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All relationships will have some element of conflict at various times. But the couples who know how to use conflict to move towards a more intimate and close bond with each other know that they shouldn’t avoid conflict. <\/span><\/p>\n Instead, they view differing opinions as a way to better understand their partner’s point of view. And when you better understand your partner, you naturally increase the level of <\/span>closeness<\/span><\/a> and intimacy in your relationship. <\/span><\/p>\n Let’s look at some ways you can look at a friction-filled issue that is happening in your relationship and use that moment to build more closeness and <\/span>understanding<\/span><\/a> between you and your partner.<\/span><\/p>\n In the current world, there seems to be a growing trend of people seeking out and engaging in more conflict. It is often seen as a way to <\/span>build stronger relationships<\/span><\/a> or even just be more engaged in life. <\/span><\/p>\n Conflict intimacy in a marriage can be defined as a relationship in which both partners are comfortable expressing their negative feelings openly and honestly with each other while maintaining an open and caring relationship. Conflict intimacy is essential for a couple wanting to have healthy and fulfilling <\/span>romantic relationships<\/span><\/a>. <\/span><\/p>\n Often it is said that the cause of relationship conflict is due to one of the partners being selfish or self-centered. However, this is usually not the case. While selfishness may contribute to certain conflicts in a relationship, it usually does not pose the main issue. <\/span><\/p>\n More often than not, relationship conflicts occur as a result of one partner feeling neglected or misunderstood by the other. This can lead to feelings of insecurity and frustration in one or both partners.<\/span><\/p>\n It does not spell “doom” for the relationship. It is part of life and part of sharing a life with someone else.<\/span><\/p>\n Try the soft approach to conflict. Try to work on it before it escalates into more than it is. You and your spouse have a number of hot-ticket items, things that can quickly escalate into true fights. <\/span><\/p>\n They could be tangible tasks, like him forgetting to take the trash out to the curb on pickup day. Or they could be personality quirks, like his constant humming or always checking his phone while you are trying to have a conversation with him. <\/span><\/p>\n You can use preemptive action to ward off a large fight while at the same time increasing your <\/span><\/i>communication skills<\/span><\/i><\/a> within the couple.<\/span><\/i> <\/span><\/p>\n That’s a win-win, right? Here’s how you do it.<\/span><\/p>\n Check out the simple steps to turn conflict into intimacy:<\/span><\/p>\n These could be finances, in-laws, child-rearing, how you spend weekends, sex, alcohol or other substance abuse, lack of acknowledgment.<\/span><\/p>\n Which ones send your blood pressure soaring, and which ones could you brush off if need be?<\/span><\/p>\n How to deal with conflict in a relationship? Do you just roll your eyes, or do you jump right in and start the fight with name-calling and dredging up past ills? <\/span><\/p>\n In other words, do you do zero to ten in 2 seconds, or are you more of a slow burn?<\/span><\/p>\n Now, let’s look at your behavior when conflict presents itself. To reap the benefits of fighting constructively, it’s best to have a plan in place before fights occur. <\/span><\/p>\n Here are some ideas to help you make a general plan of “attack” for turning conflict into an opportunity for intimacy.<\/b><\/p>\n You will not be able to work through things if you aren’t clear on the nature of the problem.<\/span><\/p>\n Whose issue is it? Yours? Their’s? Shared? Usually, one person in the relationship is more attached to the issue than the other.<\/span><\/p>\n Is this a single-issue conflict or a multi-issue one? <\/span><\/p>\n Gain clarity on what is at stake and if perhaps one thing is masking another.<\/span><\/p>\n What is your main concern about this issue? How would you like to see this issue resolved? What is your spouse’s main concern? How would he like to see this issue resolved? How important is it in the grand scheme of the relationship? <\/span><\/p>\n Is it something that has an impact on the entire family, like a substance addiction, or is it just pesky forgetfulness, like forgetting to transfer the laundry from the washer to the dryer?<\/span><\/p>\n According to relationship expert <\/span>Doctor John Gottman<\/span><\/a>, 69% of <\/span>problems in a relationship<\/span><\/a> are unsolvable.<\/span><\/p>\n But don’t let that figure depress you. <\/span><\/p>\n Some issues can be resolved with a good discussion and a plan to move forward. These are usually tangible items. But others, such as personality-based issues, have no quick fix. You can still learn from those.<\/span><\/p>\n Rather than look to resolve the issues,<\/span><\/i> aim to manage them.<\/span><\/i> <\/span><\/p>\n Life lessons such as understanding, acceptance, and empathy can be called in to help you view those annoying personality traits as part of the person you love and help you come to a realization that this is who he is and these traits needn’t be a deal-breaker. <\/span><\/p>\n Also watch:<\/i><\/b> What Is a Relationship Conflict?<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<\/span>What is conflict intimacy?<\/b><\/span><\/h2>\n
<\/span>What causes relationship conflict?<\/b><\/span><\/h2>\n
<\/span>Recognize that conflict in romantic relationships is inevitable<\/b><\/span><\/h2>\n
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<\/p>\n<\/span>6 simple steps through conflict to intimacy<\/b><\/span><\/h2>\n
1. Identify the recurrent issues<\/b><\/h3>\n
Related Reading: <\/i><\/b>20 Tips to Deal With Unresolved Issues in a Relationship<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/pre>\n
2. Rank them according to the seriousness<\/b><\/h3>\n
3. Break down how you react to these issues<\/b><\/h3>\n
4. Identify what the exact issue is<\/b><\/h3>\n
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<\/p>\n5. Ask yourself if the issue can be resolved<\/b><\/h3>\n