{"id":35833,"date":"2019-03-19T07:07:09","date_gmt":"2019-03-19T07:07:09","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/?p=35833"},"modified":"2023-03-20T04:20:20","modified_gmt":"2023-03-20T04:20:20","slug":"leaving-a-narcissist","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/mental-health\/leaving-a-narcissist\/","title":{"rendered":"Leaving a Narcissist – How to Get out of Your Relationship with a Narcissist"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

 <\/p>\n

\"Leaving<\/p>\n

Are you in love with a narcissist, but have had enough of their self-serving behaviors?  Are you considering leaving them? You are probably having a difficult time making the decision. <\/span><\/p>\n

Narcissists can be very charming, especially when they sense you’ve got one foot out the door.  We understand it is hard to leave this type of person, after all, they can be warm, attentive, funny and brilliant…for awhile.  Until they revert back to their typical narcissistic self, where everything is focused on them. <\/span><\/p>\n

Let’s talk about this complex type of person, and look at some<\/span> good strategies<\/span><\/a> for<\/span> extricating<\/span><\/a> yourself from the relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n

First of all,<\/span> how do you identify a narcissist?<\/span><\/a> If you are unsure if your partner is a true narcissist, ask yourself the following questions:<\/span><\/p>\n

  1. Do they act like the entire world revolves around them?  <\/span><\/li>\n
  2. Does every conversation revolve around them, and if you start to talk about anything else, do they steer the discussion back to them?<\/span><\/li>\n
  3. If you express a differing opinion, do they get angry, tell you you are wrong, or become cold towards you?<\/span><\/li>\n
  4. Do they delight in breaking rules, such as cheating on taxes, taking up two parking spaces, cutting in line, shoplifting, or going over the speed limit?  Do they think these rules shouldn’t apply to them?<\/span><\/li>\n
  5. Are they unable to express empathy for others?<\/span><\/li>\n
  6. Do they have a lack of respect for others’ boundaries?  Do they use your personal things without asking, or borrow money without paying it back?  <\/span><\/li>\n
  7. Do they like external symbols of wealth and power, especially if they have neither?  Like an expensive car that they can’t afford, or a club membership that puts them into debt.  It’s all about appearances.<\/span><\/li>\n
  8. Do they have an inflated sense of self-importance?  Have they told you you won’t survive if you try to leave them, that no one else would ever love you like they do?<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>

    These are but some of the<\/span> traits of narcissists.<\/span><\/a>  Now, let’s see why it is so difficult to<\/span> leave them.<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n

    If you are in a relationship with a narcissist, you are probably feeling depressed, depleted and with a low sense of self-worth.  <\/span><\/p>\n

    This is the result of the narcissist’s manipulating strategies, making you feel worthless in order to keep you close to them, the “only person who really loves you.”  <\/span><\/i><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

    This is not good for your mental health.  Leaving a narcissistic partner is the best thing you can do to keep yourself healthy.<\/span><\/p>\n

    Charm their way back into your life<\/strong><\/p>\n

    When a narcissistic partner fears being dumped, they will turn on the charm.<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

    They will try every trick in the book to get you to stay; their manipulative powers of persuasion are fierce.  But be strong. Even if they are capable of showing “normal” behavior, it will not last and their true colors will return eventually.  You will need to be firm with your partner when they try and reel you back in. Remind yourself of the following traits:<\/span><\/p>\n