

{"id":19376,"date":"2017-12-07T12:50:38","date_gmt":"2017-12-07T12:50:38","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/?p=19376"},"modified":"2024-07-29T20:52:54","modified_gmt":"2024-07-29T20:52:54","slug":"love-and-marriage-how-love-changes-over-time","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/love\/love-and-marriage-how-love-changes-over-time\/","title":{"rendered":"Love and Marriage- 10 Ways How Love Changes Over Time in Marriage"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-19399 size-full\" title=\"Love and Marriage\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/Love-and-Marriage.jpg\" alt=\"Love and Marriage\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The first moments of <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/love\/stages-of-falling-in-love\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">falling in love<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> with someone are, at the same time, the supreme high and the absolute deception.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You surely know that feeling when you are convinced that your world finally acquired the ultimate meaning, and you only want this emotion to last forever (even though after a few such experiences, you can hear that tiny voice telling you that it is fleeting).&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It is inevitable, but understanding how love changes over time can help.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It is this elation that guides you into the desire to make this person be by your side until the day you die.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And now, the deceptive side to it all &ndash; even though being freshly in love is among the most profound feelings one can have, it cannot last forever &ndash; usually not even more than a few months, as studies show.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Does-love-change-after-marriage\"><\/span><b>Does love change after marriage?&nbsp;<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Many people complain or mention that their love life has changed after marriage. This is because partners stop wooing each other once they get married. The additional effort or going out of the way to impress your partner does not exist anymore because you are not trying to win them over.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This can be interpreted as a change of love. However, what changes after marriage is how people express their love. Initially, when one is wooing their partner, they want to put their best foot forward. They try to express their love in grand gestures.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">However, after marriage, the <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/love\/how-to-express-your-love\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">expression of love<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> may be in the little things such as doing the dishes, folding the laundry, or mundane activities such as cooking for your partner when they are too tired from work.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/experts\/grady-shumway\">LMHC Grady Shumway<\/a> points out,<\/p>\n<blockquote><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">After marriage, love often evolves from grand gestures to everyday acts of kindness and support. While the initial excitement of wooing may fade, couples deepen their bond through shared responsibilities and caring gestures that nurture their relationship over time.<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><em><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Have you ever wondered why we love? Watch this interesting video to know more.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"YouTube video player\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/yJSiUm6jvI0\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"The-5-stages-of-love-couples-go-through\"><\/span><b>The 5 stages of love couples go through&nbsp;<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">While some people do not realize almost everyone goes through the five stages of love.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><i>How does love change over time?<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The first stage is the process of falling in love or <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/books.google.ca\/books?hl=en&amp;lr=&amp;id=506FGoFBjmUC&amp;oi=fnd&amp;pg=PP2&amp;dq=limerence+research&amp;ots=Qd1Xgg4Qry&amp;sig=qoMfuUIy62QQvT2mv6cOhLyJWE0#v=onepage&amp;q=limerence%20research&amp;f=false\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">limerence<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. This is the butterflies-in-your-stomach phase.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The second stage is the one where a couple starts to build trust. This is when you start to trust your partner explicitly.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The third stage is disillusionment. This is when the <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/how-long-does-the-honeymoon-phase-last\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">honeymoon phase<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> is over. The reality of love and life starts to hit you, and you understand that it requires effort and work to make a relationship work.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The next two stages are when you learn to fight through the troubles, emerge stronger, and finally let love take over.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Read more about the stages of love <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/love\/powering-together-through-the-stages-of-love\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">here.<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n<pre><b><i>Related Read<\/i><\/b><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">: <\/span><\/i><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/changes-after-saying-i-do\/\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">How to Deal with Changes After Marriage<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/pre>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Infatuation-versus-love-in-marriage\"><\/span><b>Infatuation versus love in marriage<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The rush you get when you fall in love with someone mobilizes all your senses and causes a whirl of emotions, thoughts, and, not to forget, chemical reactions &ndash; all of which inevitably make you yearn more and more and more.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Many decide then and there to try and ensure that this won&rsquo;t go away, and they often do so by making their bond official in the face of law and God if they are people of faith. Yet, unfortunately, although romantic, such a step often proves to be a gateway to trouble.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>Why does love change over time?<\/b><\/p>\n<p><b><i>Love in marriage differs from that which made you get married in the first place, especially if you got hitched quickly.&nbsp;<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Don&rsquo;t get the wrong idea; love and marriage do exist together, but it is not the sexual and romantic infatuation that you first felt when you started looking at your new partner in a certain way.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Apart from <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/sitn.hms.harvard.edu\/flash\/2017\/love-actually-science-behind-lust-attraction-companionship\/\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">chemicals<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> that wear off (and evolutionary psychologists level-headedly claim that the purpose of this passionate enchantment is to ensure procreation, so it needs not last longer than a few months), once the period of being freshly in love goes away, you are up for a surprise.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">They say that love is blind, which might be true in the first months of it. But after the very <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/starting-a-new-relationship\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">beginning of your relationship<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, in which you get to know each other and feel the constant excitement of discovering your loved one, reality kicks in. And this is not necessarily a bad thing.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The world is filled with couples who live in loving marriages. It is just that the nature of your emotions and your relationship as a whole necessarily changes.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When you get married, soon the honeymoon is over, and you need to start not just fantasizing about your future but also approaching it pragmatically.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The obligations, the career, the plans, the finances, the responsibilities, the ideals, and the recollection of how you once were, all that gets mixed into your now married life.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And, at that stage, whether you will continue to <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/love\/loving-your-spouse-unconditionally\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">love your spouse<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> (and how much) or find yourself in a cordial (or not so much) marriage will mostly depend on how suitable you are.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This applies not only to those who tied the knot amid the impassioned dating but also to those who were in a serious and committed relationship before hearing the wedding bells.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Even in modern times, marriage still makes a difference in how people perceive each other and their lives.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Many couples who were in a relationship for years and were living together before they got married still report that getting married brought about changes in their self-image and, importantly, in their relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-81540\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/New-Project-2022-11-29T115822.758.jpg\" alt=\"Happy couple looking at each other\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"10-ways-how-love-changes-over-time-in-marriage\"><\/span><b>10 ways how love changes over time in marriage<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Some people may argue that love disappears as they spend more time in their marriage. However, the truth may be that love, and its expression evolves. Here are ten ways in which love changes over time in marriage.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>1. The honeymoon ends<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">A few months into the marriage, the honeymoon phase ends. The thrill and fun of the wedding fade away. Mundane life starts to set in. life involves waking up next to each other, going to work, managing everyday activities, and going to sleep.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The thrill and excitement of seeing each other start to fade because you start spending all your time with each other. This might be a good thing, but it can get monotonous and boring.<\/span><\/p>\n<pre><b><i>Related Read<\/i><\/b><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">: <\/span><\/i><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/honeymoon-phase\/\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">5 Tips to Keep the Flame of Passion Burning Post Honeymoon Phase<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/pre>\n<h3><b>2. The reality sets in<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Life is not a party, unfortunately. However, it sure does seem like one when you start dating or are just newly married. One way love changes over time in marriage is that it gets mixed with the reality of life, which might not always be sweet.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>3. Love is in the little things<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Another way love changes over time is in small things such as dividing household chores, making soup when you are sick, etc.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The grand gestures take a backseat after marriage. However, it does not hurt to convey your love in bigger ways once in a while.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/experts\/grady-shumway\">Grady Shumway<\/a> highlights,<\/p>\n<blockquote><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Love evolves into daily acts of care and support, like sharing household chores or making soup when your partner is sick. While grand gestures may become less frequent, occasional displays of affection in bigger ways can still strengthen your bond.<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<h3><b>4. You start to settle<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">As you progress in the marriage, you start settling into your new, calm life. Love still exists, its essence remains the same, but you are now more comfortable and relaxed.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>5. You see the bigger picture<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/love\/falling-in-love-after-marriage-all-over-again\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Love after marriage<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> is more about seeing the bigger picture and planning for the future. You start to think about building a family. If you have kids, they often take priority after marriage.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>6. Co-creating<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Another way love changes over time after marriage is that you work together as a team. You are now a married couple and are often considered a single unit. Whether a vote in family matters or an opinion about something, you start to work together towards a common goal.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>7. You need more space<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">As a marriage progresses, you need more space and alone time. This is because you are constantly doing something or the other or are on the go. However, the best part about being married is that your partner understands this and gives you what you require.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>8. Changes in sex drive<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Another way love changes over time when it comes to marriages is the <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/physical-intimacy\/reasons-of-no-sex-drive-in-your-marriage\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">changes in sex drive<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. You are still attracted to your partner, but you may not feel the urge to have sex too often.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<pre><b><i>Related Read: <\/i><\/b><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/physical-intimacy\/\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">How to Increase Sex Drive: 15 Ways to Boost Libido<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/pre>\n<h3><b>9. You become more open<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Another positive thing that happens to love after marriage is that you become more open with each other.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">While you may already have a very honest, <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/love\/how-to-maintain-a-healthy-relationship\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">healthy relationship<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, being married gives you a sense of security that helps you become more transparent with your partner.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>10. You become more passionate<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Another way love changes over time after marriage is that you become more passionate. The sense of security helps you express yourself better and be more vocal about your passion for the relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"FAQs\"><\/span><b>FAQs<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Here are some frequently asked questions about love and marriage.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>1. Does love fluctuate in marriage?<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The popular answer to that question would be yes. Sometimes, even as love exists in the marriage, you might feel little in love with your partner. This could be because boredom has got the best of you or because their little quirks are starting to get to you.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">However, it does not mean you do not love your partner anymore.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>2. What causes love to fade away in a marriage?<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Lack of appreciation, being unheard, or being disrespected can cause love to fade in a marriage or a relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Love fades away when either of you constantly tries to make the other understand what is hurting them, but for whatever reason, you cannot fix it.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">While every relationship or marriage goes through its set of troubles once in a while, when foundational values are challenged, love can fade away.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-81544\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/New-Project-2022-11-29T124246.494.jpg\" alt=\"Couple dancing together\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"What-awaits-us-on-the-road-ahead\"><\/span><b>What awaits us on the road ahead<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">According to experts, the first stages of love last up to a maximum of three years.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Infatuation cannot last longer than that unless it is artificially maintained by either a long-distance relationship or, more detrimentally, by the uncertainty and insecurity of one or both partners.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Nonetheless, at some point, these emotions need to adapt to a more profound, although possibly less exciting, love in marriage. This love is based on shared values, mutual plans, and willingness to commit to the future together.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It is rooted in trust and <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/intimacy\/what-true-intimacy-in-marriage-is\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">genuine intimacy<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, one in which we are seen as we truly are, rather than playing games of seduction and self-promotion, as we often do during the courtship period.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"The-takeaway\"><\/span><b>The takeaway<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In marriage, love is often a sacrifice, and it is often baring the weaknesses of our life partner, understanding them even when we might be hurt by what they are doing.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In marriage, love is a complete and overall feeling that serves as the foundation of your and the lives of generations to come. As such, it is less exciting than infatuation but that much more valuable.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">However, if you need professional help in your marriage, try one of these <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/marriage-courses\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">marriage courses online<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false,"raw":""},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The first moments of falling in love with someone are, at the same time, the supreme high and the absolute deception.&nbsp; You surely know that feeling when you are convinced that your world finally acquired the ultimate meaning, and you only want this emotion to last forever (even though after a few such experiences, you can hear that tiny voice telling you that it is fleeting).&nbsp; It is inevitable, but understanding how love changes over time can help. It is this elation that guides you into the desire to make this person be by your side until the day you <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1419,"featured_media":19399,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[9],"tags":[2568],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19376"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1419"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=19376"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19376\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":103261,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19376\/revisions\/103261"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/19399"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=19376"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=19376"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=19376"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}