{"id":23006,"date":"2018-04-11T10:52:17","date_gmt":"2018-04-11T10:52:17","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/?p=23006"},"modified":"2026-02-27T11:08:34","modified_gmt":"2026-02-27T11:08:34","slug":"signs-of-an-abusive-wife","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/domestic-violence-and-abuse\/signs-of-an-abusive-wife\/","title":{"rendered":"13 Signs You Have an Abusive Wife and How to Deal With Her"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

\"Young<\/p>\n

Men are not the only ones who can be abusive in a<\/span> relationship<\/span><\/a>. As lesser known as it might be, women can be abusive too.<\/span><\/p>\n

Also, due to the general lack of awareness regarding the abuse men face, they don’t even realize they’re dealing with an abusive wife. The signs of an abusive woman can often be so subtle that men may not realize they are at the receiving end.<\/span><\/p>\n

Find out if you, or someone you know, is a victim of an abusive wife by going through the list below. Advice on how to deal with an abusive wife has also been discussed.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>13 signs of an abusive wife<\/b><\/span><\/h2>\n

Abuse can occur in any type of relationship, including marriages. It’s important to understand who is an abusive woman and recognize the signs of an abusive wife to protect yourself or seek help.<\/span><\/p>\n

Abuse can be physical, emotional, psychological, or even financial. Here are 13 signs of an abusive wife<\/span><\/p>\n

1. Controlling behavior<\/b><\/h3>\n

Abusive wives have controlling behavior<\/span><\/a>. She will control who you hang out with, where you go, where you work, what you do with your paycheck, what you wear, and how often you talk to<\/span> family<\/span><\/a> or friends.<\/span><\/p>\n

The abuser will try to control you by utilizing<\/span> non-verbal communication<\/span><\/a>. She may refuse to talk to you, ignore you, stop being intimate with you, or even sulk until she gets her way. She is also an ace at controlling discussions.<\/span><\/p>\n

RELATED READING : <\/span>25 Signs You’re in a Controlling Relationship<\/a><\/span><\/div><\/div>\n

2. Verbal abuse<\/b><\/h3>\n

If you believe you are always (metaphorically speaking) walking on eggshells, this is most likely an indication of abuse. You may have a verbally abusive wife if she shouts, yells, or blows a gasket over little things. <\/span><\/p>\n

Such an abusive woman may debilitate you, constantly criticize you, and often reject your sentiments.<\/span><\/p>\n

My wife is abusive. What should I do? If things have escalated to this level that you are wondering about the answer to this question, then it’s time you took matters into your own hands and<\/span> set boundaries<\/span><\/a> to mend the relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n

RELATED READING : <\/span>What Is Verbal Abuse: How to Recognize and Avoid Verbal Beatings<\/a><\/span><\/div><\/div>\n

3. Violence<\/b><\/h3>\n

If your significant other is rough and violent, either when it comes to you or the people around you, you are in an oppressive relationship. <\/span><\/p>\n

If she punches, hits, and slaps you, these are clear<\/span> signs the relationship isn’t sound<\/span><\/a>, and you are with one of the abusive women out there.<\/span><\/p>\n

She may, likewise, try to kick animals, punch walls, or toss things at you when she does not get her way.<\/span><\/p>\n

RELATED READING : <\/span>What Is Domestic Violence?<\/a><\/span><\/div><\/div>\n

4. Extreme jealousy<\/b><\/h3>\n

You may wonder, “Is my wife abusive?” if she shows extreme signs of jealousy.<\/span><\/p>\n

Most abusive wives are envious. They might demonstrate a bad mood as soon as they see you talking with someone else. Of course, spouses do tend to get jealous when they see their significant others interact with other people. <\/span><\/p>\n

However, in this case,  jealousy is a bit different. Your abusive wife will even grow jealous if you’re paying too much attention to your siblings or parents.<\/span><\/p>\n

RELATED QUIZ : <\/span> Is My Wife Abusive Quiz?<\/a><\/span><\/div><\/div>\n

5. Unreasonable reactions<\/b><\/h3>\n

Another prominent sign of your wife being abusive is her having nonsensical reactions. When you commit an error, you feel there is nothing you can do to make it up to her. <\/span><\/p>\n

She won’t pardon you for your activities, regardless of how minute the mistake was or how much you plead her for<\/span> forgiveness<\/span><\/a>.<\/span><\/p>\n

RELATED READING : <\/span>4 Types of Domestic Violence & How to Recognize Them<\/a><\/span><\/div><\/div>\n

\"You<\/p>\n

6. Isolation<\/b><\/h3>\n

Oppressive spouses, including an emotionally abusive wife, need you all to themselves.<\/span><\/p>\n

According to Licensed Mental Health Counselor <\/span>Kristen K. Scarlett<\/span><\/a>:<\/span><\/p>\n

Gaslighting, shame, and fear all act as obstacles to leaving an abusive relationship, but I believe it’s the isolation that is the biggest challenge. Isolation can distort the victim’s perception of reality. When all you hear is lies, it becomes hard to trust anyone, including yourself. <\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

They don’t need you to invest energy with colleagues, family, or companions. She would rather prefer you to be miserable and all by yourself. She doesn’t need you hanging out with other individuals for fear that they may identify the abuse.<\/span><\/p>\n

RELATED READING : <\/span>6 Reasons of Spousal Abuse In A Marriage<\/a><\/span><\/div><\/div>\n

7. Instills fear<\/b><\/h3>\n

Does your wife place you in circumstances that might make you fear for your life or safety? When a wife is abusive to her husband, she may try to create a fearful environment around him.<\/span><\/p>\n

If there are instances where she tries to threaten you, makes you feel frightened, controls and manipulates you to the point where you begin dreading her and are scared,<\/span> you are clearly in an abusive relationship<\/span><\/a>.<\/span><\/p>\n

RELATED READING : <\/span>How to Deal With an Abusive Husband?<\/a><\/span><\/div><\/div>\n

8. Blames everyone else<\/b><\/h3>\n

She finds ways to accuse others; she assumes no liability for what she has done or said and will blame everybody for anything that turns out badly. She will dependably figure out how to point the finger at you.<\/span><\/p>\n

On the off chance that you have never heard your wife apologize for anything and she is always<\/span> playing the blame game<\/span><\/a>, you might be in an abusive relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n

RELATED READING : <\/span>Why Blaming Your Partner Won\u2019t Help<\/a><\/span><\/div><\/div>\n

\"She<\/p>\n

9. Gaslighting<\/b><\/h3>\n

Do you feel “My wife abuses me by constant manipulation of facts?” <\/span><\/p>\n

Gaslighting<\/span><\/a> is the manipulative conduct used to confuse individuals into thinking their responses are so far from what’s normal that they’re insane. <\/span><\/p>\n

The abusive wife tells the husband he is crazy or it’s just in his head. Such husbands are often left wondering whether this behavior means that they must correct themselves or their wife is abusive enough to skirt the issue by playing a blame game.<\/span><\/p>\n

10. Inability to handle criticism<\/b><\/h3>\n

She can’t deal with feedback, regardless of how sincere it is. You can’t give useful feedback without backfiring. She sees everything as negative feedback and feels very insulted and attacked. <\/span><\/p>\n

In any case, she is more than ready to criticize, often in an insulting way, the moment you try to say something to her.<\/span><\/p>\n

RELATED READING : <\/span>How to Fix an Abusive Relationship<\/a><\/span><\/div><\/div>\n

11. Damage to property<\/b><\/h3>\n

Imagine coming home after a long day at work, and your wife is furious about something. In her anger, she doesn’t just yell or scream but takes it a step further. She starts smashing your favorite possessions, things that hold sentimental value to you. <\/span><\/p>\n

She might destroy your cherished childhood photos, valuable heirlooms, or even your personal belongings. This isn’t just a one-time occurrence but a pattern where she intentionally damages your property as a way of exerting power and control over you.<\/span><\/p>\n

12. Stalking<\/b><\/h3>\n

Stalking can be a deeply unsettling and intrusive experience. Your wife might exhibit behaviors that feel like constant surveillance, making you feel like your privacy is completely invaded. For example, she could start following you wherever you go, showing up at your workplace, or tracking your online activity relentlessly.<\/span><\/p>\n

13. Withholding affection<\/b><\/h3>\n

Picture a situation where you long for emotional closeness and intimacy with your wife, but she consistently denies it. It’s not just a matter of a bad day or two where she might be upset, but a pattern of behavior. <\/span><\/p>\n

She withholds affection, both physical and emotional, as a way of controlling you.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>How to deal with an abusive wife: 9 ways<\/b><\/span><\/h2>\n

Dealing with an abusive wife can be a complex and challenging situation. It’s important to prioritize your safety and well-being. <\/span><\/p>\n

Here are 9 practical and relatable ways to approach this difficult situation<\/span><\/p>\n