

{"id":34890,"date":"2019-02-25T10:47:13","date_gmt":"2019-02-25T10:47:13","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/?p=34890"},"modified":"2024-03-28T10:11:26","modified_gmt":"2024-03-28T10:11:26","slug":"ways-to-stop-loving-someone-who-doesnt-love-you","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/love\/ways-to-stop-loving-someone-who-doesnt-love-you\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Stop Loving Someone Who Doesn&#8217;t Love You: 15 Effective Tips"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-37877\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/An-unrequited-story-love-from-a-distance.jpg\" alt=\"An unrequited story love from a distance\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Love just happens. It needs no explanation or reason.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.researchgate.net\/publication\/230796719_Predictors_of_How_Often_and_When_People_Fall_in_Love\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">research<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> here talks about how prone are men or women to falling in love and what factors determine how often and <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/why-do-we-fall-in-love\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">when people fall in love<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You never know which habit or a part of someone&rsquo;s character will attract you to them, and the next thing you know, you&rsquo;re in love with them. However, it&rsquo;s best when the same feeling is reciprocated from them as well.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You must back off at the right time to save yourself from a <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/counseling\/how-to-deal-with-heart-breaks\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">heart-aching experience<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. This is where you need to know how to stop loving someone who doesn&rsquo;t love you.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"What-to-do-if-someone-does-not-love-you-back\"><\/span><b>What to do if someone does not love you back?<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-58108\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/tips-on-how-to-handle-unrequited-love-1605790870.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What is it like being in love with someone who doesn&rsquo;t love you? Well, it sucks.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">However, unrequited love, or when someone does not love you back, is not an uncommon situation to be in. sometimes, someone you develop romantic feelings for may only look at you as a friend or might not even notice you at all.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">How to stop loving someone who doesn&rsquo;t love you?&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">While love is a feeling and it is believed that it is not a choice, at the end of the day, it begins with liking and preference. If someone does not spend time with you because they do not enjoy it, they are less likely to fall in love with you.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Therefore, when it happens, you may need a plan of action to keep yourself together. Unrequited love can be heartbreaking, and people have different ways of dealing with it.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When you find out that someone you love does not love you back, the first thing you have to do about it is to accept it. Acceptance can be tough, and you might find yourself digging into questions like why, why not, and how.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">But you have to keep telling yourself that it is what it is. Other things you must not do when someone does not love you back include questioning your self-worth, making yourself miserable, or self-destructing your life.<\/span><\/p>\n<pre><b><i>Related Reading: <\/i><\/b><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/love\/unrequited-love\/\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">How to Deal With Unrequited Love: 8 Ways<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/pre>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Can-you-stop-loving-someone-if-you-truly-loved-them\"><\/span><b>Can you stop loving someone if you truly loved them?<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Well, yes. As much as you believe now that you can never stop loving this person, it is possible to unlove them. As we move on in life, new people come in. They help us grow and become even better versions of ourselves.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Everyone serves a purpose in our life, and when a certain someone no longer plays a role so important, we can find ourselves falling out of love with them. You should be grateful for the time <\/span><b>you spent with someone and that you got to know them in whatever capacity.<\/b><\/p>\n<p>In this Ted Talk, The singer and rapper Dessa, talks about if you can choose to fall out of lov<span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">e.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"YouTube video player\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/-seMFHOxZhI\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"How-to-stop-loving-someone-who-doesn%E2%80%99t-love-you-15-effective-steps\"><\/span><b>How to stop loving someone who doesn&rsquo;t love you: 15 effective steps<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Listed below are pointers that will guide you to come out of your one-sided love.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>1. Acceptance<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><b>One of the hardest yet necessary things to do is accept that they don&rsquo;t need you.<\/b><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You were in love with them, they weren&rsquo;t. In some cases, they&rsquo;re even not aware of your feelings. Even if you have expressed yourself, it doesn&rsquo;t mean they should love you back.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Love is a feeling that comes automatically and just can&rsquo;t be ignited like that.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">So, the best way to stop being hurt is to accept that they don&rsquo;t need you and take a step back. The quicker you accept it, the faster you can come out of it.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/experts\/maggie-martinez\">Maggie Martinez, LCSW<\/a>, highlights<\/p>\n<div class=\"docos-collapsible-replyview\">\n<div class=\"docos-replyview-static\">\n<blockquote>\n<div class=\"docos-replyview-body docos-anchoredreplyview-body docos-replyview-body-emoji-reactable docos-replyview-body-emoji-reactable-background\" dir=\"ltr\">In Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT), we often talk about radical acceptance. This means accepting your emotions and feelings and realizing what is in versus out of your control.<\/div>\n<\/blockquote>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<pre><b><i>Related Reading:<\/i><\/b> <a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/developing-acceptance-skills-in-a-relationship\/\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Developing Acceptance Skills in a Relationship<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/pre>\n<h3><b>2. Distraction<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">how to get over someone who doesn&rsquo;t love you?<\/span><\/i> <b>Distract yourself.<\/b><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It is possible they loved you at some point, but that <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/love\/the-true-meaning-of-love-in-a-relationship\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">love and affection<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> for you has dried off.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Now, they just don&rsquo;t want you anymore.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This can be difficult as you are still in love with them. Understand that they have lost all affection and emotions for you, but you still have some feelings for them.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In such a situation, it will be good to distract yourself from the situation and try focusing on important things in your life other than them. It may take a while to figure things out, but once you&rsquo;ve done it, be on it.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Pursue that religiously and before you know it, they will be your past.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>3. Don&rsquo;t go back<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">How to forget someone who doesn&rsquo;t love you?<\/span><\/i> <b>Just do not go back.<\/b><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Our mind plays tricky games with us in various situations.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">While you are following some of the best ways to stop loving someone who doesn&rsquo;t love you, your mind might create an urge to go back to them.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This is normal as love is a potent drug.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Once <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/addicted-to-a-person\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">you&rsquo;re addicted<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, it&rsquo;s difficult to recover. In such a situation, you have to fight back with your urge and focus on things that are right for you. You can&rsquo;t lose this battle; otherwise, you will return to where you started your recovery journey.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">So, be strong-headed and follow what&rsquo;s right. It will be challenging, but you must set aside the urge and follow the path.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>4. Speak to someone<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">&ldquo;I love someone who doesn&rsquo;t love me. What do I do?&rdquo;<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Be it heartbreaks or any personal problem, speaking about it with someone known always helps.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">They&rsquo;re always there to help you and guide you in such situations. They emerge as your backbone and support system and help you overcome every step.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">So, speak to someone you trust when you think you need to just get over someone who doesn&rsquo;t love you. Share your feeling with them and seek their guidance. They will surely help you get back on track.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>5. Prioritize yourself<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Often, our priorities and dreams take a backseat when we are so involved with someone.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Since you&rsquo;re aware that someone you love doesn&rsquo;t love you, it&rsquo;s time you revisit your priorities and start sorting them out.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><i>What we want may not be important, but what we need surely is.<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It could be looking for a better professional opportunity, a long-desired vacation, or a hobby you wanted. So, list what you need and start ticking them off.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you like reading, you may want to check out this book that talks about <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/books.google.co.in\/books\/about\/Stop_Overthinking.html?id=HAVazQEACAAJ&amp;redir_esc=y\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">keeping negative thoughts away.&nbsp;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n<h3><b>6. Love yourself<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What to do when someone doesn&rsquo;t love you back? Make sure you love yourself!<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Always give priority to self-love and self-care. Have some &lsquo;me&rsquo; time. Groom yourself. Join a gym or a dance class. Spend some time with yourself and see how you can improve yourself. Learning a new hobby will surely be an added way to pamper you.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<pre><b><i>Related Reading: <\/i><\/b><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/learning-to-love-yourself\/\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">5 Steps to Help You With Learning to Love Yourself<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/pre>\n<h3><b>7. Get a reality check<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It may be possible for you to still hold on to the dream of getting back together while you follow the aforementioned best ways to stop loving someone who doesn&rsquo;t love you. It is time that you come out of that dream.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>You need to abandon it and bury it in your past.<\/b><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Two individuals can only come together when they are deeply in love with each other. A one-sided love affair isn&rsquo;t fruitful. So, leave the dream behind and focus on what the future holds for you.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>8. Don&rsquo;t get angry<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">How to let go of someone who doesn&rsquo;t love you?<\/span><\/i> <b>Do not get angry or resentful.&nbsp;<\/b><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It may happen that the person you were in love with will soon be with someone else.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It will be hard for you to face reality. In any case, you mustn&rsquo;t lose your anger. Getting angry at them means you still love them and hope to get back together again. The reality is different, and you must make peace with it. Losing anger is never a good sign. So, move on.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/experts\/maggie-martinez\">Maggie Martinez<\/a>, LCSW, notes that,<\/p>\n<div class=\"docos-collapsible-replyview\">\n<div class=\"docos-replyview-static\">\n<blockquote>\n<div class=\"docos-replyview-body docos-anchoredreplyview-body docos-replyview-body-emoji-reactable docos-replyview-body-emoji-reactable-background\" dir=\"ltr\">Being angry at them keeps the connection between you and them alive. Try and sever the connection in order to move on.<\/div>\n<\/blockquote>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<pre><b><i>Related Reading:<\/i><\/b> <a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/anger-and-resentment\/\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">How Do You Let Go of Anger and Resentment in a Relationship?<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/pre>\n<h3><b>9. Avoid short-term fixes<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Have you been asking yourself, <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">&ldquo;How to stop loving someone you can&rsquo;t have?&rdquo;<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You may feel that getting drunk with your friends or even alone will help you forget the pain for a little while. However, it may not be such a good idea. One, it might not help at all, and even if it does, it will only be a temporary fix.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You may feel your emotions a little too much, call the person you love, and say things you regret the following day.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>10. Do not blame<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">How to stop loving someone who doesn&rsquo;t love you?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It can be tough, given how you feel, but try not to blame someone or something for this situation. It is not someone&rsquo;s fault that they do not love you back. It is not your fault either. Blaming will get you nowhere.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It is important to accept the situation for what it is. If you try to blame someone for it, you will hold on to resentment, which will get in the way of your healing.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<pre><b><i>Related Reading: <\/i><\/b><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/how-to-stop-the-blame-game-in-relationship\/\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">How to Stop the Blame Game in Your Relationship<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/pre>\n<h3><b>11. Avoid a rebound<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-33237\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/01\/Is-Loving-Two-People-Right-Or-Wrong.jpg\" alt=\"Here Are Some Concrete Exercises in Getting Through Unrequited Love\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Sometimes, you may find yourself looking for someone else to fill the void this unrequited love has left in your life. You may like that feeling when you find someone who treats you well and likes you.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">However, when the euphoria fades away, you will realize that you were not in love with this new person but were just using them to feel better. You may end up hurting yourself and them in this process.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>12. Lose touch<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">One of the most effective ways to let go of someone who doesn&rsquo;t love you back is to lose touch with them. Avoid contact with them, do not speak to them regularly, and avoid keeping up with them on social media. This will help you take your mind off them, what they are doing, and who they are meeting.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>13. Declutter<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When you look around the room, do you see things they gifted you or you had an inside joke about? Put these things away. Even if you do not want to throw them away or donate them, just put them in a box and keep them away for now. Constantly looking at things that remind you of them may not be helpful right now.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>Decluttering the stuff may declutter your mind as well.<\/b><\/p>\n<h3><b>14. Get out!<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Physical exercise can <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au\/health\/healthyliving\/exercise-and-mental-health\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">help immensely<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> when dealing with <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/negative-thoughts-in-relationship\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">negative thoughts<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> and feelings. Push yourself just a little bit, and get out. Walking in nature, breathing fresh air, and taking better care of yourself help you feel positive.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>15. Let go of &lsquo;could bes&rsquo;<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It is very difficult to shake off the picture of a future with the person you love. When you fall in love, you start to plan your life with this person. Often, it is not the person you have to let go of but also the idea of <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">could bes and would bes.&nbsp;<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The sooner you do that, however, the easier it will be for you to move on.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"In-a-nutshell\"><\/span><b>In a nutshell<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It is never easy to undo love when emotionally attached to a person, be it a relationship or a one-sided crush. Above mentioned best ways to stop loving someone who doesn&rsquo;t love you will help you overcome it.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It surely will be a difficult path, but moving forward is the only way to get out of this situation. All the best!<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false,"raw":""},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Love just happens. It needs no explanation or reason. This research here talks about how prone are men or women to falling in love and what factors determine how often and when people fall in love. You never know which habit or a part of someone&rsquo;s character will attract you to them, and the next thing you know, you&rsquo;re in love with them. However, it&rsquo;s best when the same feeling is reciprocated from them as well.&nbsp; You must back off at the right time to save yourself from a heart-aching experience. This is where you need to know how to <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":630,"featured_media":37877,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[2502],"tags":[2606],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/34890"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/630"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=34890"}],"version-history":[{"count":8,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/34890\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":97514,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/34890\/revisions\/97514"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/37877"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=34890"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=34890"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=34890"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}