531],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/41352"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1419"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=41352"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/41352\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":119849,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/41352\/revisions\/119849"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/37217"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=41352"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=41352"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=41352"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}