{"id":18918,"date":"2017-11-20T12:17:51","date_gmt":"2017-11-20T12:17:51","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/?p=18918"},"modified":"2023-01-11T15:25:09","modified_gmt":"2023-01-11T15:25:09","slug":"5-ways-to-rekindle-romance-in-your-marriage","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/romance\/5-ways-to-rekindle-romance-in-your-marriage\/","title":{"rendered":"5 Ways to Rekindle Romance in Your Marriage"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

\"5<\/p>\n

Everyone wants a satisfying marriage, but what are they willing to do to make that happen? We find ourselves becoming complacent, then resenting our partners without necessarily understanding why and how to fix it. <\/span><\/p>\n

Let’s look at some very common bad habits most of us have. It’s necessary to adjust the way we think to enjoy romance and sex in our relationships.<\/span><\/p>\n

Here are some of the main steps that need to be taken to get and keep the romance going in your relationship:<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>1. Communication is vital<\/span><\/h2>\n

\"husband<\/p>\n

When romance fades in a relationship, usually one or both partners have shut down both sexually and emotionally.  They start to withdraw and isolate themselves as well as their partners.<\/p>\n

This makes having romance and sex more difficult when we’re not connected and in tune with each other. When it comes to romance, sometimes the sexiest thing our partners can do is communicate with us.<\/p>\n

It takes a risk and being vulnerable to use communication effectively with loved ones.  This can be considered maintenance for your relationship in keeping the lines of communication open.<\/p>\n

Just ask any sex therapist<\/a> how to fix sexual problems in a relationship, and they will tell you that communication is the most important element. <\/span><\/p>\n

The biggest problem for couples and the reason most marriages don’t work is a failure to communicate or not communicating effectively. Then over time, they become more and more disconnected. <\/span><\/p>\n

Now take this lack of communication<\/a> into the bedroom. Many are reluctant to speak up about their desires or needs for many different reasons. <\/span><\/p>\n

Cultural taboos, gender stereotypes, and religion are just some factors that cause people to be secretive or repressed about sex.  <\/span><\/p>\n

As a result, people experience major discomfort during sex or just don’t get what they need. Some people say that he or she should already know what works or what I like. <\/span><\/p>\n

Needless to say, this thinking is asking for trouble. Our egos are notorious for destroying relationships and don’t allow us to be vulnerable. <\/span><\/p>\n

So unless your marriage and sex life are perfect, you could probably benefit from discussing what your needs are as well as asking your partner more about their desires.<\/span><\/p>\n

If something you wish your partner would do for you or something you dislike, it is for you to spell it out for them. Being open and honest allows you to be fully free in your expression and builds trust in the relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>2. Let go of cultural expectations<\/span><\/h2>\n

Hollywood movies<\/a>, TV, magazines, and Facebook are very unreliable regarding sex and relationships, and reality in general. <\/span><\/p>\n

Many people don’t think they fall into this trap, but it’s extremely difficult to not be affected at all by our culture. Exposure to media actually instills fear, insecurity, and creates an expectation of perfection. <\/span><\/p>\n

As a result of being inundated by billboard models and the various media used in the American culture, we have a very warped view of how our bodies should look and how we should behave with others.<\/span><\/p>\n

I am constantly urging clients to limit being online because it is so harmful to us. Facebook and other social media have some benefits, but the negative consequences definitely outweigh it all. <\/span><\/p>\n

Most of my clients discuss feeling anxious and always comparing themselves to others when they use social media<\/a>. Now imagine what this does to our relationship and sex life. It sets us up for impossible judgments and comparisons. <\/span><\/p>\n

We imagine our relationships and sexual activity to be not okay and not measuring up to everyone else. Of course, this is an illusion that others are having more fun, having better sex, and enjoying their lives more. <\/span><\/p>\n

The chances are that they are as nervous about how they are doing as almost everyone else. Instead of judging and worrying, romance and sex should be sacred experiences that couples enjoy and share.<\/span><\/p>\n

We desperately need to learn how to be more mindful and give ourselves healthier messages and positive sexual messages. We see idealized relationships and sex scenes in movies where it just isn’t realistic. <\/span><\/p>\n

The constant pressure many people feel kills the mood for intimacy. Allow yourself to let go of these impossible standards and start to focus more on pleasure for you and your partner. This is the way it should be.<\/span><\/p>\n

Also watch: 5 crazy ways social media is changing your brain right now.<\/strong><\/p>\n