

{"id":2114,"date":"2015-09-22T04:09:30","date_gmt":"2015-09-22T04:09:30","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/?p=2114"},"modified":"2024-10-16T06:16:21","modified_gmt":"2024-10-16T06:16:21","slug":"how-a-lack-of-physical-intimacy-can-hurt-your-marriage","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/physical-intimacy\/how-a-lack-of-physical-intimacy-can-hurt-your-marriage\/","title":{"rendered":"How a Lack of Physical Intimacy Can Hurt Your Marriage"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"wp-image-2124 size-full alignnone\" src=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/09\/lack-of-phycl-intimacy.jpg\" alt=\"Upset Depressed Couple Side View Women Behind Of Man Closeup Face Shot\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Do you know approximately 20% of married couples fall under the category of a <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.comhs.org\/about-us\/newsroom\/health-library\/2016\/01\/20\/the-sex-starved-marriage\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">sexless marriage<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">?&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yes! <\/span><b>Lack of physical intimacy is real<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, and some couples struggle to bring back the lost passion into their lives.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>Physical intimacy<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> is just as <\/span><b>important for intimate relationships<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, married or otherwise. Physical intimacy interweaves with verbal intimacy and affection.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/garybrowntherapy.com\/physical-touch-important-relationships\/\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Experts<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> say that physical affection or physical intimacy through hugging, kissing, and touching is just as crucial in the development of relationship bonds as talking <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/communication\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">communication<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. This is the reason why many couples struggle if they feel that there is a lack of physical intimacy in their marriage.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">A<\/span><b> relationship needs intimacy<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> to survive, and a lack of affection and intimacy in a relationship can eventually break the bond between the partners and push the connection to the point of no return.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you fail to<\/span><b> establish<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> that <\/span><b>connection with your partner<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, be it emotionally or physically, you cannot expect to enjoy a lasting happy relationship with your partner.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"What-constitutes-a-lack-of-intimacy-in-marriage\"><\/span>What constitutes a lack of intimacy in marriage?<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"YouTube video player\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/54QrOx2BdwE?si=J58W1d_1GXGyDvE2\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><span data-mce-type=\"bookmark\" style=\"display: inline-block; width: 0px; overflow: hidden; line-height: 0;\" class=\"mce_SELRES_start\">&#65279;<\/span><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Few may argue on the point that <\/span><b>sex is not the heart<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> and soul of a <\/span><b>marriage <\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">or a <\/span><b>romantic relationship<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. But, a loss of intimacy or lack of physical intimacy can be the root cause of many future problems if left unaddressed.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">But before delving further into understanding what causes a lack of intimacy, it is important to understand what is physical affection in a relationship and what constitutes physical intimacy.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p>What do you understand by the term &lsquo;physical affection&rsquo;?<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Physical affection differs a bit from physical intimacy. According to the researchers at <a href=\"https:\/\/www.researchgate.net\/publication\/8141268_Seven_Types_of_Nonsexual_Romantic_Physical_Affection_among_Brigham_Young_University_Students\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\">Brigham Young University<\/a>, Utah, physical affection is best defined as &ldquo;any touch intended to arouse feelings of love in the giver and\/or recipient&rdquo;. It includes the following gestures:<\/span><\/p>\n<ul><li>Backrubs or massages<\/li>\n<li>Caressing or stroking<\/li>\n<li>Cuddling<\/li>\n<li>Holding hands<\/li>\n<li>Hugging<\/li>\n<li>Kissing on the face<\/li>\n<li>Kissing on the lips<\/li>\n<\/ul><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Physical intimacy, on the other hand, is sensual proximity or touching and it also includes the three-letter word called &lsquo;Sex.&rsquo;&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">There are different <\/span><b>types of physical intimacy<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, which can include more overt <a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/romantic-gestures-for-him\/\">romantic physical gestures<\/a> to smaller physical gestures.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">For example, cuddling, kissing, holding hands, massaging, a gentle squeeze on the shoulder, or stroking an arm are few such gestures that invoke physical intimacy in marriage.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p>These gestures can be categorized into experiential, emotional, intellectual, and sexual types.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">One of the reasons that even experts struggle with addressing<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/physical-intimacy\/things-to-consider-when-there-are-physical-intimacy-issues-in-a-marriage\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> physical intimacy issues in a relationship<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> is that <\/span><b>everyone<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> has their <\/span><b>own comfort level<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, as well as personal likes and dislikes when it comes to physical intimacy.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">For example, some people may feel comfortable kissing in public, while others would consider it awkward and embarrassing.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In this case, the partner who wants to kiss in public may feel that the lack of kissing in public areas would constitute a lack of physical intimacy, while the partner who considers it undesirable would not.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Most relationship experts agree that a lack of physical intimacy occurs when at least one partner feels that their attempts at physical affection and intimate behaviors are not being reciprocated. With time, this lack of physical intimacy or constant negligence from the unwilling partner causes a rift in the<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> relationship<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Referring to the above example, if the second partner does not want to engage in any acts of physical intimacy, even those in private, it will likely be considered as a genuine lack of physical intimacy.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">But, the question here is whether a lack of physical affection damages the relationship or not?<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"How-can-a-lack-of-physical-intimacy-hurt-a-marriage\"><\/span>How can a lack of physical intimacy hurt a marriage?<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">As has been previously mentioned, physical intimacy is essential in forming and strengthening personal relationships between two people.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">People need physical affection.&nbsp;<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/experts\/dionne-reid\">Dionne Eleanor<\/a>, transformational mentor &amp; therapist, explains, <\/span><\/p>\n<blockquote><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Often people enter into relational discord and disconnect simply because their physical intimacy &amp; affection needs are met the way they desire.<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/emotional-intimacy\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Intimacy in a marriage<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> is typically expected to be closer and even more frequent than intimacy before marriage since the <\/span><b>commitment of marriage<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> has <\/span><b>brought<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> the <\/span><b>two partners together<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> in a ceremonial and legal bond.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">&nbsp;Therefore, most married people have the expectation of activities like hugging, cuddling, kissing, and so on.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When there is a lack of physical intimacy in a marriage, it is easy to feel like the <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/love\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">love<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> may be going out of your relationship, or that you are not physically attracted to your partner, or that your partner no longer cares about you in the way they did before.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>With physical intimacy being one of the ways for a partner to communicate feelings, its absence can cause a void that can create a barrier over time.<\/p>\n<p>Over time, it can make the partners experience abandonment issues. This can begin a cycle where the abandoned partner can start distancing themselves in turn. Sexual desires and a need for affection and closeness can start to diminish, which does not bode well for the relationship.<\/p>\n<p>There are many <a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/physical-intimacy\/10-reasons-to-have-sex-frequently-with-your-spouse\/#6_Get_regular_periods_and_erase_cramps\">health benefits of sex and intimacy<\/a> and a lack of such activities can affect libido, heart health as well as mental health. In fact, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.europeanurology.com\/article\/S0302-2838(16)00377-8\/abstract\/ejaculation-frequency-and-risk-of-prostate-cancer-updated-results-with-an-additional-decade-of-follow-up\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\">studies<\/a> show that lower ejaculation frequencies are related to a heightened risk of prostate cancer. Women also experience several benefits of sex, such as better&nbsp;bladder function and lower levels of distress.<\/p>\n<p>At the same time, sex is not the only factor in intimacy. As long as a marital relationship has partners who are intimate, affectionate, and close to each other at various other levels, the relationship is not doomed.<\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-21370 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/Lack-of-Emotional-Intimacy-Causes.jpg\" alt=\"Upset Men And Women Lying Back To Back On Bed Under Blanket Ruin In Relation Concept\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Five-signs-of-no-intimacy-in-a-relationship\"><\/span>Five signs of no intimacy in a relationship<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">A lack of physical intimacy in a relationship is not something you get to read or see in films; they are real. But some <\/span><b>couples tend to ignore<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> the<\/span><b> red flags<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">They live and continue with their lives without realizing that their marriage is falling apart until it&rsquo;s too late.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Let&rsquo;s explore the following signs to understand if you are one of those who suffer from the lack of affection in marriage.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>1. You don&rsquo;t touch too much<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Relationship expert <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.platinumpoire.com\/\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Rori Sassoon<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> says, &ldquo;<\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Emotional intimacy is the foundation for physical intimacy,&rdquo; &ldquo;When you&rsquo;re emotionally connected, you&rsquo;re physically connected, and it makes your physical connection better!&rdquo;&nbsp;<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If that <\/span><b>basic touch is absent<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, then your relationship is not only suffering from a lack of physical intimacy, but you are not connected on an emotional level as well.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">That&rsquo;s quite a red flag! You need to open up more as a couple.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>2. You feel distant<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The lack of physical intimacy is pretty common nowadays. But if partners fail to connect emotionally, then there is a major problem that needs your attention, ASAP!<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The common feelings of being isolated or <\/span><b>disconnected from your partner<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> are <\/span><b>signs<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> of a <\/span><b>lack of emotional intimacy.<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> And, when emotion is absent, couples will hardly experience that physical connectedness with one another.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When there is no affection in marriage, there is hardly any future for that relationship at all.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>3.&nbsp;<\/b><b>Bickering increases<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What is bickering? Well! This is nothing but a sign that shows two immature people reacting to one another. Usually, these bickerings end up in major conflicts if both the partners are unwilling to understand the other&rsquo;s point of view.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If the partners fail to connect with each other, both physically and emotionally, this bickering will become a regular thing in your life. Lack of physical intimacy in marriage is responsible for keeping the partners emotionally separated.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>Bickering happens<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> when you <\/span><b>both are emotionally not connected<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> and show less interest in understanding your partner.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>4. Absence of playfulness and humor <\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Is your relationship lacking all the spark, passion, playfulness, and humor as it used to be once? If the answer is &lsquo;Yes,&rsquo; then you are standing on the brink of disaster.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">One of you will soon lose your patience, and the unsatiated hunger for passion and aliveness will drive your relationship to the point of a significant crisis.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>5. None of you encourage physical proximity<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">There are times when sex takes a back seat, especially during <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/pregnancy\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">pregnancy<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> or when there are infants to take care of. Such a <\/span><b>dry spell in marriage<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> can have two entirely different outcomes.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Either<\/span><b> couple<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> can <\/span><b>get habituated<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> to this <\/span><b>momentary dry spell<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> or <\/span><b>feel<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> completely <\/span><b>disconnected<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, which eventually leads to <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/infidelity\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">infidelity<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> and marriage <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/separation\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">separation<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> in the long run.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>Also Watch:<\/b><\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/mfRXw_q99R0\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\"><span data-mce-type=\"bookmark\" style=\"display: inline-block; width: 0px; overflow: hidden; line-height: 0;\" class=\"mce_SELRES_start\">&#65279;<\/span><\/iframe><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"What-can-be-done-to-improve-physical-intimacy\"><\/span>What can be done to improve physical intimacy?<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-72497\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/09\/what-can-be-done-to-improve-physical-intimacy.jpg\" alt=\"Couple Relaxing in Bed Wearing Pajamas\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It is <\/span><b>not always easy<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> to <\/span><b>fix the issue<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> of a lack of physical intimacy &mdash; but it can be done in most cases.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The key to resolving intimacy issues is to take things slow and not rushing into pressurizing your partner into understanding everything at the pace you want to.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Dionne Eleanor <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">recommends<\/span><\/p>\n<blockquote><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Couples should explore creating dates where intimacy is openly discussed and practiced without expectation. She says many people focus on a climax and orgasm, rather than the joy of the moment, and its important to change this to reignite the intimacy spark.<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>Another great thing to do is empathizing with the partner and being open to their idea of intimacy and affection. Find out what your partner likes and doesn&rsquo;t like in terms of physical intimacy, and encouraging physical closeness in non-romantic ways, such as simply holding hands, sitting next to each other while watching films, taking walks together, and so on.<\/p>\n<p>If nothing seems to work and you can feel that the relationship is suffering because of this, don&rsquo;t hesitate to seek professional help by talking to a marriage counselor or sex therapist who can elevate your understanding of the situation and guide you on how to work on your love languages to improve intimacy.<\/p>\n<p>What matters at the end of the day is that your marriage is healthy and happy. Whether both of you make it work by yourselves or get some external help to enhance intimacy in your marriage, it does not matter as long as you give your relationship the extra care to make things work <span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">that it needs<\/span>.<\/p>\n","protected":false,"raw":""},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Do you know approximately 20% of married couples fall under the category of a sexless marriage?&nbsp; Yes! Lack of physical intimacy is real, and some couples struggle to bring back the lost passion into their lives. Physical intimacy is just as important for intimate relationships, married or otherwise. Physical intimacy interweaves with verbal intimacy and affection.&nbsp; Experts say that physical affection or physical intimacy through hugging, kissing, and touching is just as crucial in the development of relationship bonds as talking communication. This is the reason why many couples struggle if they feel that there is a lack of physical <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":7,"featured_media":2124,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[31],"tags":[2521],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2114"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/7"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2114"}],"version-history":[{"count":22,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2114\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":105087,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2114\/revisions\/105087"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2124"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2114"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2114"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2114"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}