

{"id":17992,"date":"2017-09-27T10:48:00","date_gmt":"2017-09-27T10:48:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/?p=17992"},"modified":"2023-05-09T08:06:51","modified_gmt":"2023-05-09T08:06:51","slug":"8-signs-you-are-insecure-in-your-relationship","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/8-signs-you-are-insecure-in-your-relationship\/","title":{"rendered":"16 Signs of Insecurity in Relationships"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-18014 size-full\" title=\"8 Signs You Are Insecure in Your Relationship\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/09\/8-Signs-You-Are-Insecure-in-Your-Relationship.jpg\" alt=\"8 Signs You Are Insecure in Your Relationship\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Both partners should feel loved, respected, and secure in a relationship. This holy grail of<\/span> <a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/top-characteristics-of-a-healthy-relationship\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">healthy relationship characteristics<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> is torn apart when there is severe insecurity in the relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Ranging from jealousy to controlling behavior, relationship insecurity can manifest itself in many destructive ways. Your insecurities in marriage may or may not be warranted, but they create unhealthy behaviors regardless of your reasoning.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Insecurity in relationships can lead to the end of it.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What&rsquo;s concerning is that such insecurity can also manifest into health problems later on, as <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.apa.org\/news\/press\/releases\/2010\/07\/insecure-attachment\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">studies<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> have found.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"How-do-you-define-insecurity-in-a-relationship\"><\/span><b>How do you define insecurity in a relationship?<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">How do you define relationship insecurity?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The insecure meaning in a relationship means that a person is anxious, unsure, and not confident.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It may not be evident at first, but you manifest signs of insecurity as you go deeper into your relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">We can describe it as a lingering thought and belief that you are not good enough for your partner. You may start getting intrusive thoughts that your partner, who you love the most, may find someone better than you.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/insecure-in-a-relationship\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Being insecure in a relationship<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> can be addicting. The more you entertain the thoughts, the bigger the insecurity becomes.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Contrary to what we expect, insecure people don&rsquo;t present themselves as weak people. There can be times when they mask their insecurities with overconfidence and even <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.researchgate.net\/publication\/5331662_Narcissists_as_Victims_The_Role_of_Narcissism_in_the_Perception_of_Transgressions\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">narcissism<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. One day, you realize that the once happy union you share with your partner is now filled with negative emotions.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Insecurity in relationships can turn a healthy relationship into a toxic one.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-67183 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/06\/how-insecure-attachment-affects-relationships-in-adulthood.jpg\" alt=\"Upset Thoughtful Young Woman Lost in Thoughts\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"What-causes-a-person-to-feel-insecure-in-the-relationship\"><\/span><b>What causes a person to feel insecure in the relationship?<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">&nbsp;<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/starting-a-new-relationship\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When you enter a new relationship<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, it&rsquo;s filled with passionate love and high emotions. Even for those who have a troubled past, new love and relationships seem like hope.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">But what happens when symptoms of insecurity manifest? What causes an excellent relationship to turn sour and be filled with doubts?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Insecurities show up when we encounter triggers.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You may have seen how your partner befriends people of the opposite sex, or you may have seen a random text from a friend you don&rsquo;t know.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Insecurities can also be caused by comparing yourself with your partner&rsquo;s exes or feeling inferior to your partner&rsquo;s achievements.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Many triggers can ruin the trust, and insecurity finally sets in.<\/span><b>&nbsp;<\/b><\/p>\n<pre><b><i>Related Reading: <\/i><\/b><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/deal-with-the-insecurity\/\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Dealing with the Insecurity from Your Partner&rsquo;s Professional Relationships<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/pre>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Where-do-relationship-insecurities-come-from\"><\/span><b>Where do relationship insecurities come from?<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">No one wants to be insecure in love. But have you ever wondered where insecurity in relationships comes from?&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What makes someone insecure in a relationship and feel haunted by endless doubts, jealousy, and hurt?&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Some insecurities stem from a painful past. It could be by a parent who never gave us love, a goal that we failed to achieve, or unrequited love or abuse.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Insecurity roots in a <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/mental-health\/low-self-esteem-in-relationship\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">lack of self-esteem<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Some people fake their confidence and trust, but later on, insecurities in a relationship manifest.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">We may not even realize that our lack of self-love and self-esteem can drag our romantic relationship down.<\/span><b>&nbsp;<\/b><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"What-are-examples-of-insecurity-in-a-relationship\"><\/span><b>What are examples of insecurity in a relationship?&nbsp;<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Insecurity in relationships is common. There will be times when you need reassurance from your partner.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">But when insecurity becomes too much that it disrupts your relationship and daily lives, that&rsquo;s already a <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/warning-signs-of-a-toxic-relationship\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">red flag of a toxic relationship<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Here is one of the most common insecurities in a relationship that will serve as insecurities examples for all of us.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You feel your partner is a flirt and that this person is not loyal to you. When your partner is late and lets you know they have a meeting, you secretly think he&rsquo;s lying.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What happens when your brain gives you ideas like this?&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You tell yourself how not to be insecure, but your mind is racing, trying to uncover the truth about the &ldquo;overtime&rdquo; reason that your partner gave you.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Soon, you realize that you&rsquo;re stalking his<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/social-media-ruins-relationships\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> social media<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, texting his co-workers and friends to see if he&rsquo;s telling the truth, and spend hours thinking about what lies he told you and what he is doing.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Who&rsquo;s having a hard time with this situation? That&rsquo;s right, it is you.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It&rsquo;s the start of the insecurity you have tried hiding for a long time. If you start feeling insecure in a relationship, it would be hard for you to go back.<\/span><b>&nbsp;<\/b><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Is-feeling-insecurity-normal-in-a-relationship\"><\/span><b>Is feeling insecurity normal in a relationship?<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Insecurity in relationships is indeed common.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">No matter how long you&rsquo;ve been together or how much you love each other, there will be times when you need to hear your partner&rsquo;s assurance.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This happens when we become too busy or feel that we&rsquo;re not appealing enough, and that&rsquo;s okay.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Reassuring our partners is one <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/hobbies-to-strengthen-relationship\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">way of strengthening the relationships<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">However, if this need becomes an obsession, then that&rsquo;s the time when insecurity in your relationship has become unhealthy and toxic.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you don&rsquo;t recognize the signs of insecurity in a relationship with it, it can slowly ruin your relationship and love.<\/span><\/p>\n<pre><b><i>Related Reading:<\/i><\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">&nbsp; <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/why-am-i-so-insecure\/\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Why Am I So Insecure? 20 Ways to Feel Secure From Within<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/pre>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"16-Signs-of-insecurities-in-a-relationship\"><\/span><b>16 Signs of insecurities in a relationship<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Now that you are aware of the effects of insecurity in a relationship, it&rsquo;s time to move on and understand the signs someone is insecure in their relationship.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Read through and see if you possess some of the characteristics of a person who is unsure of their <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/loyalty-in-relationships\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">partner&rsquo;s love and loyalty<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>1. Fear of losing your partner<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">One sign that you feel insecure in a relationship is the constant fear of losing your mate. Relationship insecurities make you feel like you aren&rsquo;t worth someone&rsquo;s time.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">So you find yourself obsessing over whether your mate likes you, enjoys sex, is attracted to you, finds you annoying, or wants to leave you for someone else. This fear seems warranted when you have been through a rough patch with your partner where perhaps they did lose your trust.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It was found in a <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.researchgate.net\/publication\/224848615_Romantic_Attachment_Insecurity_Predicts_Sexual_Dissatisfaction_in_Couples_Seeking_Marital_Therapy\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">study<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> of couples seeking marital therapy that romantic attachment insecurity was a predictor of <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/physical-intimacy\/sexual-dissatisfaction-in-a-relationship\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">sexual dissatisfaction<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Without trust, a relationship is doomed. If you are genuinely concerned that you will not be able to trust your mate, you should not be together. If you are insecure in love, is it worth it? Trust is the foundation for a healthy relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Marie Forleo, named by Oprah as a thought leader, talks about how to forgive someone who has broken your heart. Should it be given or not?&nbsp;<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"YouTube video player\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/XvUC9852WYs\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<h3><b>2. Consuming jealousy<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">There is a certain level of jealousy in a relationshi<\/span><b>p<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> that is considered healthy. After all, you are in a <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/signs-of-a-committed-relationship\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">committed relationship<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, and you don&rsquo;t want someone else breaking what you have built. But, there is a point where this healthy jealousy turns into consuming insecurity. Common signs of jealousy include:<\/span><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/spying-on-your-mate\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Spying on your mate<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Constantly questioning your partner&rsquo;s whereabouts<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>3. Negativity<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/how-to-get-out-of-a-controlling-relationship\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Controlling behavior<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, such as demanding friendships to be ended because they make you uncomfortable<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Getting too close or clingy with your mate<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Spite and pettiness, such as making a new friend or flirting with someone else just to make your mate jealous<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Jealousy is extremely difficult to overcome, but not impossibly so. This sneaky emotion seems entirely justified while you are in the moment, but it is not worth ruining a great relationship over. Practice learning to let go of particular hang-ups and build trust in a relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>4. Demanding access to gadgets<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">One sign that you are insecure in marriage is if you demand access to your spouse&rsquo;s electronic devices such as phone, tablet, or social media accounts. You may be paranoid, wondering if your mate has naughty apps or carries on inappropriate conversations in private messages. Still, you should not be policing them, hoping that you&rsquo;re <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/save-your-marriage\/keys-to-save-your-relationship\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">saving your relationship<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It seems a little scary at first but acknowledging that you cannot change your partner&rsquo;s actions by monitoring them like a security guard can give you a sense of peace. In the end, you either trust your mate, or you don&rsquo;t.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>5. You constantly check social media<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Even if you have your partner&rsquo;s passwords for their e-mail or access to their phone, your insecurities still can&rsquo;t be silenced. Instead of going straight to your mate&rsquo;s device, you obsessively check their social media.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You may even google your spouse&rsquo;s name or constantly check up on their exes via social media. This can lead to unhealthy arguments and deeper insecurities.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Social media is a notorious relationship killer, so there&rsquo;s a reason to doubt the ease with which infidelity can happen over networking sites. The American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers reports that one-third of divorce filings contain &ldquo;Facebook.&rdquo;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">According to a <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.hg.org\/legal-articles\/facebook-has-become-a-leading-cause-in-divorce-cases-27803\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">survey by Divorce-Online UK<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, approximately one in three divorces result from disagreements related to social media.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">That said, being consumed by every new &lsquo;like&rsquo; on your mate&rsquo;s photos or keenly aware of anyone having conversations with them is no way to live.<\/span><\/p>\n<pre><b><i>Related Reading: <\/i><\/b><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/social-media-and-relationships\/\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The Harsh Truth About Social Media and Relationships&rsquo; Codependency<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/pre>\n<h3><b>6. Paranoia and disbelief as to your partner&rsquo;s whereabouts<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The constant questioning of your partner&rsquo;s whereabouts and intentions can be tiring for both parties and weaken your relationship. Unfortunately, the hardest possible thing to do when you are insecure is to trust your mate.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The next time you get into an argument with your partner about their actual whereabouts, try and remind yourself that if your mate has never given you a reason to doubt them, stop doing so. This is one of the signs of an insecure man in love, and insecure<\/span> <span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">husbands tend to display this behavior more than wives.<\/span><\/p>\n<pre><b><i>Related Reading:<\/i><\/b> <a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/when-you-live-with-an-insecure-husband\/\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When You Live With An Insecure Husband<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/pre>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-33279 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/01\/How-to-Identify-an-Insecure-Man-and-What-to-Do-About-it.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<h3><b>7. The need for constant reassurance<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Am I attractive? Do you love me? Do you want to be with me? Are you being faithful? Why do you like me anyway?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">These are all questions that are spurred on by insecurities. If you are insecure with yourself, you may find you are constantly requesting reassurance from your spouse for validation.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Excessive reassurance seeking by a partner can indicate depression caused by<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/mental-health\/what-is-attachment-anxiety\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> attachment anxiety<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. Have a look at what this <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.researchgate.net\/publication\/8074866_Attachment_Style_Excessive_Reassurance_Seeking_Relationship_Processes_and_Depression\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">study<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> found in this regard.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Some reassurance from your partner is expected to make you feel special in your relationship, but it should not consume your conversations. If you feel depressed or need frequent reassurance, you may consider counseling a fantastic way to get to know yourself better and learn to love who you are.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>8. You don&rsquo;t like to be left alone<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you are insecure in your relationship, being left alone is your worst nightmare. The silence is haunting. You would rather be anywhere but left to think. This fear of being alone can also lead you to stay in an unhealthy relationship that does not deserve your time or attention.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Seek counseling or confide in a friend or family member who can give you an outside perspective of why it is better to be on your own and learn to love yourself rather than <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/how-to-leave-a-toxic-relationship\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">stay in a toxic relationship<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>9. You avoid confrontation<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When dealing with insecurity in your relationship, you might avoid confrontation like the plague, even when warranted. This is because you fear that your mate will leave you at the slightest sign of opposition.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you want to pursue <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/what-is-the-definition-of-a-healthy-relationship\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">a healthy relationship<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, you must practice honest communication. This means getting uncomfortable topics out in the open and sharing your thoughts and feelings.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you find yourself constantly suspicious of your mate and feel the need to gather information about their whereabouts with questions like &ldquo;How long were you gone?&rdquo; and &ldquo;Who were you with?&rdquo; it&rsquo;s a clear sign that you are insecure in your relationship.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Work on building trust with your mate and creating goals around getting to know yourself better. Your mate cannot take away your insecurities. Only you can.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>10. You suspect everyone<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It&rsquo;s so hard to learn how to handle insecurity in a relationship when you don&rsquo;t trust anyone.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You suspect your <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/why-do-people-flirt\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">partner is flirting<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> with someone; you ask his friends or co-workers, and they deny it.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Still, you don&rsquo;t feel satisfied. They do not convince you they are telling the truth.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You soon realize that you suspect your partner, friends, family, and everyone around him.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You hate them for not telling you the truth, but is there something to tell?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What if nothing is going on? What if you&rsquo;re accusing these people just because of an experience?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Wouldn&rsquo;t it be unfair to your partner and his peers?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Insecurity can make you believe everyone is conspiring against you. It hurts you, haunts you, and makes you want to dig more.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">As you dig for more information, you go deeper into suspicion and all the other negative feelings that will not help you or your relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>11. You doubt your partner&rsquo;s loyalty<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">&ldquo;Why am I so insecure in my relationship even though I feel my partner loves me?&rdquo;&nbsp;<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Insecurity in relationships can alter your thoughts. Your partner hasn&rsquo;t given you any reason to doubt his feelings, yet you don&rsquo;t feel at ease.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You doubt his every move and think of many scenarios that haven&rsquo;t happened yet. Then, the pain of imagining those scenarios will build up resentment without basis.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Even without proof, you can&rsquo;t help but doubt your partner&rsquo;s loyalty and love for you.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It hurts so much.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You feel that you have loved this person, but heartache and loyalty issues are all you get.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Wait, did something happen yet? Your feelings are legit, but you doubt his loyalty even though he has done nothing yet.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Wouldn&rsquo;t this be unfair to your partner?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">At the start of a relationship, there should be trust. Without it, you won&rsquo;t go anywhere.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">How can you be happy with all these intrusive thoughts? How can you trust if your mind is full of baseless doubts?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If your insecurities stop you from trusting your partner, then it would be difficult for you to become intimate with them, open up, and strengthen your relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You won&rsquo;t move forward with your relationship if your only focus is distrust, insecurities, and doubts.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<pre><b><i>Related Reading: <\/i><\/b><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/loyalty-in-relationships\/\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What is Loyalty &amp; Its Importance in a Relationship<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/pre>\n<h3><b>12. There&rsquo;s always an issue<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">&ldquo;Why is it you still talk to your ex? You don&rsquo;t love me?&rdquo;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">To this, your partner might compromise and block his ex. Then a few days, you decide to check his social media, and one co-worker sends him quotes.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">&ldquo;Are you flirting?&rdquo;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Again, to prove his love, he ignores her. Again, after some time, you see him busy with his work and always on overtime.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">&ldquo;You no longer have time for me. Are you working or just spending some time with another girl?&rdquo;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Again, your partner will try to soothe you and explain that it&rsquo;s work. That he loves you and he won&rsquo;t lie or hurt you.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">For a while, your heart and mind will be at peace. You enjoy the love and affection until the negative feelings cloud your judgment again.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The cycle starts again. Does this sound tiring?&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It is because it can drain you. It slowly turns a happy relationship into a toxic one.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you are insecure, you doubt your partner&rsquo;s efforts instead of seeing them. There&rsquo;s always an issue, and your partner&rsquo;s efforts are never enough.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-67180 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/06\/insecure-attachment-style-types-causes-ways-to-overcome.jpg\" alt=\"A Conceptual Image of Two Beautiful Young Caucasian Woman Covering Face With Her Hands and Peering Out With One Eye Between Her Fingers Standing Indoors\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<h3><b>13. You begin to test him<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If an insecure person doesn&rsquo;t find any proof of <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov\/pmc\/articles\/PMC5709195\/\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">cheating<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, they might develop a scheme just to feel better.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">They will start testing their partner&rsquo;s loyalty by setting up traps.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">One can create a fake social media account of a girl she suspects. Adds her partner and tries to flirt. The goal? She wants to see if her partner will flirt back.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What happens when he does? Do you break up?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What&rsquo;s the purpose of these schemes?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Either way, you<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/behaviors-that-ruin-a-relationship\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> ruin your relationship<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. If your partner flirts, you got yourself an issue. If your partner finds out about your schemes, then he might leave you for doing this.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Setting a flirt trap is just one example of how insecure people test their partners. There can be more and more toxic, leaving the other end exhausted.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">By putting up all these tests, even if your partner loves you so much, they are bound to realize that their efforts are never enough.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Wouldn&rsquo;t it be beautiful to trust each other because you are in love?&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">To give that trust and loyalty to the person you love because they deserve it?&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>14. You become vulnerable to cheat<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you are insecure and doubtful, you look for affirmation and reassurance, and sometimes, you catch them cheating.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">That&rsquo;s right, how ironic is it to doubt your partner&rsquo;s loyalty, yet it is the insecure person who&rsquo;s capable of cheating?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">&ldquo;Maybe I am not good enough as a person or lover.&rdquo;<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">These are just some of the intrusive thoughts of someone with insecurities. Some people prey on weak people and assure them they are loved and wanted.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">These prey offer intimacy, security, and false promises, and in return, the insecure person seeks security from someone else.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The intensity and thrill of cheating, to an insecure person, would look like attention and love, but what happens next?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You become the person you hate the most.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Everything points to you now, and the insecurities you failed to overcome have won. It&rsquo;s wreaking havoc not just in your relationship but also in yourself.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Those insecurities, like termites, destroyed not just yourself but your relationship as well.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<pre><b><i>Related Reading: <\/i><\/b><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/benefits-of-vulnerability-in-relationships\/\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">16 Powerful Benefits of Vulnerability in Relationships<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/pre>\n<h3><b>15. You have a hard time with intimacy<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Intimacy is beautiful, and it makes any relationship stronger.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">There&rsquo;s <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.jstor.org\/stable\/41887101\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">emotional intimacy<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> where you can tell your partner anything and everything. We also know physical intimacy, intellectual, and also spiritual intimacy.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">These can strengthen your bond.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">For an insecure person, these are hard to develop. If a person is battling insecurities, they will have difficulty getting intimate with their partners.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It&rsquo;s hard for them to open up because they doubt their partners&rsquo; motives.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Even with lovemaking, a person with insecurities won&rsquo;t be able to get intimate or enjoy the love they should be sharing.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Did you know your partner can feel if you&rsquo;re not enjoying yourself?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Even when you should bond, enjoy cuddling, and just talking about life won&rsquo;t appeal to you anymore. Why?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It is because your mind is filled with thoughts, what-ifs, and all other negative emotions.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">They can&rsquo;t be intimate because they fill their minds with negative thoughts. So, how can you achieve the love and relationship that you want and long for if it is you who can&rsquo;t open up and be intimate?<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>16. You don&rsquo;t feel happy<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Being insecure in a relationship strips you and your partner of the happiness that you deserve.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You decide to open your heart and enter a new relationship, yet you can&rsquo;t give your partner 100% of your love, trust, and loyalty.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The thoughts of insecurities, doubts, and suspicions get the better of you.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">How can you be happy with that?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Did you enter the relationship just to feel this way? Aren&rsquo;t you torturing yourself and your partner with this?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You no longer feel happy because you&rsquo;re hurting. Do you know why you are hurting so much?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">That&rsquo;s right. You need to analyze why you&rsquo;re not happy. Deep inside, you know what&rsquo;s wrong, and you understand how being insecure in love can cause you the person who&rsquo;s willing to love and protect you.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What if your partner does the same thing to you? What if your partner accuses you of things you didn&rsquo;t do? How will that make you feel?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You are responsible for your happiness. If you allow insecurity in relationships to run to your head, it will never be enough no matter what your partner does.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Is-it-possible-to-overcome-insecurities-in-relationships\"><\/span><b>Is it possible to overcome insecurities in relationships?<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/love\/how-to-stop-being-insecure\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Overcoming insecurity in relationships<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> is a lonely battle. If you want the answer to &lsquo;how to overcome insecurity in a relationship,&rsquo; you have to have control over yourself. But if you think you don&rsquo;t know how to stop being insecure in a relationship and how to get over insecurities in a relationship, then there is help out there. A therapist can guide you on how to deal with insecurities in a relationship and even make you understand the types of insecurities in a relationship.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">To understand how to overcome insecurities in a relationship, it is important to find out what causes insecurity in a relationship. Only then can you learn how to become secure and fulfilled within a relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you find yourself asking &lsquo;why am I so insecure in my relationship&rsquo; and aren&rsquo;t able to figure this out on your own, you must seek help.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Without knowing how to deal with trust issues and insecurities, you would never be able to have a happy and fulfilling relationship. Relationship paranoia can drive a wedge between a couple. Signs of insecurity in a woman or a man must be spotted to salvage the relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Conclusion\"><\/span><b>Conclusion<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Feeling insecure in a relationship is never easy, and no one is judging you. We all have some battles that we need to overcome.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">There is still hope, even if you feel you are already drowning in insecurity in relationships.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you think you can no longer control your thoughts, talk to someone or seek help from a professional.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Remember that before anyone else can accept and love us, we should love ourselves first.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">We all deserve love, and when that time comes, give this person the trust and love they deserve.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false,"raw":""},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Both partners should feel loved, respected, and secure in a relationship. This holy grail of healthy relationship characteristics is torn apart when there is severe insecurity in the relationship. Ranging from jealousy to controlling behavior, relationship insecurity can manifest itself in many destructive ways. Your insecurities in marriage may or may not be warranted, but they create unhealthy behaviors regardless of your reasoning. Insecurity in relationships can lead to the end of it. What&rsquo;s concerning is that such insecurity can also manifest into health problems later on, as studies have found. How do you define insecurity in a relationship? How <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":630,"featured_media":18014,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[2502],"tags":[2601],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17992"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/630"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=17992"}],"version-history":[{"count":21,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17992\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":77225,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17992\/revisions\/77225"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/18014"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=17992"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=17992"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=17992"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}