

{"id":25764,"date":"2018-07-20T11:22:31","date_gmt":"2018-07-20T11:22:31","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/?p=25764"},"modified":"2026-03-19T10:25:13","modified_gmt":"2026-03-19T10:25:13","slug":"divorce-counseling-questions","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/divorce\/divorce-counseling-questions\/","title":{"rendered":"8 Divorce Counseling Questions to Ask Before Parting Ways"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-25766 size-full\" title=\"Divorce Counseling Questions to Ask Before Parting Ways\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/07\/Divorce-Counseling-Questions-to-Ask-Before-Parting-Ways.jpg\" alt=\"Divorce Counseling Questions to Ask Before Parting Ways\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Divorce is a challenging experience for any couple.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">But many couples head for divorce before they have taken time to ask themselves some common divorce <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/counseling\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">counseling<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> questions which can leave them reeling when they realize that they might have had a chance to make things work.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It is possible if you were able to sit down and ask each other the following <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/counseling\/divorce-counseling-what-it-is-and-what-good-does-it-do\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">divorce counseling<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> questions, that you might find a way to reunite happily or find some middle ground that you can work on with the intention of re-creating what you once had?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>Before you get started with the questions to ask before divorce, make sure you have a pen and paper handy so that you can jot down important notes, and hopefully make a plan to come back together.<\/b><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Remember to remain calm, blame-free, objective, and practice patience with each other.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Here are some of the divorce counseling questions you should be discussing with your spouse today, especially if divorce is potentially on the cards for you.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Q1-What-are-the-main-issues-we-have-together\"><\/span>Q1: What are the main issues we have together?<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This is one of the most important divorce counseling questions to ask before getting a divorce.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Things that matter the most to you might seem insignificant to your spouse and vice versa. When you are in divorce counseling, the questions that are asked can highlight the potential <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/divorce\/10-most-common-reasons-for-divorce\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">conflict trigger points<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>Also watch:&nbsp;How to discuss relationship problems without fighting with your partner<\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"YouTube video player\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/4UAg4Axhg6g\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><span data-mce-type=\"bookmark\" style=\"display: inline-block; width: 0px; overflow: hidden; line-height: 0;\" class=\"mce_SELRES_start\">&#65279;<\/span><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><strong>If you both honestly express your answers to this question then you have created the opportunity for you to make a plan to fix the issues.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You might not know the answers to all of your problems right away.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you can&rsquo;t find an immediate answer, sleep on this question and return back to it when you have a clearer perspective, or seek advice on how to solve your particular problem.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Q2-What-are-the-most-critical-issues-we-need-to-address\"><\/span>Q2: What are the most critical issues we need to address?<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This is not just one of the questions to ask yourself before a divorce, it is also one of the questions to ask your spouse before the divorce.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov\/pmc\/articles\/PMC4852543\/\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Communicating about your issues in a marriage<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> is the step towards resolving those issues.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Since you are conducting the discussion and are with a <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/experts\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">therapist<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, allow your spouse to tell you what they think are the most important issues that you need to address first. Then add any issues to the list that you feel are important.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>Try to reach an agreement on how you prioritize your list and continue to try to come up with ideas that can resolve the issue.<\/b><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Q3-Do-you-want-to-divorce\"><\/span>Q3: Do you want to divorce?<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-50782\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/07\/Do-you-want-to-divorce.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Are you concerned that your <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">relationship<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> has found its final destination in the big &lsquo;D&rsquo; word? Find out by popping the question.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you or your spouse gives a definite &lsquo;yes&rsquo; and they still feel that way after you&rsquo;ve finished going through the divorce counseling questions, then it&rsquo;s time to give up.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">But if there&rsquo;s some hope that you could <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/separation\/is-marriage-reconciliation-possible-after-separation\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">reconcile your marriage<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, it is time for you to seek out some professional counseling to help you fix something so important.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Q4-Is-this-just-a-bad-phase\"><\/span>Q4: Is this just a bad phase?<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Look through the questions you&rsquo;ve already asked together and assess how many of the problems are new, and potentially part of a phase, and how many are long-term problems that can be worked on.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It is essential to see this clarification because at times issues from your social or <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.wsj.com\/articles\/SB975451116883773546\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">work life can creep into your relationship<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> and create more tension between you and your partner.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Q5-How-do-you-honestly-feel-about-the-marriage\"><\/span>Q5: How do you honestly feel about the marriage?<img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-25769 size-full\" style=\"font-size: 16px;\" title=\"How do you honestly feel about the marriage?\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/07\/How-do-you-honestly-feel-about-the-marriage.jpg\" alt=\"How do you honestly feel about the marriage?\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This is a tough question to ask about divorce to ask, and to hear the answer too, especially if you are emotionally invested. But if you don&rsquo;t ask, you&rsquo;ll never know.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>Ask your spouse how they honestly feel about the marriage, and then answer this question yourself too. As honestly as possible.<\/b><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you still have love and respect for each other, then there&rsquo;s some hope for your relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Q6-What-annoys-you-the-most-about-me\"><\/span>Q6: What annoys you the most about me?<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Some seemingly small things to one spouse might build up into a big deal for the other spouse. And significant issues may not be easily laid to rest, such as a <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/physical-intimacy\/lack-of-intimacy-living-in-a-sexless-marriage\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">lack of <\/span><\/a><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">intimacy<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, respect, or trust.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>By asking these types of questions you can find out what your spouse might like to change.<\/b><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When you know what&rsquo;s bothering each other, you can find a way to fix the issues.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Q-7-Do-you-still-love-me-If-yes-what-kind-of-love-do-you-feel\"><\/span>Q 7: Do you still love me? If yes, what kind of love do you feel?<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/hot-romantic-text-messages\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Romantic love<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> is one thing, but in a long marriage, you can move in and out of that type of love. If there is no love there at all, and your partner has stopped caring, then there is probably going to be a problem in your marriage.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>But if the love still runs deep even if it&rsquo;s not quite as romantic as it once was, then there&rsquo;s still some hope for your marriage.<\/b><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Q8-Do-you-trust-me\"><\/span>Q8: Do you trust me?<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Trust is critical in a relationship, and if it has been sabotaged in some way, then it&rsquo;s not surprising that you are considering these divorce counseling questions.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">However, all is not lost.<\/span> <b>If both spouses are committed to making changes, it is possible to rebuild the trust in the relationship.<\/b><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It has to start with both spouses being honest about how they really feel. If they don&rsquo;t trust you, then it&rsquo;s time to start asking what you can do to rebuild the trust &ndash; or vice versa.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">These &lsquo;questions to ask when getting a divorce&rsquo; will be able to help you to come to a decision about divorce. All these questions are aimed at making couples communicate with each other.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Answering these questions honestly would make both of you ace your fears and understand what each of you truly wants.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">However, despite reading on things to ask for in a divorce, if you are not able to make out if you really want a divorce or not, and yes, when to ask for a divorce, then you must seek help from an actual counselor.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false,"raw":""},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Divorce is a challenging experience for any couple. But many couples head for divorce before they have taken time to ask themselves some common divorce counseling questions which can leave them reeling when they realize that they might have had a chance to make things work. It is possible if you were able to sit down and ask each other the following divorce counseling questions, that you might find a way to reunite happily or find some middle ground that you can work on with the intention of re-creating what you once had? Before you get started with the questions <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":630,"featured_media":25766,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[15],"tags":[2670],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/25764"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/630"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=25764"}],"version-history":[{"count":11,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/25764\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":118499,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/25764\/revisions\/118499"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/25766"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=25764"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=25764"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=25764"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}