

{"id":16265,"date":"2017-07-27T11:52:04","date_gmt":"2017-07-27T11:52:04","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/?p=16265"},"modified":"2023-05-20T05:22:18","modified_gmt":"2023-05-20T05:22:18","slug":"5-unexpected-ways-to-solve-marital-communication-problems","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/communication\/5-unexpected-ways-to-solve-marital-communication-problems\/","title":{"rendered":"5 Unexpected Ways to Solve Marital Communication Problems"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-48772 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/07\/marital-communication-problems.jpg\" alt=\"Couple having issue in bed \" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><strong>Marital communication problems can arise in even the strongest of marriages.<\/strong> After all, we&rsquo;re all humans, and none of us are mind readers. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Misunderstandings, hurt feelings, and missed points are part and parcel of any human relationship, and marriage is no different.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/communication\/common-communication-problems-in-marriage\/\">Dealing with <span data-sheets-value='{\"1\":2,\"2\":\"communication issues in marriage\"}' data-sheets-userformat='{\"2\":15105,\"3\":{\"1\":0},\"11\":0,\"12\":0,\"14\":[null,2,0],\"15\":\"Calibri\",\"16\":11}'>communication issues in marriage<\/span><\/a>&nbsp;as soon as they arise is a valuable skill for your marriage and your future together. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It&rsquo;s all too easy for <span data-sheets-value='{\"1\":2,\"2\":\"marital communication problems\"}' data-sheets-userformat='{\"2\":15169,\"3\":{\"1\":0},\"9\":0,\"11\":3,\"12\":0,\"14\":[null,2,0],\"15\":\"Calibri\",\"16\":11}'>marital communication problems<\/span> to fester and turn into resentments, and long-nursed hurts.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You know when you&rsquo;ve hit a <span data-sheets-value='{\"1\":2,\"2\":\"relationship communication\"}' data-sheets-userformat='{\"2\":15105,\"3\":{\"1\":0},\"11\":0,\"12\":0,\"14\":[null,2,0],\"15\":\"Calibri\",\"16\":11}'>relationship communication<\/span> problem, there&rsquo;s a feeling of tension and of something being unsatisfactory. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You might be fighting far more than usual, or just not talking much at all. You keep missing each other&rsquo;s meaning. Requests get missed, misunderstandings are rife, and before long, you both feel frustrated. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You might even be wondering if it&rsquo;s time to separate or get a <a href=\"https:\/\/www.huffpost.com\/entry\/divorce-causes_n_4304466\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\">divorce<\/a>.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Sometimes the best way to solve a <span data-sheets-value='{\"1\":2,\"2\":\"marriage communication\"}' data-sheets-userformat='{\"2\":15105,\"3\":{\"1\":0},\"11\":0,\"12\":0,\"14\":[null,2,0],\"15\":\"Calibri\",\"16\":11}'>marriage communication&nbsp;<\/span>problem is to take a whole new approach. Maybe you&rsquo;ve tried the usual advice of &ldquo;just talk to each other&rdquo; or &ldquo;try to see the other person&rsquo;s point of view.&rdquo;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Nothing wrong with that &ndash;&nbsp;after all, talking and listening are <span data-sheets-value='{\"1\":2,\"2\":\"effective communication techniques\"}' data-sheets-userformat='{\"2\":15105,\"3\":{\"1\":0},\"11\":0,\"12\":0,\"14\":[null,2,0],\"15\":\"Calibri\",\"16\":11}'>effective communication techniques and&nbsp;<\/span>the bedrock of <a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/communication\/good-communication-basics\/\">good communication<\/a>&nbsp;in marriage&ndash; but sometimes, a situation needs something different. &nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><strong>Watch this video to know the 3 easy ways to immediately improve communication in your marriage.<\/strong><br><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"YouTube video player\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/jIrSA-yZfhs\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><br><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you are struggling with a <span data-sheets-value='{\"1\":2,\"2\":\"lack of communication in a relationship\"}' data-sheets-userformat='{\"2\":15105,\"3\":{\"1\":0},\"11\":0,\"12\":0,\"14\":[null,2,0],\"15\":\"Calibri\",\"16\":11}'>lack of communication in a relationship or&nbsp;<\/span>a <span data-sheets-value='{\"1\":2,\"2\":\"lack of communication in marriage\"}' data-sheets-userformat='{\"2\":15105,\"3\":{\"1\":0},\"11\":0,\"12\":0,\"14\":[null,2,0],\"15\":\"Calibri\",\"16\":11}'>lack of communication in marriage<\/span>, try out one or more of these five unexpected <span data-sheets-value='{\"1\":2,\"2\":\"communication exercises for couples\"}' data-sheets-userformat='{\"2\":15105,\"3\":{\"1\":0},\"11\":0,\"12\":0,\"14\":[null,2,0],\"15\":\"Calibri\",\"16\":11}'>communication exercises for couples<\/span> to solve marital communication problems.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"1-Use-a-talking-stick\"><\/span>1. Use a talking stick<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This sounds a little out of line and may conjure up images of dancing around a campfire with feathers in your hair while wearing a boho skirt but bear with us for a moment. &nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><strong>A talking stick means that only the person holding the stick can talk.<\/strong> Of course, it doesn&rsquo;t have to be a literal stick, and you don&rsquo;t have to hit up your nearest hippie emporium (unless that&rsquo;s your thing, in which case, go for it). <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Simply pick an object and agree that whoever is holding it, is the one who talks, and the other person listens.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It&rsquo;s important not to get carried away and turn the talking stick into the ranting stick. Say your piece, then gracefully hand it over and let your partner have a turn.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>Another version of this methodology would be to set a timer for an agreed-upon time frame (could be 5 or 10 minutes), and each of you gets a turn to say their piece while the other is actively listening.<\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"2-Ask-each-other-questions\"><\/span>2. Ask each other questions<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-48773 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/07\/Ask-each-other-questions.jpg\" alt=\"Couple talking in cafe \" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span data-sheets-value='{\"1\":2,\"2\":\"communication is key in a relationship\"}' data-sheets-userformat='{\"2\":15105,\"3\":{\"1\":0},\"11\":0,\"12\":0,\"14\":[null,2,0],\"15\":\"Calibri\",\"16\":11}'>Communication is key in a relationship, and <strong>a<\/strong><\/span><strong>sking each other questions is a <a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/communication\/couple-counseling-exercises-to-improve-communication\/\">wonderful way to improve&nbsp;communication in marriage<\/a>.<\/strong> It&rsquo;s so easy to assume what our partner is thinking and base our feelings and decisions on that. &nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">But what if they were thinking of something else altogether? What if you assumed they weren&rsquo;t taking out the trash because they were lazy when actually the fact is that they were exhausted? The only way to find out is to ask them.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Sit down with your partner and take turns to ask each other questions and really listening to the answers. You can ask about specific issues you&rsquo;re having, or just ask some general questions to get into the habit of listening.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"3-Practice-mirroring-each-other%E2%80%99s-words\"><\/span>3. Practice mirroring each other&rsquo;s words<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Be honest, have you ever just switched off when your partner is talking? Or found yourself waiting impatiently for your turn to speak? <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">We&rsquo;ve all made a quick to-do list while our partner is sometimes talking. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It&rsquo;s not a terrible thing to do &ndash; it just shows that our minds are busy and we have a lot to do &ndash; but it isn&rsquo;t conducive to <span data-sheets-value='{\"1\":2,\"2\":\"how to communicate better in a relationship\"}' data-sheets-userformat='{\"2\":15105,\"3\":{\"1\":0},\"11\":0,\"12\":0,\"14\":[null,2,0],\"15\":\"Calibri\",\"16\":11}'>how to communicate better in a relationship<\/span>.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><strong>Instead of letting your mind wander, try &lsquo;<a href=\"https:\/\/www.wsj.com\/articles\/use-mirroring-to-connect-with-others-1474394329\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\">Mirroring<\/a>&lsquo; as a&nbsp;<\/strong><span data-sheets-value='{\"1\":2,\"2\":\"marriage communication exercise\"}' data-sheets-userformat='{\"2\":15105,\"3\":{\"1\":0},\"11\":0,\"12\":0,\"14\":[null,2,0],\"15\":\"Calibri\",\"16\":11}'><strong>marriage communication exercise<\/strong> to connect with your partner.&nbsp;<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In this exercise, each of you takes turns to listen to the other, and then when the current speaker is done, the listener mirrors back their words. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">So for example, if your partner needs to talk about childcare, you might listen carefully and then mirror back &ldquo;From what I&rsquo;m hearing, I get that you feel as if you take most of the responsibility for childcare, and that is stressing you out?&rdquo;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Do this without judgment. Simply listen and mirror. Both of you will feel more validated and have a deeper understanding of each other, too.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"4-Turn-off-your-phone\"><\/span>4. Turn off your phone<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<h2><b><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-48774 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/07\/turn-off-your-phone.jpg\" alt=\"Couple using their mobile phone \" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/b><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Our phones are so ubiquitous these days that scrolling through them or answering every &ldquo;ding&rdquo; you hear becomes second nature.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">However, our addiction to phones can play havoc in our relationships and cause a <span data-sheets-value='{\"1\":2,\"2\":\"lack of communication in marriage\"}' data-sheets-userformat='{\"2\":15105,\"3\":{\"1\":0},\"11\":0,\"12\":0,\"14\":[null,2,0],\"15\":\"Calibri\",\"16\":11}'>lack of communication in marriage<\/span>.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you&rsquo;re always on your phone, or you interrupt a conversation in progress to &ldquo;just check that&rdquo; when you hear a notification, it&rsquo;s hard to be fully present with your partner. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><strong>Being distracted becomes a way of life, and that causes marital communication problems.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Try switching your phones off for an agreed time, such as an hour each night, or every Sunday afternoon. &nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"5-Write-each-other-a-letter\"><\/span>5. Write each other a letter<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>Wondering&nbsp;<span data-sheets-value='{\"1\":2,\"2\":\"how to communicate in a relationship\"}' data-sheets-userformat='{\"2\":15105,\"3\":{\"1\":0},\"11\":0,\"12\":0,\"14\":[null,2,0],\"15\":\"Calibri\",\"16\":11}'>how to communicate in a relationship or&nbsp;<\/span><span data-sheets-value='{\"1\":2,\"2\":\"how to communicate with your spouse\"}' data-sheets-userformat='{\"2\":15105,\"3\":{\"1\":0},\"11\":0,\"12\":0,\"14\":[null,2,0],\"15\":\"Calibri\",\"16\":11}'>how to communicate with your spouse?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Sometimes it&rsquo;s hard to say what you want to say, or focus on what your partner needs to say to you. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Writing a letter is a wonderful way to focus on your thoughts and feelings, and you can think about <a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/romance\/romantic-gestures-how-to-express-yourself\/\">how to express yourself<\/a>, so you are clear and honest without being cruel or angry.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Reading a letter requires focus and concentration and encourages you to listen to your partner&rsquo;s words. Just <strong>remember to keep your letters respectful and gentle &ndash; they&rsquo;re not a vehicle for venting out frustration.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Marital communication problems don&rsquo;t spell doom for a relationship, especially marriage. Try out some different techniques and not before long, you&rsquo;ll learn to communicate more clearly and tackle your issues together.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false,"raw":""},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Marital communication problems can arise in even the strongest of marriages. After all, we&rsquo;re all humans, and none of us are mind readers. Misunderstandings, hurt feelings, and missed points are part and parcel of any human relationship, and marriage is no different. Dealing with communication issues in marriage&nbsp;as soon as they arise is a valuable skill for your marriage and your future together. It&rsquo;s all too easy for marital communication problems to fester and turn into resentments, and long-nursed hurts. You know when you&rsquo;ve hit a relationship communication problem, there&rsquo;s a feeling of tension and of something being unsatisfactory. You <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":675,"featured_media":48772,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[11],"tags":[2509],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16265"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/675"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=16265"}],"version-history":[{"count":16,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16265\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":77776,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16265\/revisions\/77776"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/48772"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=16265"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=16265"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=16265"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}