{"id":17566,"date":"2017-09-15T07:56:05","date_gmt":"2017-09-15T07:56:05","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/?p=17566"},"modified":"2026-03-05T12:21:58","modified_gmt":"2026-03-05T12:21:58","slug":"recognize-an-emotionally-abusive-relationship","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/domestic-violence-and-abuse\/recognize-an-emotionally-abusive-relationship\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Recognize an Emotionally Abusive Relationship?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-4203 size-full\" title=\"How to Recognize an Emotionally Abusive Relationship\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/09\/How-to-Recognize-an-Emotionally-Abusive-Relationship.jpg\" alt=\"How to Recognize an Emotionally Abusive Relationship\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Emotional abuse can be more insidious and elusive than physical abuse.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">That is why it is hard to detect an emotionally abusive relationship. But it does exist.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And it is just not just men who are the abusers. Research and <a href=\"https:\/\/www.thehotline.org\/stakeholders\/domestic-violence-statistics\/\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\">statistics<\/a> have shown that <strong>men and women abuse each other at equal rates.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n<p>This article elaborates on the&nbsp;<span data-sheets-userformat='{\"2\":15105,\"3\":{\"1\":0},\"11\":0,\"12\":0,\"14\":[null,2,0],\"15\":\"Calibri\",\"16\":11}' data-sheets-value='{\"1\":2,\"2\":\"characteristics of an emotionally abusive relationship\"}'>characteristics of an emotionally abusive relationship and also expresses the&nbsp;signs of emotional abuse in a relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><strong>Also watch:&nbsp;<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><span data-sheets-userformat='{\"2\":15105,\"3\":{\"1\":0},\"11\":0,\"12\":0,\"14\":[null,2,0],\"15\":\"Calibri\",\"16\":11}' data-sheets-value='{\"1\":2,\"2\":\"characteristics of an emotionally abusive relationship\"}'><iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/A5fw-IT_phU\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Emotional-abuse-explained\"><\/span>Emotional abuse explained<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Emotional abuse involves a regular pattern of threatening, bullying, criticism, and verbal offense. Other tactics used by the bully are intimidation, manipulation, and shaming. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This type of <strong>abuse is used to dominate and control the other person.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Quite often, the source of emotional abuse is due to the abuser&rsquo;s childhood insecurities and wounds. Abusers themselves were sometimes abused. Abusers have not learned how to have positive, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/top-characteristics-of-a-healthy-relationship\/\">healthy relationships<\/a>.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The victim of the abuse does not see the mistreatment as abusive &ndash; at first. They use denial and minimizing as coping mechanisms to deal with the stress of the abuse. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">But denying emotional abuse year after year can result in anxiety, depression, and post-traumatic stress disorder. These are only a few&nbsp;<span data-sheets-userformat='{\"2\":15105,\"3\":{\"1\":0},\"11\":0,\"12\":0,\"14\":[null,2,0],\"15\":\"Calibri\",\"16\":11}' data-sheets-value='{\"1\":2,\"2\":\"symptoms of emotional abuse\"}'>symptoms of emotional abuse.&nbsp;<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<pre><em><strong>Related Reading:<\/strong><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/domestic-violence-and-abuse\/what-is-verbal-abuse\/\">&nbsp;What Is Verbal Abuse: How to Recognize and Avoid Verbal Beatings<\/a><\/em><\/pre>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"28-Signs-of-an-emotionally-abusive-relationship\"><\/span>28 Signs of an emotionally abusive relationship<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-45712\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/09\/Signs-of-an-emotionally-abusive-relationship.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Sometimes people think that &lsquo;abuse&rsquo; is not the right term to describe the mistreatment caused by their partners. They think it has more to do with the difficulties or problems that their partner has at the time. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Unfortunately, in some cases, this is just another form of denial.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you want to learn if you are emotionally abused in your relationship,<strong> check for the following signs.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n<ol><li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Your partner demeans or disregards your opinions, ideas, suggestions, or needs &ndash; on a regular basis.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Your partner <a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/the-blame-game-is-destructive-to-your-marriage\/\">blames<\/a> you of things that you know to be untrue.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Your partner humiliates you, puts you down, or makes fun of you in front of other people.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Your partner uses sarcasm or other methods of teasing to put you down and make you feel bad about yourself.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Your partner treats you like a child and tries to control you.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Your partner tells you that you are too sensitive, in order to put the blame on you for his or her emotional abuse in marriage.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Your partner always tries to chastise or correct your behavior.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Your partner calls you names or gives you unpleasant labels.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Your partner is distant or emotionally unavailable &ndash; most of the time.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Your partner regularly points out your flaws or shortcomings.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Your partner uses withdrawal to get attention or get what he or she wants.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Your partner plays the victim with the goal of deflecting blame.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Your partner does not show you any empathy or compassion.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Your partner does not seem to care about or even notice your feelings.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Your partner uses neglect or disengagement to punish you.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Your partner sees you as an extension of him- or herself, instead of seeing you as an individual.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Your partner belittles you and trivializes your accomplishments and dreams.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Your partner withholds sex as a way to control and manipulate you into doing what they want.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Your partner denies emotionally abusive behavior when you talk about it.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Your partner tries to control how you <a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/finance\/what-money-method-fits-your-relationship\/\">spend your money.<\/a><\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Your partner has trouble with apologizing or never apologize at all.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Your partner cannot tolerate being laughed at.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Your partner tries to make you feel like you are always wrong, and he or she is always right.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Your partner makes negative remarks or subtle threats to frighten you and keep you under their control.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Your partner is intolerant of the lack of respect.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Your partner crosses your boundaries over and over again.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Your partner makes you feel like you need his or her permission to make decisions.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Your partner blames you for their unhappiness or other problems, instead of taking personal responsibility.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">There are many more warning&nbsp;<span data-sheets-userformat='{\"2\":15105,\"3\":{\"1\":0},\"11\":0,\"12\":0,\"14\":[null,2,0],\"15\":\"Calibri\",\"16\":11}' data-sheets-value='{\"1\":2,\"2\":\"signs of an abusive relationship\"}'>signs of an abusive relationship<\/span>. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If the behavior of your partner is aimed at making you feel controlled, small, or incompetent, that is wrong and abusive. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If the behavior of your partner is making you feel dependent, and it is stopping you from being yourself, then that is also abuse. So <strong>no longer deny what is really happening.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Dealing-with-emotional-abuse\"><\/span>Dealing with emotional abuse<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-45713\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/09\/Dealing-with-emotional-abuse.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<p>Once you have identified the <span data-sheets-userformat='{\"2\":15105,\"3\":{\"1\":0},\"11\":0,\"12\":0,\"14\":[null,2,0],\"15\":\"Calibri\",\"16\":11}' data-sheets-value=\"{&quot;1&quot;:2,&quot;2&quot;:&quot;signs you're in an emotionally abusive relationship&quot;}\">signs, you&rsquo;re in an emotionally abusive relationship; you<\/span> need to deal with that relationship until you leave it.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">One of the best steps is to<strong> talk to someone about your abusive relationship.<\/strong> It is best to talk to someone who is outside of this relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">That person can help you see things from another perspective. This is especially valuable if you tend to see abusive behavior as innocent.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>A fresh perspective would also help you visualize the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.healthline.com\/health\/mental-health\/effects-of-emotional-abuse#short--term-effects\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\">long-term effects of being in an <span data-sheets-userformat='{\"2\":15105,\"3\":{\"1\":0},\"11\":0,\"12\":0,\"14\":[null,2,0],\"15\":\"Calibri\",\"16\":11}' data-sheets-value='{\"1\":2,\"2\":\"emotionally abusive relationship\"}'>emotionally abusive relationship<\/span><\/a>.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Only when you hear that it is not, can you change your mind and see the behavior for what it really is. An outsider can help you detect unreasonable behavior.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>You must recognize that your <strong>compassion towards your partner won&rsquo;t help you change him.<\/strong> Also, don&rsquo;t retaliate as it only allows the abuser to manipulate you and put the blame on you.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Another aspect you must consider is to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/experts\/\">see a relationship counselor<\/a>. He or she can help you untangle the situation and help both of you where the abusive behavior might come from. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The counselor can help both of you to move towards a more healthy relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>When it comes to leaving an abusive relationship, you can consider the following suggestions:<\/p>\n<ul><li>Do not be scared to let go and know when to end the relationship.<\/li>\n<li>Ensure that you are not under any imminent physical danger.<\/li>\n<li>Make sure you always have your phone with you to prepare for an emergency.<\/li>\n<li>If you feel threatened, find a safe place to go to.<\/li>\n<li>Do not contact your abuser nor respond to their attempts to communicate.<\/li>\n<li>Again, seek professional help to work through the challenges.<\/li>\n<\/ul><p><strong>No <a href=\"https:\/\/mainweb-v.musc.edu\/vawprevention\/research\/defining.shtml\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\">type of abuse<\/a> is acceptable,<\/strong> physical, emotional, etc., look for the signs of emotional abuse in your relationship and recognize if your relationship is truly salvageable or is it time to leave that relationship.<\/p>\n<pre><em><strong>Related Reading:&nbsp;<\/strong><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/domestic-violence-and-abuse\/how-to-stop-emotional-abuse-in-marriage\/\">8 Ways to Stop Emotional Abuse in Marriage<\/a><\/em><\/pre>\n","protected":false,"raw":""},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Emotional abuse can be more insidious and elusive than physical abuse. That is why it is hard to detect an emotionally abusive relationship. But it does exist. And it is just not just men who are the abusers. Research and statistics have shown that men and women abuse each other at equal rates. This article elaborates on the&nbsp;characteristics of an emotionally abusive relationship and also expresses the&nbsp;signs of emotional abuse in a relationship. Also watch:&nbsp; Emotional abuse explained Emotional abuse involves a regular pattern of threatening, bullying, criticism, and verbal offense. Other tactics used by the bully are intimidation, manipulation, <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1419,"featured_media":17567,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[85],"tags":[2709],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17566"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1419"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=17566"}],"version-history":[{"count":8,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17566\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":117727,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17566\/revisions\/117727"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/17567"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=17566"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=17566"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=17566"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}