{"id":21186,"date":"2018-01-25T10:07:50","date_gmt":"2018-01-25T10:07:50","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/?p=21186"},"modified":"2023-02-06T04:47:18","modified_gmt":"2023-02-06T04:47:18","slug":"surviving-physical-and-emotional-abuse","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/domestic-violence-and-abuse\/surviving-physical-and-emotional-abuse\/","title":{"rendered":"5 Tips to Deal Physical and Emotional Abuse in a Relationship"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

\"There<\/p>\n

Behind closed doors, a seemingly loving couple may hide a dark secret that no one, even the closest of their relatives, knows.<\/span><\/p>\n

Abuse victims mostly remain mum about it. Abuse comes in many forms and we can categorize it as physical and emotional.<\/span><\/p>\n

Both physical and emotional abuse comes with serious and sometimes lifelong consequences for the victim. And although it is quite common for a person to suffer emotional abuse alone, there are almost no cases of purely physical abuse.<\/span><\/p>\n

It is accompanied by a range of emotionally abusive behaviors, making the victim’s life a living hell. How can a victim deal with physical and emotional abuse? Is it possible to move past the <\/span>trauma<\/span><\/a> and pain caused by loving an abusive partner?<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>What is the definition of emotional abuse?<\/b><\/span><\/h2>\n

Before we learn what is emotional abuse’s impact, let’s define emotional abuse first. <\/span><\/p>\n

This form of abuse focuses on the emotional aspect of the victim and includes behaviors that aim to manipulate another’s emotions.<\/span><\/p>\n

Emotional abuse focuses on stripping the victim of self-love and happiness. The abuser can also turn the victim’s emotions against them, often blaming them for their misery.<\/span><\/p>\n

Emotional abuse meaning is when the abuser withholds love and affection until they get what they want from the victims. Learn more about emotional abuse<\/span> here<\/span><\/a>.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>What is the definition of physical abuse?<\/b><\/span><\/h2>\n

Physical abuse definition, in any form, is a behavior that has a deliberate intention of causing physical harm. What does this mean?<\/span><\/p>\n

Many of us think of physical abuse through the images of a person being heavily beaten, punched and thrown around against a wall. Although this, unfortunately, also happens too often, physical abuse is much more than just that.<\/span><\/p>\n

Any form of unwanted physical contact, when aggressive and meant to cause you pain and humiliation, can be considered physical abuse, especially when it is repeated often.<\/span><\/p>\n

For example, apart from using weapons, beating, hitting, and kicking, pushing or pulling someone to go somewhere or not to leave is also physical abuse.<\/span><\/p>\n

That is also physically abusive behavior if someone grabs your clothing or holds your face to force you to look at them. Or throwing something at you, whether they hit or miss, is, as well, a form of an abusive act. You can learn more about physical abuse meaning<\/span> here<\/span><\/a>.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>What is the difference between emotional and physical abuse?<\/b><\/span><\/h2>\n

What is the difference between physical abuse vs. emotional abuse, and which is worse?<\/span><\/p>\n

Mental, physical, and emotional abuses are all destructive. It’s hard to pinpoint the worst because they can all harm a person.<\/span><\/p>\n

We can immediately notice physical abuse not unless the abuser hides their victim from other people. We could see bruises, burn marks and scars.<\/span><\/p>\n

Sometimes, physical deformity caused by physical torture can also be visible. There are also unexplained physical signs, such as broken bones, ribs, or even injuries, such as internal bleeding and scarring.<\/span><\/p>\n

Emotional abuse, commonly, wouldn’t show any physical signs. Most often, in front of other people, they could be a <\/span>happy couple<\/span><\/a>. However, inside their home, mental and emotional torture is prevalent.<\/span><\/p>\n

You may know the psychological vs. emotional abuse terms, but many victims share both. The abuser may not cause physical pain but inflict emotional and psychological abuse.<\/span><\/p>\n

Unfortunately, emotional abuse often goes unnoticed for many years, and the victim can no longer break free from the abuser. The abuser may only show because of the extreme signs of mental trauma.<\/span><\/p>\n

Note:<\/b><\/p>\n

A victim may experience both physical and mental abuse by the same abuser. Some abusers may start with emotional abuse and become satisfied with physical abuse later.<\/span><\/p>\n

Soon, the victim will no longer know the sense of reality, the feeling of happiness, and even their self-worth.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>5 signs of emotional abuse<\/b><\/span><\/h2>\n

Physical abuse is fairly easy to detect. On the other hand, emotional abuse is a much subtler form of abusive behavior. For example, it can (and often does) get disregarded and dismissed as merely a more temperamental relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n

Nonetheless, emotional abuse can sometimes leave even deeper scarring on one’s soul than physical abuse does.<\/span><\/p>\n

In many cases, the victim and the abuser might not be fully aware of what is happening in their interaction, especially if it occurs in a parent-child relationship. There are so many nuances in human contact that it can be difficult to draw the line between emotional abuse and normal, sometimes angry, reactions.<\/span><\/p>\n

Nonetheless, unlike non-abusive emotional outbursts, which normally happen, abuse involves a pattern of regular demeaning, brainwashing, bullying, insulting, and similar behavior.<\/span><\/p>\n

It is also shaming, manipulation, intimidation, and gradually undermining the victim’s confidence and self-worth. The perpetrator attempts to control, dominate and have absolute authority in the relationship and absolute submission by the victim.<\/span><\/p>\n

\"Physical<\/p>\n

Here are just five signs of emotional abuse:<\/span><\/p>\n

1. Making demands that are impossible to do<\/b><\/h3>\n

An emotional abuser would always make demands they know you won’t be able to comply. They do this for fun and to see you get nervous and scared of their anger once you admit failure.<\/span><\/p>\n

For example, asking you to come home in five minutes even though your partner knows you’re at work and it takes at least 15 minutes to drive home.<\/span><\/p>\n

2. Invalidates your feelings<\/b><\/h3>\n

In a relationship, a couple should <\/span>respect<\/span><\/a> one another, including their opinions and feelings. This is not present in an emotionally abusive relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n

Most of the time, you may feel you’re not allowed to talk, give your opinions, or even share what you feel because this will only lead to your abuser shaming you and invalidating your feelings.<\/span><\/p>\n

3. Wants to create chaos in the relationship<\/b><\/h3>\n

Out of nowhere, your partner finds something to hate about you. It could be undercooked food, dirty laundry, or even your look.<\/span><\/p>\n

For an emotionally abusive partner, part of manipulation is creating chaos and seeing how it negatively affects you. It gives the abuser <\/span>satisfaction<\/span><\/a>.<\/span><\/p>\n

4. Often uses emotional blackmail<\/b><\/h3>\n

Emotional blackmail<\/span><\/a> is always present in this type of abuse. The abuser would often withhold love, affection, and even attention depending on how they perform and comply with their needs and wants.<\/span><\/p>\n

In the end, seeing you beg and work hard for love gives them satisfaction while destroying you.<\/span><\/p>\n

Blackmail is also common if a person has NPD or Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Do you suspect that your partner or someone you know has NPD? <\/span><\/p>\n

Kati Morton shares the eight obvious signs.<\/span><\/p>\n