![\"Bird](\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/Bird-Nesting-as-a-Child-Custody-Solution.jpg\" "\\"Bird")
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This is the second article in my Custody Arrangement Transition series.<\/span><\/p>\n “Birdnesting” is a custody transition approach that sparks a lot of interest for recently separated parents.<\/span><\/i><\/p><\/blockquote>\n This arrangement involves the parents remaining in the family home but living relatively separate lives with specific periods of responsibility for the kids using the original family residence as the primary custody base.<\/span><\/p>\n In many “Birdnesting” arrangements the parents continue to cohabit the family ho<\/b>m<\/strong>e<\/strong> but sleep in separate bedrooms.<\/span><\/p>\n Another <\/span>variant of this approach is that the parents alternate living in the home with the children for a specified period each week<\/b>, while the “off duty” parent lives in a separate residence or stays at the home of a friend or family member.<\/span><\/p>\n The “Birdnesting” arrangement became more popular after the economic recession of 2008. <\/span><\/p>\n An attractive financial option, with the possible added benefit of reducing the emotional impact of the separation on the children.<\/span><\/p>\n If you are wondering about birdnesting divorce custody options or is bird’s nest custody the best solution for your family then let’s shed some more light on this topic.<\/span><\/p>\n “Birdnesting” is not without challenges<\/b>. This is especially true if the parents plan on using this approach long-term. It is <\/span>common for emotional tension between parents to arise post-separation.<\/b><\/p>\n This tension usually eases with the passage of time <\/b>as the parents get on with their new lives. In the “Birdnesting” scenario, however, this tension can continue to simmer or even build as they share the same home, even on different days.<\/span><\/p>\n Another reason for favoring this type of custody arrangement<\/a> is that <\/span>for one or both parents there may be ambivalence about the separation<\/b>. This could be due to their concerns about the impact of the divorce on the kids<\/a> or their own feelings of loss or guilt regarding the split.<\/span><\/p>\n Over time, however, “Birdnesting” can create obstacles to the parents’ ability to move on and fully live their own lives.<\/span><\/p>\n An important reason parents are drawn to the idea of “Birdnesting” is that they believe that it is in their children’s best interests for the family to remain intact in some fashion rather than to fully separate.<\/span><\/p>\n Although the benefit of <\/span>a gradual transition via “Birdnesting” may provide some comfort<\/b> to the children in the initial separation phase. As a long-term solution these arrangements can be more difficult and confusing for the kids than a two-household solution might be.<\/span><\/p>\n It’s understandable that parents would want to <\/span>mitigate the emotional damage experienced by the children<\/b> due to a physical separation from the other parent. In this regard “Birdnesting” can seem like a good compromise.<\/span><\/p>\n Unfortunately, it’s not possible to be “kind of” divorced. The fact is that having to go your own way, leaving your familiar life for the unknown, is difficult.<\/span><\/p>\n In the long run, however, that difficult journey is safer for you and your children. Living a semi-separate existence from the other parents in the same home is generally not a sustainable long-term solution.<\/span><\/p>\n One serious pitfall of this type of arrangement is that the longer parents must contend with each other in close quarters once they decide to split, the angrier and more resentful they may become.<\/span><\/p>\n Legal and clinical professionals deal with issues related to parents sharing or cohabitating a common residence on a regular basis.<\/span><\/p>\n Their intervention is required due to the escalation of parental conflict<\/a> that this type of arrangement engenders. This <\/span>conflict can lead to charges of domestic violence<\/b> and subsequent restraining orders.<\/span><\/p>\n In my latest book “Change Your Mind” I highlight the potential for increased conflict and the possibility of domestic violence occurring as the result of tensions that arise between the parents post-separation.<\/span><\/p>\n If a finding of domestic violence is established against a parent, it creates major barriers to that parent sharing Joint Legal and Joint Physical Custody of their children<\/a>.<\/span><\/p>\n “Birdnesting” can also have unintended consequences for the kids.<\/b> Residing in the former family home, the scene of so many memories both good and sad can become emotionally overwhelming for a parent.<\/span><\/p>\n Kids can sense how their parents are feeling.<\/b> An emotionally upset parent, no matter how adept at disguise, can distract the kids from focusing on school, friends and extracurricular activities.<\/span><\/p>\n Additionally, long-term parental cohabitation may create confusion for the kids who view the parents continued cohabitation as a sign that they will eventually reunite.<\/span><\/p>\nPros and cons of bird nesting divorce plans<\/h2>\n
Managing bird-nesting: The new trend in co-parenting<\/h2>\n