

{"id":38941,"date":"2019-06-13T09:38:35","date_gmt":"2019-06-13T09:38:35","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/?p=38941"},"modified":"2025-01-21T04:43:18","modified_gmt":"2025-01-21T04:43:18","slug":"intj-relationships","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/mental-health\/intj-relationships\/","title":{"rendered":"INTJ Personality &#038; Love: What You Need to Know Before Dating One"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-38943 size-full\" title=\"INTJ Relationships - Can They Thrive\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/INTJ-Relationships-Can-They-Thrive.jpg\" alt=\"INTJ Relationships - Can They Thriv\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Most of us have heard of the Myers-Briggs test.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This self-reporting test, whose full name is the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, or<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.myersbriggs.orghttps\/www.myersbriggs.org\/my-mbti-personality-type\/mbti-basics\/home.htm?bhcp=1\/my-mbti-personality-type\/mbti-basics\/home.htm?bhcp=1\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"> <span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">MBTI<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, provides test-takers with an idea of their psychological makeup.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Used by individuals and companies who want greater insight into what motivates people, the results of the test break out users into one of 16 distinctive personality types.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Once you know your personality type, you can then learn more about how this type interacts with others in interpersonal relationships, how they perceive the world around them, and what guides their decision-making mechanisms.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">For employers, this information is helpful in understanding how to best manage and inspire all types of employees.&nbsp; For people who are curious and enjoy introspection, knowing your or your partner&rsquo;s personality type aids in a better understanding of how we interact and why we do certain things in certain ways.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">While the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator is not recognized as a hard science tool&mdash;it carries no predictive power, and the results are quite generalized&mdash;it is, like astrology, a fun way to obtain and interpret data that can be surprisingly accurate at times.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The results of the test are broken down not only into 16 personality types but into four broad categories, known as dichotomies, which dictate the following:<\/span><\/p>\n<ol><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Degree of extraversion or introversion<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Degree of sensing and intuition<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Degree of thinking and feeling<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Degree of judging and perceiving<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol><h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"What-is-an-INTJ-personality\"><\/span><b>What is an INTJ personality?<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You or your romantic partner have taken the <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.myersbriggs.org\/my-mbti-personality-type\/mbti-basics\/\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Myers-Briggs test<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, and the results have come in:&nbsp; INTJ. What does this acronym stand for?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Nicknamed the &ldquo;Mastermind&rdquo; personality type, the INTJ is Introverted, Intuitive, Thinking, and Judging.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">They are strong strategic thinkers, excelling in analysis and critical thinking. They love to organize systems and make things work more efficiently.&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">True introverts may seem cold and aloof and have difficulty in social situations. INTJs make up only 2% of the population. INTJs are typically male, but females are also represented within this personality type.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"INTJs-in-romantic-relationships-and-dating\"><\/span><b>INTJs in romantic relationships and dating<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">INTJs struggle to find the right person for a <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/romance\/have-a-romantic-relationship\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">romantic relationship<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.&nbsp; They are not your typical &ldquo;Tinder&rdquo; type of person, just out for one-night stands or short-term affairs.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The INTJ personality type is rare, and it may take a long time to open up completely to a friend or partner.&nbsp; But when they do, they are incredibly loyal and completely authentic, and honest. It is impossible for INTJs to lie.&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Dishonesty is just not part of their character. In that way, if you are in a relationship with an INTJ, you can always trust that what they are communicating to you is the truth.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"How-to-communicate-with-an-INTJ-personality\"><\/span><b>How to communicate with an INTJ personality?<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It&rsquo;s important to bear the following in mind when speaking with an INTJ:<\/span><\/p>\n<ul><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Be direct: INTJs value clear, concise communication, so avoid being cryptic or evasive.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Use logic and facts to support your arguments: INTJs are extremely analytical and respect logical reasoning, so be sure to back up your claims with thoughtful justifications and data.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Respect their boundaries: INTJs appreciate their private and personal space, so refrain from violating it or exerting undue pressure on them to share information or get attention.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Avoid making arguments based solely on feelings or personal experience since INTJs stress rational and practical reasoning over emotions.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul><h2><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-38850 size-full\" title=\"Their love language\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/4-Complicated-Truths-About-Lying-to-Your-Partner-You-Need-to-Know.jpg\" alt=\"Their love language?\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/h2>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Important-to-know-when-dating-an-INTJ\"><\/span><b>Important to know when dating an INTJ&nbsp;<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">They are very loyal and dedicated to their partner.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">They support and believe in the dreams, goals, and aspirations of their partner and they expect the same in return. You can always count on them.&nbsp; In a time of need, INTJ will drop everything and be there for you.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"What-do-INTJs-want-in-a-relationship\"><\/span><b>What do INTJs want in a relationship?<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">INTJs, are extremely analytical and strategic people. With a long-term outlook, they look for partners who can both challenge and encourage them as they pursue their professional and personal objectives.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">INTJs prioritize growth and intellectual stimulation in their relationships and respect intelligence, independence, and honesty in a mate. INTJs seek partners who share their values, communicate well, and are eager to invest in ongoing self-improvement in order to have a deep and lasting connection.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">According to licensed mental health counselor <\/span><a class=\"editor-rtfLink\" href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/experts\/grady-shumway\" target=\"_blank\"><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">Grady Shumway<\/span><\/a><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">:<\/span><\/p>\n<blockquote><p><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">They also value a sense of mutual respect and autonomy, as they appreciate space to pursue their individual goals while maintaining a strong, supportive partnership.<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">INTJs are sincerely devoted to their spouses and are prepared to put up the effort to make their relationships work, despite the fact that they can be reserved and challenging to read.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"5-secret-to-being-in-a-relationship-with-an-INTJ-personality\"><\/span><b>5 secret to being in a relationship with an <\/b><b>INTJ <\/b><b>personality<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<h3><b>1. INTJ love language?<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Helping their partner reach their goals. They are the ultimate cheerleader. In that respect, INTJ relationships are very conducive to their partner&rsquo;s success.<\/span><\/p>\n<pre><b><i>Related Reading:<\/i><\/b> <a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/love\/different-love-languages\/\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">10 Things to Do When a Couple Has Different Love Languages&reg;<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/pre>\n<h3><b>2. INTJs need a lot of time alone, with no distractions<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">INTJ relationships entail the struggle for their non-negotiable need to have downtime alone.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This is their sacred space, the place they go to reenergize and tap into their own resources.&nbsp; No small talk or chit-chat, please. INTJs need their alone time to plan and strategize (two things they thrive on).&nbsp; For a partner who needs a constant stream of conversation, an INTJ is a bad choice.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>3. INTJs keep most of their emotional lives in their heads<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">INTJ relationships can be rife with conflict as their partners can assume them to be emotionless.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This does not mean they are automatons.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It just means they don&rsquo;t share every single inner feeling with their romantic partner.&nbsp; But they are feeling them, don&rsquo;t worry! They are merely not as expressive as other personality types.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">For INTJs, emotions are a private matter, not to be broadcast to the world at large.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This is not the type of person who is going to propose to you via the giant screen at the ballpark.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Check out this video to understand how INTJs handle their emotions:<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"YouTube video player\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/Jqho-CAIRoc\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<h3><b>4. Value their independence&nbsp;<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Respecting their need for alone time and refraining from being overly clingy or possessive is key when dealing with independent INTJs since they value their independence and personal space.<\/span><\/p>\n<pre><b><i>Related Reading:<\/i><\/b> <a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/be-independent-in-a-relationship\/\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Why Is It Important to Be Independent in a Relationship?<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/pre>\n<h3><b>5. They prefer solutions to hugs<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">INTJ romantic match is someone who is good at conflict resolution. They do not like open-ended disputes and will seek a way to find a good end to any disagreement. If you are someone that pouts or prefers not to work towards compromise with your partner, the INTJ is not a good partner for you.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>Grady Shumway adds that:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>INTJs value practical solutions over emotional gestures, so they appreciate partners who are willing to engage in problem-solving and work through challenges constructively rather than focusing solely on comfort or reassurance.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"FAQs\"><\/span><b>FAQs<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Check out more questions on INTJ personality and how they are in relationships:<\/span><\/p>\n<ul><li aria-level=\"1\">\n<h3><b>Are INTJs good in relationships?<\/b><\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">INTJs start strong.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Before they date someone, they already know a lot about them and that they like them. They do not date anyone who is not worth the emotional risk.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">They not only like their partner&rsquo;s physical appearance, but their mind is as highly attractive to them as well.&nbsp; They will spend a lot of time questioning you to get to know what is going on in your head.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">INTJs get along with a partner who understands their need for quiet, alone time. In discussion with their partner, the INTJ will ask a lot of questions, as they need to gather data for later analysis.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If they sense their partner is hurt or suffering, they will do everything they can to find the source of that hurt and fix it.<\/span><\/p>\n<ul><li aria-level=\"1\">\n<h3><b>Are INTJs afraid of relationships?<\/b><\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">INTJs tend to be cautious when it comes to relationships. They prefer efficiency and dislike when feelings get in the way of their goals. They may struggle to strike a balance between their desire for personal space and emotional intimacy in a relationship, but they are not inherently afraid of relationships.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Although INTJs may find it difficult to <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/ways-men-express-their-feelings-without-words\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">express their emotions<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> and often need time to do so, with the right partner, they may establish strong, meaningful relationships.<\/span><\/p>\n<ul><li aria-level=\"1\">\n<h3><b>How does an INTJ deal with their emotions?<\/b><\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Due to their tendency to be logical and analytical, INTJs may find it difficult to express and manage their emotions. They might suppress their emotions or stay away from them entirely.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">However, INTJs might gain from understanding their emotions and developing healthy habits for expressing and processing them. This can include keeping a journal, going for <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/counseling\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">relationship counseling<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, or finding a reliable companion.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">For INTJs, emotions can be controlled by adopting relaxation activities like yoga or meditation.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Takeaway\"><\/span><b>Takeaway<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">They can become overwhelmed with too much information and feel like all their planning is breaking down.&nbsp; This may trigger a fight-or-flight reaction.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">They can make their partner feel scrutinized and judged.&nbsp; Because INTJs are in constant analysis mode, this may make their date feel like they are being observed in a laboratory.&nbsp; No one enjoys being treated as a test subject.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">INTJs can move way too fast. They have decided they like you and are already planning your mutual future way too soon.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false,"raw":""},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Most of us have heard of the Myers-Briggs test. This self-reporting test, whose full name is the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, or MBTI, provides test-takers with an idea of their psychological makeup. Used by individuals and companies who want greater insight into what motivates people, the results of the test break out users into one of 16 distinctive personality types. Once you know your personality type, you can then learn more about how this type interacts with others in interpersonal relationships, how they perceive the world around them, and what guides their decision-making mechanisms. For employers, this information is helpful in <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1419,"featured_media":38943,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[2501],"tags":[2595],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/38941"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1419"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=38941"}],"version-history":[{"count":9,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/38941\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":107039,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/38941\/revisions\/107039"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/38943"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=38941"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=38941"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=38941"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}