

{"id":1826,"date":"2015-08-31T10:44:35","date_gmt":"2015-08-31T10:44:35","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/?p=1826"},"modified":"2026-03-10T05:34:29","modified_gmt":"2026-03-10T05:34:29","slug":"how-to-get-a-divorce-what-you-need-to-know","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/divorce\/how-to-get-a-divorce-what-you-need-to-know\/","title":{"rendered":"10 Things You Should Know When Getting a Divorce"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"wp-image-1836 size-full alignnone\" title=\"4 Things You Need to Know When Getting a Divorce\" src=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/Getting-divorced.jpg\" alt=\"4 Things You Need to Know When Getting a Divorce\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Getting a divorce is rarely easy&mdash;but it is sometimes the best option for couples with problems that cannot be resolved or who are no longer clicking together in a healthy, loving way.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The end of any marriage brings a lot of challenges and stressful events for spouses and their kids. During such a time, understanding the legal divorce process or knowing the steps to get a divorce can be very difficult for anyone.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>When to get a divorce<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">? How to start the divorce process? and even <\/span><b>how to get divorce papers <\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">are a few of the many questions you would need an answer to before diving into the divorce process.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">On the other hand, knowing the<\/span><b> process of getting a divorce<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> can make your journey through <\/span><b>divorce proceedings<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> much easier.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"10-things-you-should-know-when-getting-a-divorce\"><\/span><b>10 things you should know when getting a divorce<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">While <\/span><b>getting a divorce<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> isn&rsquo;t easy, it doesn&rsquo;t have to be difficult; consider the following essentials as what you need to know on <\/span><b>how to get a divorce.<\/b><\/p>\n<h3><b>1. Be wary of divorce advice<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">One of the<\/span><b> first steps in getting a divorce<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> is to be cautious of who is advising you and how credible they are. Once you tell people&mdash;friends, family, or otherwise&mdash;that you are <\/span><b>getting a divorce<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, be prepared for an <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.researchgate.net\/publication\/265421504_Divorce_Trends_patterns_causes_consequences\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">avalanche of divorce advice.<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> While the advice is almost always well-meaning, be sure to take everything with a grain of salt.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">People often forget how personal divorce can be, and they may try to apply the advice to a situation where it may not help, such as advising you to &ldquo;work your problems out&rdquo; when you and your partner have spent the last year doing just that. You don&rsquo;t have to discount divorce advice entirely, but make sure to keep it at arm&rsquo;s length.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>2. Think through every important decision<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Knowing how to divorce is easy, but going through this traumatic experience is not. It would help if you thought about everything thoroughly before making this important decision. Divorce involves many life-changing decisions, and you need to make sure you are not impulsive while taking them.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Don&rsquo;t try to get over everything quickly. Instead of rushing through a divorce, calculate your every decision, as it can impact your life for the worse permanently.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<pre><b><i>Related Reading:-<\/i><\/b> <a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/divorce\/best-advice-for-divorce-to-help-you-make-good-decisions\/\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">25 Best Divorce Tips to Help You Make Good Decisions About the Future<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/pre>\n<h3><b>3. The win is not easy<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If the divorce isn&rsquo;t mutual and you need to fight a case, do not think you will win. It&rsquo;s not an absolute thing to keep in mind. Many people think they can win a divorce case easily, but it involves many important factors, such as <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">child custody<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, support, and the division of property.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Not all people get everything they want out of divorce, so keep your head clear and focus on things that will improve your future, not on the WIN.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>4. Consider settling a divorce outside the court<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Most people think that court is the last resort to getting a divorce. There are other methods you can opt for other than court. You can use the mediation method, where a neutral third party specially trained to work in divorce cases will help you and your spouse to work on mutual agreements. The attorneys will be a part of mediation proceedings, but it will be much easier.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You can also opt for a <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/divorce\/collaborative-divorce-vs-mediation\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">collaborative divorce<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> by hiring a collaborative attorney and resolving the case without going to court. A professional team will assist in the process and help you make neutral decisions that benefit both parties.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>5. Be honest with your divorce attorney<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Many people who resent their spouses do not understand that it is extremely important to tell your attorney everything honestly. If you hide something, it will come out and might ruin your chances of winning the case. Please ensure you share every honest detail with your attorney so they can provide the right solution and advice.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Get some divorce advice straight from divorce lawyers to understand how it impacts your life.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"YouTube video player\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/eCLk-2iArYc\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<pre><b><i>Related Reading<\/i><\/b><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">:- <\/span><\/i><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/divorce\/how-to-select-the-right-divorce-attorney\/\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">How to Select the Right Divorce Attorney: 6 Tips From a Lawyer<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/pre>\n<h3><b>6. It can get very expensive<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Most people do not realize that <\/span><b>getting a divorce<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> is a very expensive process. A formal divorce proceeding can cost anywhere from $10,000 to $30,000 due to the high price of court proceedings and the high fees charged by divorce attorneys.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If the divorce is not amicable, you will usually have to hire a divorce lawyer to help you. If the divorce is (thankfully) amicable, you may be able to use a trained divorce mediator, which will be much more affordable.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Once you have decided to get a divorce, start setting aside money right away. You will probably need it!<\/span><\/p>\n<pre><b><i>Related Reading:-<\/i><\/b> <a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/divorce\/how-to-get-a-divorce-with-no-money\/\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">How to Get a Divorce With No Money<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/pre>\n<h3><b>7. Make a list of every single shared account and act fast<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When most people want to know <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/divorce\/divorce-without-court\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">how to get divorced<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, they focus on the custody of children, who gets the home, and splitting up property; many forget about shared accounts, including bank accounts, retirement accounts, beneficiary trusts, and so on.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Once you decide on <\/span><b>getting a divorce<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, make a list of every shared account you and your partner have together. You will need to close all of these accounts as soon as possible and, in cases where the money is yours, <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/separation\/steps-for-legal-separation\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">consider legal action<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> to block your soon-to-be-ex-spouse from accessing them before they have time to take the money out.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">There have been countless divorce cases where an angry spouse drains the savings and checking accounts, leaving their former partner without a penny to their name&mdash;and no legal recourse.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The laws regarding shared bank accounts may vary from state to state. Depending on your state&rsquo;s laws, you may be legally required to prove what money in a shared account came from your income before withdrawing it&mdash;while other states consider all money in shared accounts to be &lsquo;fair game for either partner in the marriage.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>8. Limit your family&rsquo;s involvement<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The emotional toll that a person goes through during divorce is not something they can not share with everyone. Having your family and friend&rsquo;s as a support network would definitely help you to get through your divorce.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">However, as good as the support from family and friends are, you need to ensure that they are not your first preference for counseling in such a difficult time. Their opinions and feelings about you or your spouse would get in the way of them being productive towards the <\/span><b>divorce process.<\/b><\/p>\n<pre><b><i>Related Reading:- <\/i><\/b><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/counseling\/divorce-counseling-what-it-is-and-what-good-does-it-do\/\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Divorce Counseling &ndash; What It Is and What Good Does It Do?<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/pre>\n<h3><b><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-39950 size-full\" title=\"Things You Need to Know When Getting a Divorce\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/4-Critical-Pieces-of-Advice-on-Divorce-and-Custody-Proceedings-Interview-With-Family-Law-Attorney-Ronald-F.-Brot.jpg\" alt=\"Things You Need to Know When Getting a Divorce\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/b><\/h3>\n<h3><b>9. Communicate empathically in front of your kids<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The <\/span><b>process of divorce<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> can be very cruel and tends to bring out resentment and anger for your spouse. In the heat of the moment, saying something mean to your spouse is very likely. Even though it might not be damaging to the spouses, it can be very <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov\/22474111\/\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">detrimental to the children.<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Remember to think before you speak in the presence of your kids. No matter how bad your relationship is with your spouse, do not let it affect how your kids perceive you as parents.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Refer to a mental health professional to help the kids through your divorce, and seek counseling to know what your kids might need from you when<\/span><b> getting a divorce<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>10. Stop reminiscing<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Obsessing about a relationship once it has ended is very common and expected. However, how you consume yourself in your <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/therapy\/negative-experiences-of-the-past-can-affect-your-relationship\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">past relationships affects<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> how soon and effectively you can move ahead in your life.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Similarly, it takes time to process what has happened and learn to move on after a divorce. Everyone adjusts at their own pace, but finding a way to forgive yourself and your partner and focus on the future is always recommended.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Divorce-preparation-checklist\"><\/span><b>Divorce preparation checklist<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">One of the most important things to keep in mind while getting a divorce is preparing a checklist of things you need to include in the process. Everything must be taken care of, from housing arrangements to budget plans, managing expenses, and ensuring your financial future.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In fact, if children are involved, there is so much you need to think about and prepare a list. For example, primary custody, child support, college savings, etc. It would help if you considered all the necessary arrangements while <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/divorce\/divorce-preparation-checklist\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">preparing a divorce checklist<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. Here is a detailed <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/divorce\/divorce-preparation-checklist\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">article<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> that will help you thoroughly.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Takeaway\"><\/span><b>Takeaway<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Life goes on, and the more time you spend wallowing about what was in the past and what could have been done can not change anything, but it only affects your belief and ability to trust that things will eventually work out.<\/span><\/p>\n<pre><\/pre>\n","protected":false,"raw":""},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Getting a divorce is rarely easy&mdash;but it is sometimes the best option for couples with problems that cannot be resolved or who are no longer clicking together in a healthy, loving way. The end of any marriage brings a lot of challenges and stressful events for spouses and their kids. During such a time, understanding the legal divorce process or knowing the steps to get a divorce can be very difficult for anyone. When to get a divorce? How to start the divorce process? and even how to get divorce papers are a few of the many questions you would <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":630,"featured_media":1836,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[17],"tags":[2682],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1826"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/630"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1826"}],"version-history":[{"count":18,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1826\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":117837,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1826\/revisions\/117837"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1836"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1826"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1826"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1826"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}