{"id":34089,"date":"2019-02-12T10:57:04","date_gmt":"2019-02-12T10:57:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/?p=34089"},"modified":"2026-01-03T14:03:50","modified_gmt":"2026-01-03T14:03:50","slug":"how-to-survive-an-asperger-marriage","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/mental-health\/how-to-survive-an-asperger-marriage\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Cope With a Spouse With Asperger Syndrome"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-34092 size-full\" title=\"How to Survive a Marriage with a Spouse Who Has Asperger Syndrome\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/How-to-survive-a-marriage-with-a-spouse-who-has-Asperger-syndrome.jpg\" alt=\"How to Survive a Marriage with a Spouse Who Has Asperger Syndrome\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Thinking about how to survive your marriage with a spouse who has Asperger syndrome? Want to live a healthy and happy marriage?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Before starting, remind yourself that in a<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/15-key-secrets-to-a-successful-marriage\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> happy marriage<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, partners can only control their own behavior and change their own selves, not their partner&rsquo;s.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Asperger-Syndrome\"><\/span><b>Asperger Syndrome<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"YouTube video player\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/d1TzC2Iu8Lg?si=JfN6dtRbs388BV6M\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><span data-mce-type=\"bookmark\" style=\"display: inline-block; width: 0px; overflow: hidden; line-height: 0;\" class=\"mce_SELRES_start\">&#65279;<\/span><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Asperger syndrome is a disorder characterized by difficulties in social interaction and non-verbal communication accompanied by restricted and repetitive patterns of behavior and interests.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><strong>According to the National Institute of Neurological Disorders and Stroke (NINDS), Asperger syndrome means:<\/strong><\/p>\n<blockquote><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Asperger syndrome (AS) is a developmental disorder.&nbsp; It is an autism spectrum disorder (ASD), one of a distinct group of neurological conditions characterized by a greater or lesser degree of impairment in language and communication skills, as well as repetitive or restrictive patterns of thought and behavior.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Asperger-syndrome-affecting-marriage\"><\/span><b>Asperger syndrome affecting marriage<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><strong>Asperger&rsquo;s marriage refers to Aspies&rsquo; marriage, i.e., people having symptoms of Asperger syndrome (AS).&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Either both persons or one of them is an Aspie. Mostly it is said that Asperger&rsquo;s marriage would end up leaving the couple devastated.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">But that&rsquo;s not true; not always does Asperger&rsquo;s marriage end up in divorce, but it is possible to overcome the frustrating conditions occurring in marital life with the right Asperger&rsquo;s marriage advice.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Difficulties-due-to-Asperger-syndrome\"><\/span><b>Difficulties due to Asperger syndrome<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><b>People with Asperger&rsquo;s face many difficulties in life. Some include:<\/b><\/p>\n<ul><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Problem in social interaction &amp; communication<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The restricted and repetitive pattern of behavior or activities<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Difficulty in emotional interactions<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">May have trouble making eye contact<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Say or do something unintentionally that would hurt people<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Difficulty in understanding gestures, facial expressions or body language<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">May not understand others feelings<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Sexual problems<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Jealousy<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Issues with people&rsquo;s proximity<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Stress and confusion caused by sarcasm, jokes, etc.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Clumsy movements and uncoordinated behavior<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Depression and anxiety<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul><h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Asperger%E2%80%99s-marriage-advice-How-to-cope-with-Aspergers-partners\"><\/span><b>Asperger&rsquo;s marriage advice: How to cope with Aspergers partners<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><em><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Are you living with an adult with Aspergers?&nbsp;<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The complications can affect the marital relationship directly. These difficulties mentioned above can be removed with Asperger&rsquo;s marriage advice and by taking appropriate steps.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The following are some basic Asperger&rsquo;s marriage advice you need to keep in mind in order to save your relationship with Asperger&rsquo;s.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">How to survive an Asperger marriage?<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"1-Listen-to-your-spouse\"><\/span><b>1. Listen to your spouse<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The first Asperger&rsquo;s marriage advice is to always listen to your spouse, who has Asperger syndrome.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">They just want you to <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.researchgate.net\/publication\/322722211_The_Power_of_Listening_Lending_an_Ear_to_the_Partner_During_Dyadic_Coping_Conversations\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">listen to them<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. So you must listen to whatever they want to say. Be patient and listen to them talk. Try to avoid<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/arguments-in-a-relationship\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> ugly arguments<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> as much as you can. This will help build a good relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Maintaining a good bond in a marriage calls for effective communication and to communicate means to both, talk and listen.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">According to <\/span><a class=\"editor-rtfLink\" href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/experts\/grady-shumway\" target=\"_blank\"><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">Grady Shumway<\/span><\/a><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">, LMHC:<\/span><\/p>\n<blockquote><p><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">Listening with patience and curiosity helps your partner feel understood and supported. When both people feel heard, it becomes easier to navigate differences and create a more stable, connected marriage.<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"2-Communicate\"><\/span><b>2. Communicate<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-34091 size-full\" title=\"Communicate\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/Communicate1.jpg\" alt=\"Communicate\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Living with someone who has Aspergers can make it challenging for you to communicate or have them express their feelings.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It is said, communication is the first thing to do in order to save a marriage. <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/o.b5z.net\/i\/u\/6076626\/f\/EFFECTIVE_COMMUNICATION_IN_A_MARRIAG2.pdf\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Communicate <\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">with your spouse.<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/communication\/become-a-better-listener\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> Listen to them<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> and ask questions about the things that you don&rsquo;t understand<strong>. Talk to them in a respectful manner. Don&rsquo;t ask questions in a defensive way and<\/strong><\/span><strong><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/counseling\/how-to-get-past-emotional-distance-and-end-the-endless-arguments\/\"> avoid quarrels<\/a> and arguments.<\/strong><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"3-Stay-positive\"><\/span><b>3. Stay positive<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><strong>Another Asperger&rsquo;s marriage advice is to always focus on the positive aspects of the relationship.<a href=\"https:\/\/www.hopkinsmedicine.org\/health\/wellness-and-prevention\/the-power-of-positive-thinking\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"> Think positive<\/a>. Act positively.&nbsp;<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Whatever your spouse says or does is not meant to hurt you. Focus on the positive qualities which are brought to the relationship because of that person. Focusing on negative aspects will only take you away from your spouse.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"4-Pay-attention-to-partner\"><\/span><b>4. Pay attention to partner<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">How to make someone with Aspergers happy?&nbsp;<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/therapy\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Pay attention<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> to your spouse&rsquo;s desires and needs.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Our Aspergers relationship advice is to try to do things that make your partner feel happy each day. If they like to see you caring for them so much, do care for them each day. Do whatever they like for the whole day. If they want you to help them in doing dishes, help them no matter what.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>Grady Shumway highlights that:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>Small, consistent acts of attentiveness can make your partner feel valued and secure. When you both show care in ways that matter to each other, the relationship becomes stronger and more emotionally balanced.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"5-Accept-the-differences\"><\/span><b>5. Accept the differences<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Your partner&rsquo;s routines or whatever they do the whole day is not meant to hurt you. They do this because of the condition they have.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you don&rsquo;t like their doing, it is fine. You don&rsquo;t need to like them, but Asperger&rsquo;s marriage advice is to try not to take them personally. Accept their differences and understand that they have a different way of taking care.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"6-Stay-calm\"><\/span><b>6. Stay calm<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><strong>Your spouse with Asperger&rsquo;s can appear egotistic or selfish and sometimes uncaring when indeed, it is not the sam<\/strong>e. They are not intended to hurt you.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Instead, this is the consequence of not understanding how you feel and what you need. Remembering this will relieve your worries and distress.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"7-Let-them-feel-free\"><\/span><b>7. Let them feel free<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">One of the most important Asperger&rsquo;s marriage advice is to try not to control your spouse&rsquo;s behavior. Asking them to behave correctly or according to you may result in distrust and resentment. This will help a lot in<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/5-characteristics-of-happy-couples\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> becoming a happy couple<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Follow the above rules to get better results in married life. Understand each other and eliminate negativity from your life.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"8-Therapy\"><\/span><b>8. Therapy<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Living with a person with Asperger&rsquo;s can be difficult and with therapies, you can witness some amazing results.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You can help your spouse by taking them to therapists from time to time. Some of the therapies for Asperger Syndrome include:<\/span><\/p>\n<ul><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Speech therapy for inculcating voice control<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Psychoactive medicines for depression, anxiety, and Attention Deficit &amp; Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD).<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Cognitive-behavioral therapy for personal difficulties and challenges<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Physical and occupational therapy for improved coordination<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Social skills training classes for developing communication skills and reducing social stress and anxiety<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul><p><em><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In the video below, Author and Psychologist Kathy Marshack, Ph.D., tells us all about her latest book: &ldquo;Life with a Partner or Spouse with Asperger Syndrome: Going Over the Edge?&rdquo; in which she gives steps from clinical experience that may help save relationships.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/__ITJrrxvFA\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You can also get in touch with the Aspergers marriage support group to help your partner. Not just this, there are various support groups for wives of Aspergers to provide them help and guidance of any kind.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false,"raw":""},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Thinking about how to survive your marriage with a spouse who has Asperger syndrome? Want to live a healthy and happy marriage? Before starting, remind yourself that in a happy marriage, partners can only control their own behavior and change their own selves, not their partner&rsquo;s. Asperger Syndrome &#65279; Asperger syndrome is a disorder characterized by difficulties in social interaction and non-verbal communication accompanied by restricted and repetitive patterns of behavior and interests. According to the National Institute of Neurological Disorders and Stroke (NINDS), Asperger syndrome means: Asperger syndrome (AS) is a developmental disorder.&nbsp; It is an autism spectrum disorder <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":675,"featured_media":34092,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[2502],"tags":[2601],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/34089"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/675"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=34089"}],"version-history":[{"count":9,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/34089\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":115652,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/34089\/revisions\/115652"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/34092"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=34089"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=34089"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=34089"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}