{"id":33527,"date":"2019-01-31T05:27:57","date_gmt":"2019-01-31T05:27:57","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/?p=33527"},"modified":"2023-01-31T05:27:57","modified_gmt":"2023-01-31T05:27:57","slug":"big-happy-blended-family","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/family\/big-happy-blended-family\/","title":{"rendered":"One Big Happy Blended Family Definition"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

\"One<\/p>\n

A blended family is when two people with children from their previous marriage live together with their kids. It may seem like a dream to the newly married couple to have all their loved ones live in one roof, but remember, for the children, it’s moving in with strangers.<\/span><\/p>\n

Adjusting and equally treating blended siblings can become a challenge, but like everything else in life, it is about practice and more practice. You and your spouse should set the house rules and apply it to all -including yourselves.<\/span><\/p>\n

There is no magic pill that would make the children suddenly love and accept each other. There is no set time or prior requirements that would guarantee success. Everything will have to depend on the chemistry between everyone in the household.<\/span><\/p>\n

If you follow our advice, then hopefully, when people search for the blended family definition, a picture of your family will be in the books.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>Start using family terms<\/span><\/h2>\n

Keep it simple. <\/span><\/p>\n

Asians families have a term for members of the family like <\/span>onee-chan, oppa, ate, and didi<\/span><\/a>. Introducing each other in such a way will create a familial atmosphere.<\/span><\/p>\n

Western families do not have such honorifics. It is also a bad idea to force it. Use the terms brother and sister a lot when referring to them, drop the “step.”<\/span><\/p>\n

Explain to them that they are all siblings now, and have to call and treat each other that way.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>Same standards for reward and punishment<\/span><\/h2>\n

Nothing creates sibling animosity more than favoritism. This is true even among blood relatives. <\/span><\/i><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

You and your spouse should be careful about rewarding and punishing the children.<\/span><\/p>\n

One or both parents could be away working majority of the time and would have to depend on stories told by the children to figure out the truth about the latest broken vase disaster. Do not falsely accuse anyone without proof. If you want, you can do joint responsibility for all, but singling out a child without proof will create problems down the line.<\/span><\/p>\n

Rewards are strictly meritorious. <\/span><\/p>\n

If someone did well in school, sports, or doing chores, then if the ground rules say they should be rewarded, do so. Do not overcompensate by giving the other children consolation prizes just to keep them from being jealous. Make sure the others know why a particular child is being rewarded.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>Create situations where they have to share and spend time together<\/span><\/h2>\n

It does not necessarily have to be a family picnic, it will give them an opportunity to say no and spending too much together in a car may cause problems. A home barbeque is enough. Eating cake or pizza only at the dinner table will suffice. <\/span><\/p>\n

If the activity is competitive such as video games or sports, make sure the teams are not drawn according to blood siblings.<\/span><\/p>\n

The more group activities they do, the more they learn about each other. Supervise it carefully. <\/span>Spending time together<\/span><\/a> is a double-edged sword, they might end up hating each other instead. Having a lazy child work with a bossy kid to clean the house is a formula for a fight.<\/span><\/p>\n

Know their personalities and make them appreciate each other. Over time they will learn to develop bonds on their own.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>Watch for signs of bullying<\/span><\/h2>\n

It’s sad that young kids bully each other, siblings are no exception. <\/span><\/p>\n

Step-siblings are also prone to it. A lot of things can happen when parents are not looking. It’s also impossible to watch all the time, there are parents who use CCTV cameras inside their home to watch their kids, decide if this is for you. So you are going to have to watch for signs if any of your children are being bullied by others.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>Here are some red flags to watch out for:<\/span><\/h2>\n

\"A<\/p>\n