

{"id":32042,"date":"2019-01-08T04:51:23","date_gmt":"2019-01-08T04:51:23","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/?p=32042"},"modified":"2026-02-27T11:45:17","modified_gmt":"2026-02-27T11:45:17","slug":"romance-before-sex","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/physical-intimacy\/romance-before-sex\/","title":{"rendered":"7 Steps to Build up Romance Before Sex"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-72466\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/01\/steps-to-build-up-romance-before-sex-.jpg\" alt=\"Young Adult Heterosexual Couple Lying on Bed in Bedroom\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">There are many different types of sex. There are quickies, rough, passionate, make-up, and of course, romantic sex. And why shouldn&rsquo;t sex be romantic? Being intimate with your spouse is the closest bond you will ever experience with someone else. You&rsquo;re sharing your bodies and your hearts.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Is there any way you build romance before sex without it seeming like you&rsquo;re trying to replicate a cheesy romance novel? The task may be difficult for those who aren&rsquo;t used to pouring their hearts out during intercourse.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Romance should be a vacation, not a brief stopover before sex. By building up romance before sex, you&rsquo;re improving your intimate experience with your spouse and developing a deeper connection.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>That&rsquo;s why we&rsquo;re giving you 7 of the best tips for building romance before sex.<\/b><\/h3>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"1-Build-up-emotional-intimacy\"><\/span>1. Build up emotional intimacy<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Before sex, couples want to feel passionate excitement for one another. It&rsquo;s this <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/physical-intimacy\/sexual-chemistry\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">sexual chemistry<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> that is essential for an amazing roll between the sheets. It&rsquo;s also pivotal for building up romance before sex.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Heighten emotional intimacy by <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/making-time-for-you-and-your-spouse\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">spending quality time with your spouse<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. Plan a romantic date night before you become intimate together, and<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> research indicates<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> that you will experience an increase in romantic <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/love\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">love<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, passion, and marital excitement.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"2-Take-your-time\"><\/span>2. Take your time<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">There is nothing sexy about being in a rush.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/physical-intimacy\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">A quickie<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> is fun every now and again, but you need to slow things down a little if you want to build up romance before sex. Take your time and enjoy being intimate with your partner. Hold each other, kiss and explore one another, whisper sweet nothings, cuddle, and build up to the sex itself.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Foreplay is another way you can take your time and build romance before sex. Foreplay shows your partner you desire them and enjoy spending your time pleasing them.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When you&rsquo;re lying down with your partner, don&rsquo;t hurry to cross the finish line. Instead, take it slow and enjoy the moment you&rsquo;re sharing together. This will make your experience much more romantic.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"3-Healthy-communication-is-key\"><\/span>3. Healthy communication is key<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Communication is the cornerstone of a <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/keys-to-a-healthy-marriage\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">healthy marriage<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. Couples need to be able to communicate about problems, hopes, and dreams. Talking is also how couples get to know one another better and maintain a fun and rewarding marital friendship &ndash; not to mention a great sex life!<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Studies show that couples who are able to communicate openly about sex experience higher levels of both <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/onlinelibrary.wiley.com\/doi\/full\/10.1111\/jmft.12282\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">relationship and sexual satisfaction<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Boost the romance in your relationship by <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/communication\/open-communication-in-marriage\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">practicing open and honest communication with your spouse<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. This will help build trust in each other, which will make it easier to be vulnerable and intimate before sex.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"4Set-the-mood\"><\/span>4.Set the mood<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-32045 size-full\" title=\"Set the mood\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/01\/Set-the-mood.jpg\" alt=\"Set the mood\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The simplest way to increase romance before sex is to make sure you&rsquo;re creating the right atmosphere for romance.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Research tells us that high levels of stress can have a devastating<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov\/pmc\/articles\/PMC4199300\/\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> effect on your libido<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, so watch what you talk about before becoming intimate.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Discussing finances, the kids, or any other stressful topics should be taken completely off the table. Instead, stick to compliments and whispering in your lover&rsquo;s ear.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Light candles. Fill the entire bedroom with pillar candles or some great scented ones and light them. You could also opt for string lights if you have them. This low lighting creates a sensual mood.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Music and background noise also play a big role in building romance. For example, you wouldn&rsquo;t want to hear the kids screaming and playing downstairs when you&rsquo;re trying to be intimate with your spouse. Instead, choose an evening for romance where you know you&rsquo;ll have privacy and can carry on without distraction.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Playing some jazz, a romantic playlist, or having a roaring, crackling fireplace to sit in front of is another great way to build a sensual ambiance before sex.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"5Reminisce-for-romance\"><\/span>5.Reminisce for romance<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">A study published in the<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.tandfonline.com\/doi\/abs\/10.1080\/17439760.2014.936968?src=recsys&amp;journalCode=rpos20\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> Journal of Positive Psychology<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> found that reminiscing can be therapeutic and improve your life satisfaction. Study participants who reminisced on positive memories regularly experience a reduction in symptoms of depression as well as boosted self-esteem, happiness, and overall well-being.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Reminiscing can also be an incredible turn-on and a great way to increase the romance in your marriage.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Cuddle up to your spouse and recount your favorite romantic memories. Talk about sweet gestures from the past, your wedding day, or recall some of the most romantic sexual experiences you&rsquo;ve shared together.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"6Make-eye-contact\"><\/span>6.Make eye-contact<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Eye-contact is an incredibly sexy and intimate thing to do while making love. There&rsquo;s something so vulnerable about looking your partner in the eye while being together.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Studies<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov\/pmc\/articles\/PMC4273641\/\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> reveal<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> that eye-contact has a strong connection to both love and lust. Further research says that eye-contact creates a natural self-awareness and<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov\/pmc\/articles\/PMC3150859\/\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> heightened sense of intimacy<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, so how better to build romance before sex than with a little old-fashioned eye-contact?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Whether you&rsquo;re in or outside the bedroom, you can boost marital romance by maintaining eye-contact with your spouse. Not only will this <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/intimacy\/4-tips-to-build-intimacy-in-a-marriage\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">build intimacy<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, but it shows your partner that they have your undivided attention and affection.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The video below discusses how to gauge if someone is interested in you by way of eye contact. Have a look:<\/span><\/i><br><iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/lF8HQJQAmO4\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"7-Enjoy-each-other\"><\/span>7. Enjoy each other<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Having sex should be a wonderful experience that brings you and your spouse closer together. In fact, studies show that the oxytocin released during lovemaking contributes to a boost in<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov\/15931222\/\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> spousal trust<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, lowered<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov\/9924738\/\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> anxiety<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, and<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov\/pmc\/articles\/PMC5052677\/\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> promotes bonding<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> in couples.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Sex is inherently intimate, so stop fighting against it! Think about the person you are having sex with and all the reasons why you love them. Then, use intercourse as a way to express this love. Don&rsquo;t be afraid to let your emotions spill out along the way. After all, being vulnerable with your partner is what creates true intimacy.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Building up romance before sex is a great way to enhance your emotional and physical experience during intercourse. Build sexual chemistry by having regular date nights together, work on communication, and set the mood for romance. Doing so will improve both your marriage and your sex life.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false,"raw":""},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>There are many different types of sex. There are quickies, rough, passionate, make-up, and of course, romantic sex. And why shouldn&rsquo;t sex be romantic? Being intimate with your spouse is the closest bond you will ever experience with someone else. You&rsquo;re sharing your bodies and your hearts. Is there any way you build romance before sex without it seeming like you&rsquo;re trying to replicate a cheesy romance novel? The task may be difficult for those who aren&rsquo;t used to pouring their hearts out during intercourse. Romance should be a vacation, not a brief stopover before sex. By building up romance <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":630,"featured_media":72466,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[31],"tags":[2521],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/32042"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/630"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=32042"}],"version-history":[{"count":11,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/32042\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":117543,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/32042\/revisions\/117543"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/72466"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=32042"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=32042"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=32042"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}