{"id":35349,"date":"2019-03-08T05:27:30","date_gmt":"2019-03-08T05:27:30","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/?p=35349"},"modified":"2023-07-31T07:48:15","modified_gmt":"2023-07-31T07:48:15","slug":"should-we-get-marriage-counseling","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/counseling\/should-we-get-marriage-counseling\/","title":{"rendered":"Should We Get Marriage Counseling? Tips for Finding the Right Counselor"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

\"Should<\/p>\n

“Marriage is so easy!” – said no one, ever. From dormant trust issues to co-parenting conflicts, every couple hits roadblocks in their marriage. <\/span><\/p>\n

Enter marriage counseling. <\/span><\/p>\n

Whether you’re having major trouble communicating or just want to smooth out some minor kinks, marriage counseling a great way to work through patches of all kinds. <\/span><\/p>\n

Here’s what you can expect from a marriage counseling session, when to consider going, and what to look for in a <\/span>marriage counselor<\/span><\/a> who’s right for both you <\/span>and<\/span><\/i> your partner: <\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>What is marriage counseling?<\/span><\/h2>\n

Though the name implies you have to be married to attend, <\/span>marriage counseling<\/span><\/a> is actually therapy for couples of all sorts who are in committed relationships. <\/span><\/p>\n

Couples meet with a therapist once a week for several weeks or months to address and resolve challenges that the relationship is facing. <\/span><\/i><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

The therapist provides techniques and communication tactics to help couples navigate the difficult conversations and provide problem solving techniques. <\/span><\/p>\n

During these sessions, couples are able to increase awareness of current patterns of interaction and cultivate problem solving techniques that ultimately <\/span>increase satisfaction in their relationship<\/span><\/a> and with themselves. <\/span><\/p>\n

The structure of each session varies based on the therapist, but they are typically facilitated by the therapist guiding conversation and encouraging <\/span>open communication<\/span><\/a> and suggesting any tips as they see fit.  <\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>When to get marriage counseling:<\/span><\/h2>\n

Here are a few signs you and your partner would benefit from attending marriage counseling <\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>1. Communication is not the same<\/span><\/h2>\n

Did your relationship start out strong with daily dialogue and open-ended communication? <\/span><\/p>\n

Or are you finding that you are talking, but it’s always negative or just a means to an end? Or maybe you’re simply afraid to even talk or bring up issues with your partner. <\/span><\/p>\n

If so, allowing a therapist to enter into the non-communication hurdle you and your partner are experiencing and offer guidance and <\/span>effective ways to communicate<\/span><\/a> might help. <\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>2. You find yourself keeping secrets<\/span><\/h2>\n

There’s a strong line between privacy and <\/span>keeping secrets from your partner<\/span><\/a>. <\/span><\/p>\n

Secrets can range from financial infidelity<\/a> to thoughts of being unfaithful. Allowing yourself or your partner the opportunity to air these secrets in a safe space of counseling are healthy way to navigate them. <\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>3. Your sex life has changed for the worse<\/span><\/h2>\n

Sex is an important part of many marriages – and when it changes, or someone within the relationship feels their needs are not being met, a strain can occur. <\/span><\/p>\n

Seeking out therapy to understand where the change is coming from or why the change has occurred is mutually beneficial and can help <\/span>revive your marriage<\/span><\/a>. Sex therapy is also an option for addressing most bedroom concerns.  <\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>4. When an ongoing problem just doesn’t go away<\/span><\/h2>\n

\"When<\/p>\n

It’s impossible to be in a relationship with someone where you share the same viewpoint on every issue. <\/span><\/p>\n

But when those issues becomes more than just an occasional debate, you might have a larger problem on your hand. These issues can range from the number of children you want, communication issues as new parents, to religious beliefs and ideologies. <\/span><\/p>\n

Seeking counseling to work through them and learn effective communication skills is a great place to start. <\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>How can we find a good marriage counselor for us?<\/span><\/h2>\n

It’s important to know that every marriage counselor is different, so you and your partner should look for someone you both feel comfortable with. <\/span><\/p>\n

Take your time <\/span>looking for the right therapist<\/span><\/a> – that might mean coming up with a list of questions you want to ask, then scheduling an initial call. You can even have separate calls for each of you, to make sure you both trust the therapist. <\/span><\/p>\n

You might interview three or four different therapists until you find your perfect match. <\/span><\/p>\n

It can also be helpful to clarify your goals together before starting couples counseling. Sit down and discuss the following questions together:<\/span><\/p>\n

  1. How do we want to grow together as a couple?<\/span><\/li>\n
  2. What is our conflict style? Does it need work?  <\/span><\/li>\n
  3. Could we improve the quality or <\/span>frequency of our intimacy<\/span><\/a>?<\/span><\/li>\n
  4. Are we ever abusive to each other? If yes, how? <\/span><\/li>\n
  5. Do we have shared goals?  <\/span><\/li>\n
  6. Do we need to work on listening to and validating each other?<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>

    Once you have a clearer idea of what you want out of therapy, it can be easier to find a therapist who’s prepared to help you meet those goals.<\/span><\/p>\n

    <\/span>How much does marriage counseling cost?<\/span><\/h2>\n

    Marriage counseling costs vary, depending on the therapist and the couple’s insurance coverage.<\/span><\/i><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

    For example, marriage counselors in NYC on average cost between $150 and $250 for a one hour session; in Rhode Island, marriage counselors cost on average between $80 and $125, and in Boston, marriage counselors cost between $90 and $150 per session. <\/span><\/p>\n

    However, with insurance coverage, a one-hour session may cost the couple as little as a $20 co-pay. <\/span>Ready to find the right marriage counselor for you and yours? <\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false,"raw":""},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    “Marriage is so easy!” – said no one, ever. From dormant trust issues to co-parenting conflicts, every couple hits roadblocks in their marriage. Enter marriage counseling. Whether you’re having major trouble communicating or just want to smooth out some minor kinks, marriage counseling a great way to work through patches of all kinds. Here’s what you can expect from a marriage counseling session, when to consider going, and what to look for in a marriage counselor who’s right for both you and your partner: What is marriage counseling? Though the name implies you have to be married to attend, marriage counseling <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":562,"featured_media":2025,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[15],"tags":[2666],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/35349"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/562"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=35349"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/35349\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":53547,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/35349\/revisions\/53547"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2025"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=35349"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=35349"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=35349"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}