Moment<\/th>	Conversation closer<\/th>	Connection opener<\/th>\n<\/tr>\n<\/thead>\n
Your partner says they had a rough day<\/td>	Yeah, mine too.<\/td>	I'm sorry. What made it so rough?<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
They share something they're excited about<\/td>	Cool.\" (eyes on phone)<\/td>	That's great. Tell me more about it.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
They seem quiet at dinner<\/td>	What's your problem tonight?<\/td>	You seem a little far away. Want to talk, or would you rather sit together for a bit?<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
They bring up a worry<\/td>	You're overthinking it.<\/td>	That sounds stressful. What part worries you most?<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
They say they miss how things used to be<\/td>	We're fine. Don't start.<\/td>	I miss that too. What do you miss most?<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n<\/span><\/p>\n If your partner isn’t in the mood to talk<\/b>, don’t force it. Let them know you’d like to hear about it later, and keep showing up with small moments of warmth.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/span>10 Emotional Intimacy Exercises For Couples<\/b><\/span><\/h2>\n These activities to build emotional intimacy are short, low-pressure, and easy to fit into a busy week. You don’t need to try all ten. Pick one or two that feel natural and start there.<\/span><\/p>\n 1. Do a daily high-and-low check-in<\/b><\/h3>\n Each of you shares the best and hardest part of your day. It takes a few minutes, but it moves the conversation past logistics and gives you a regular window into each other’s inner world. Over time, it can become a small ritual you both look forward to.<\/span><\/p>\n How to try it<\/b><\/h4>\n \n Pick a set time, like dinner or right before bed.<\/span><\/li>\n Share one high and one low, and keep phones out of reach.<\/span><\/li>\n Ask one follow-up question about your partner’s low.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n RELATED READING : <\/span>43 Relationship Check-in Questions for You & Your Partner<\/a><\/span><\/div><\/div>\n 2. Ask questions that go deeper than “How was your day?”<\/b><\/h3>\n Routine questions get routine answers. Questions about hopes, fears, memories, or what’s been on someone’s mind invite a different kind of conversation. Asking with curiosity and being willing to answer the same questions yourself helps both of you open up gradually.<\/span><\/p>\n Deeper questions can do more than you might expect.<\/span><\/p>\n Researchers led by Keith Welker at<\/span> Wayne State University<\/span><\/a> studied about 150 couples. Couples who answered increasingly personal questions with another couple reported more passionate love afterward than couples who stuck to small talk.<\/span><\/p><\/div>\n How to try it<\/b><\/h4>\n\n Start light, with something like a favorite childhood memory, before going deeper.<\/span><\/li>\n Take turns asking and answering the same question.<\/span><\/li>\n Try one <\/span>deeper question<\/span><\/a> a week, such as what they’ve been worried about lately.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n 3. Share one specific appreciation every day<\/b><\/h3>\n $\"Loving$ <\/p>\n A general “thanks” is nice, but a specific appreciation lands differently. Naming exactly what your partner did, and why it mattered to you, shows you’re paying attention. It also makes it easier for both of you to notice the good, even on hard days.<\/span><\/p>\n How to try it<\/b><\/h5>\n\n Name one specific thing your partner did today.<\/span><\/li>\n Add why it mattered to you.<\/span><\/li>\n Send it by text on busy days if you can’t say it in person.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n RELATED READING : <\/span>6 Ways to Appreciate and Value Your Spouse<\/a><\/span><\/div><\/div>\n 4. Listen to understand, not to fix<\/b><\/h3>\n When your partner shares something hard, the urge to solve it can kick in fast. Often, what they need first is to feel heard. Reflecting back what you hear and asking before offering advice can make sharing feel safer for both of you.<\/span><\/p>\n How to try it<\/b><\/h4>\n\n Put your phone down and turn toward them.<\/span><\/li>\n Repeat back what you heard in a sentence or two.<\/span><\/li>\n Ask whether they’d like advice or a <\/span>listening<\/span><\/a> ear.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n 5. Celebrate each other’s good news<\/b><\/h3>\n How you respond to good news matters, too. A distracted “nice” can feel deflating, while real interest and questions help your partner savor the moment. Showing enthusiasm for their wins sends a simple message: you care about what matters to them.<\/span><\/p>\n How to try it<\/b><\/h4>\n \n Stop what you’re doing when they share good news.<\/span><\/li>\n Ask a question or two about how it happened.<\/span><\/li>\n Mark bigger wins with a small celebration, like their favorite takeout.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n 6. Try a few minutes of quiet eye contact<\/b><\/h3>\n Sitting face-to-face and holding eye contact for a few minutes can feel awkward at first. That awkwardness is part of it. The exercise slows you down and asks you to be fully present, which some couples find surprisingly moving.<\/span><\/p>\n How to try it<\/b><\/h4>\n\n Start with two minutes, using a timer.<\/span><\/li>\n If you laugh, that’s fine. Settle back in when you’re ready.<\/span><\/li>\n Afterward, share one thing you noticed or felt.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n 7. Swap stories from your past<\/b><\/h3>\n Even in long relationships, there are stories you haven’t heard. Sharing memories from childhood, past friendships, or turning points in your life helps your partner understand how you became who you are. It also gives you new things to be curious about.<\/span><\/p>\n How to try it<\/b><\/h4>\n \n Pick a theme, like a favorite teacher or a scary moment.<\/span><\/li>\n Look through old photos together as a prompt.<\/span><\/li>\n Ask how that experience still shows up in their life today.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n RELATED READING : <\/span>25+ Best Ways of Making Memories Together as a Couple<\/a><\/span><\/div><\/div>\n 8. Write each other a letter<\/b><\/h3>\n Writing gives you time to find the right words, especially for feelings that are hard to say out loud. A letter about what you love, what you’ve noticed, or what you hope for can become something your partner keeps and rereads.<\/span><\/p>\n How to try it<\/b><\/h4>\n \n Write by hand if you can, even if it’s a short note.<\/span><\/li>\n Include one memory, one appreciation, and one hope.<\/span><\/li>\n Exchange letters, and read them when you both have time to take them in.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n 9. Dream about the future together<\/b><\/h3>\n Talking about the future, from next year’s trip to where you hope to be in ten years, reminds you that you’re on the same team. Sharing dreams also reveals what matters most to each of you, even when your plans don’t perfectly match.<\/span><\/p>\n How to try it<\/b><\/h4>\n \n Each list three things you’d love to do together someday.<\/span><\/li>\n Talk about what draws you to each one.<\/span><\/li>\n Pick one small step toward a shared dream that you could take this month.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n Watch this video by Dr. Ana, a psychologist, who shares practical ways to build emotional intimacy through trust, vulnerability, communication, and acceptance.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n <span data-mce-type=\"bookmark\" style=\"display: inline-block; width: 0px; overflow: hidden; line-height: 0;\" class=\"mce_SELRES_start\"><\/span><\/iframe><\/p>\n<h3><b>10. Hold a weekly relationship check-in<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">A regular check-in gives you a set time to talk about how the relationship is going, beyond daily logistics. You can share what’s working, what’s felt hard, and what you’d like more of. Knowing the conversation is coming can make small issues easier to raise.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Regular check-ins are less common than you might think.<\/span><\/p>\n<div class=\"research_highlight\"><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> In a<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/research\/couples-survey-avoid-key-conversations\/\"> <span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Marriage.com survey of 2,399 US adults<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> in committed relationships, only 9.5% said they schedule regular relationship check-ins to improve communication. Even a short weekly habit is a good place to start.<\/span><\/p><\/div>\n<h4><b>How to try it<\/b><\/h4>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Choose a regular day, and keep it to 20 or 30 minutes.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Start with appreciation before raising anything hard.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">End by agreeing on one small thing to try in the coming week.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"When-Exercises-Aren%E2%80%99t-Enough\"><\/span><b>When Exercises Aren’t Enough<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><b>If you ever feel unsafe with your partner, help is available.<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> You can reach the National Domestic Violence Hotline by calling 800.799.SAFE (7233), chatting with an advocate at<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.thehotline.org\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"> <span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">thehotline.org<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, or texting START to 88788. If you’re having thoughts of self-harm, call or text 988. If you’re in immediate danger, call 911.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Emotional intimacy exercises tend to work best when both partners feel safe and willing. They aren’t a fix for every problem.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">They may not be enough if the distance comes from:<\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Ongoing betrayal or a recent affair that hasn’t been worked through.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Contempt, mocking, or regular put-downs.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Control, threats, or anything that makes you afraid.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Depression, anxiety, or other struggles that make connecting hard.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">One partner consistently refuses to engage.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In those situations, support from a counselor, for one or both of you, can help you understand what’s happening and what you need.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you feel unsafe or controlled, you might speak with a counselor on your own, or with an advocate:<\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><b>Your options.<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> Some people choose to work on the relationship with professional support. Some choose to leave. Both are legitimate paths, and only you can weigh your own situation.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><b>Safety planning.<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> An advocate can explain what safety planning generally involves, such as thinking ahead about who you’d contact and where you could go if you needed to.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"FAQs\"><\/span><b>FAQs<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Still have questions? Here are answers to some common ones, from how often to practice to what to do if your partner isn’t on board.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><style>#sp-ea-124283 .spcollapsing { height: 0; overflow: hidden; transition-property: height;transition-duration: 300ms;}#sp-ea-124283.sp-easy-accordion>.sp-ea-single {border: 1px solid #e2e2e2; }#sp-ea-124283.sp-easy-accordion>.sp-ea-single>.ea-header a {color: #444;}#sp-ea-124283.sp-easy-accordion>.sp-ea-single>.sp-collapse>.ea-body {background: #fff; color: #444;}#sp-ea-124283.sp-easy-accordion>.sp-ea-single {background: #eee;}#sp-ea-124283.sp-easy-accordion>.sp-ea-single>.ea-header a .ea-expand-icon.fa { float: left; color: #444;font-size: 16px;}<\/style><div id=\"sp-ea-124283\" class=\"sp-ea-one sp-easy-accordion\" data-ex-icon=\"fa-angle-up\" data-col-icon=\"fa-angle-down\" data-ea-active=\"ea-click\" data-ea-mode=\"vertical\" data-preloader=\"\" data-scroll-active-item=\"\" data-offset-to-scroll=\"0\"><div class=\"ea-card ea-expand sp-ea-single\"><h3 class=\"ea-header\"><a class=\"collapsed\" data-sptoggle=\"spcollapse\" data-sptarget=#collapse1242830 href=\"javascript:void(0)\" aria-expanded=\"true\"><i class=\"ea-expand-icon fa fa-angle-up\"><\/i> How often should we do emotional intimacy exercises?<\/a><\/h3><div class=\"sp-collapse spcollapse collapsed show\" id=\"collapse1242830\" data-parent=#sp-ea-124283><div class=\"ea-body\"><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">There's no set rule. One easy approach is to start with a short daily habit, like a high-and-low check-in, plus one longer exercise each week. Consistency usually matters more than length.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div><div class=\"ea-card sp-ea-single\"><h3 class=\"ea-header\"><a class=\"collapsed\" data-sptoggle=\"spcollapse\" data-sptarget=#collapse1242831 href=\"javascript:void(0)\" aria-expanded=\"false\"><i class=\"ea-expand-icon fa fa-angle-down\"><\/i> What if my partner isn't interested?<\/a><\/h3><div class=\"sp-collapse spcollapse \" id=\"collapse1242831\" data-parent=#sp-ea-124283><div class=\"ea-body\"><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Start small and low-pressure, without calling it an exercise. Sharing an appreciation or asking a curious question can feel more natural than a formal activity. If they still resist, gently ask what makes it feel uncomfortable.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div><div class=\"ea-card sp-ea-single\"><h3 class=\"ea-header\"><a class=\"collapsed\" data-sptoggle=\"spcollapse\" data-sptarget=#collapse1242832 href=\"javascript:void(0)\" aria-expanded=\"false\"><i class=\"ea-expand-icon fa fa-angle-down\"><\/i> Are there intimacy exercises for couples in long-distance relationships?<\/a><\/h3><div class=\"sp-collapse spcollapse \" id=\"collapse1242832\" data-parent=#sp-ea-124283><div class=\"ea-body\"><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yes. Many of these work well over video or text, including high-and-low check-ins, deeper questions, appreciation messages, and letters. A regular scheduled call can serve as your weekly check-in.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div><div class=\"ea-card sp-ea-single\"><h3 class=\"ea-header\"><a class=\"collapsed\" data-sptoggle=\"spcollapse\" data-sptarget=#collapse1242833 href=\"javascript:void(0)\" aria-expanded=\"false\"><i class=\"ea-expand-icon fa fa-angle-down\"><\/i> How long does it take to feel closer?<\/a><\/h3><div class=\"sp-collapse spcollapse \" id=\"collapse1242833\" data-parent=#sp-ea-124283><div class=\"ea-body\"><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It varies. Some couples notice a difference after a few conversations, while others need more time, especially after a long stretch of distance. Small, regular effort tends to matter more than one big gesture.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div><div class=\"ea-card sp-ea-single\"><h3 class=\"ea-header\"><a class=\"collapsed\" data-sptoggle=\"spcollapse\" data-sptarget=#collapse1242834 href=\"javascript:void(0)\" aria-expanded=\"false\"><i class=\"ea-expand-icon fa fa-angle-down\"><\/i> When should we see a counselor?<\/a><\/h3><div class=\"sp-collapse spcollapse \" id=\"collapse1242834\" data-parent=#sp-ea-124283><div class=\"ea-body\"><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It may help if you still feel distant after trying these for a while, if old hurts keep getting in the way, or if one of you feels unsafe opening up. <\/span><\/p>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Small-Moments-Closer-Bond\"><\/span><b>Small Moments, Closer Bond<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Feeling close doesn’t depend on grand gestures. More often, it grows from small, repeated moments of sharing and being heard. Emotional intimacy exercises give those moments a little structure, especially when life gets busy. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Pick one exercise from this list to try this week, and keep it simple. If it feels awkward at first, that’s normal. If distance lingers despite your efforts, a counselor can help you both find your way back to each other.<\/span><\/p>\n\n","protected":false,"raw":""},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>It’s 9 p.m. You’re both on the couch, both on your phones, sitting a foot apart. Nothing’s wrong, exactly. But you realize you can’t remember the last time you talked about anything that mattered. Emotional distance rarely comes from one big fight. It usually builds quietly, through busy weeks and conversations that never go deeper than logistics. Emotional intimacy exercises are simple, regular activities that help you share feelings, listen closely, and feel understood by each other. Even a few minutes at a time can help you start feeling closer again. This guide walks through what these exercises are, what <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":228,"featured_media":124287,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[24],"tags":[2527],"class_list":["post-15859","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-emotional-intimacy","tag-nurture-emotional-connection","has_thumb"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15859","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/228"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=15859"}],"version-history":[{"count":9,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15859\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":124289,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15859\/revisions\/124289"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/124287"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=15859"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=15859"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=15859"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}

RELATED READING : <\/span>43 Relationship Check-in Questions for You & Your Partner<\/a><\/span><\/div><\/div>\n

2. Ask questions that go deeper than “How was your day?”<\/b><\/h3>\n
Routine questions get routine answers. Questions about hopes, fears, memories, or what’s been on someone’s mind invite a different kind of conversation. Asking with curiosity and being willing to answer the same questions yourself helps both of you open up gradually.<\/span><\/p>\n
Deeper questions can do more than you might expect.<\/span><\/p>\n
Researchers led by Keith Welker at<\/span> Wayne State University<\/span><\/a> studied about 150 couples. Couples who answered increasingly personal questions with another couple reported more passionate love afterward than couples who stuck to small talk.<\/span><\/p><\/div>\n
How to try it<\/b><\/h4>\n\n
Start light, with something like a favorite childhood memory, before going deeper.<\/span><\/li>\n
Take turns asking and answering the same question.<\/span><\/li>\n
Try one <\/span>deeper question<\/span><\/a> a week, such as what they’ve been worried about lately.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
3. Share one specific appreciation every day<\/b><\/h3>\n
$\"Loving$ <\/p>\n
A general “thanks” is nice, but a specific appreciation lands differently. Naming exactly what your partner did, and why it mattered to you, shows you’re paying attention. It also makes it easier for both of you to notice the good, even on hard days.<\/span><\/p>\n
How to try it<\/b><\/h5>\n\n
Name one specific thing your partner did today.<\/span><\/li>\n
Add why it mattered to you.<\/span><\/li>\n
Send it by text on busy days if you can’t say it in person.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
RELATED READING : <\/span>6 Ways to Appreciate and Value Your Spouse<\/a><\/span><\/div><\/div>\n
4. Listen to understand, not to fix<\/b><\/h3>\n
When your partner shares something hard, the urge to solve it can kick in fast. Often, what they need first is to feel heard. Reflecting back what you hear and asking before offering advice can make sharing feel safer for both of you.<\/span><\/p>\n
How to try it<\/b><\/h4>\n\n
Put your phone down and turn toward them.<\/span><\/li>\n
Repeat back what you heard in a sentence or two.<\/span><\/li>\n
Ask whether they’d like advice or a <\/span>listening<\/span><\/a> ear.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
5. Celebrate each other’s good news<\/b><\/h3>\n
How you respond to good news matters, too. A distracted “nice” can feel deflating, while real interest and questions help your partner savor the moment. Showing enthusiasm for their wins sends a simple message: you care about what matters to them.<\/span><\/p>\n
How to try it<\/b><\/h4>\n
\n
Stop what you’re doing when they share good news.<\/span><\/li>\n
Ask a question or two about how it happened.<\/span><\/li>\n
Mark bigger wins with a small celebration, like their favorite takeout.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
6. Try a few minutes of quiet eye contact<\/b><\/h3>\n
Sitting face-to-face and holding eye contact for a few minutes can feel awkward at first. That awkwardness is part of it. The exercise slows you down and asks you to be fully present, which some couples find surprisingly moving.<\/span><\/p>\n
How to try it<\/b><\/h4>\n\n
Start with two minutes, using a timer.<\/span><\/li>\n
If you laugh, that’s fine. Settle back in when you’re ready.<\/span><\/li>\n
Afterward, share one thing you noticed or felt.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
7. Swap stories from your past<\/b><\/h3>\n
Even in long relationships, there are stories you haven’t heard. Sharing memories from childhood, past friendships, or turning points in your life helps your partner understand how you became who you are. It also gives you new things to be curious about.<\/span><\/p>\n
How to try it<\/b><\/h4>\n
\n
Pick a theme, like a favorite teacher or a scary moment.<\/span><\/li>\n
Look through old photos together as a prompt.<\/span><\/li>\n
Ask how that experience still shows up in their life today.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
RELATED READING : <\/span>25+ Best Ways of Making Memories Together as a Couple<\/a><\/span><\/div><\/div>\n
8. Write each other a letter<\/b><\/h3>\n
Writing gives you time to find the right words, especially for feelings that are hard to say out loud. A letter about what you love, what you’ve noticed, or what you hope for can become something your partner keeps and rereads.<\/span><\/p>\n
How to try it<\/b><\/h4>\n
\n
Write by hand if you can, even if it’s a short note.<\/span><\/li>\n
Include one memory, one appreciation, and one hope.<\/span><\/li>\n
Exchange letters, and read them when you both have time to take them in.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
9. Dream about the future together<\/b><\/h3>\n
Talking about the future, from next year’s trip to where you hope to be in ten years, reminds you that you’re on the same team. Sharing dreams also reveals what matters most to each of you, even when your plans don’t perfectly match.<\/span><\/p>\n
How to try it<\/b><\/h4>\n
\n
Each list three things you’d love to do together someday.<\/span><\/li>\n
Talk about what draws you to each one.<\/span><\/li>\n
Pick one small step toward a shared dream that you could take this month.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
Watch this video by Dr. Ana, a psychologist, who shares practical ways to build emotional intimacy through trust, vulnerability, communication, and acceptance.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n
<span data-mce-type=\"bookmark\" style=\"display: inline-block; width: 0px; overflow: hidden; line-height: 0;\" class=\"mce_SELRES_start\"><\/span><\/iframe><\/p>\n<h3><b>10. Hold a weekly relationship check-in<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">A regular check-in gives you a set time to talk about how the relationship is going, beyond daily logistics. You can share what’s working, what’s felt hard, and what you’d like more of. Knowing the conversation is coming can make small issues easier to raise.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Regular check-ins are less common than you might think.<\/span><\/p>\n<div class=\"research_highlight\"><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> In a<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/research\/couples-survey-avoid-key-conversations\/\"> <span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Marriage.com survey of 2,399 US adults<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> in committed relationships, only 9.5% said they schedule regular relationship check-ins to improve communication. Even a short weekly habit is a good place to start.<\/span><\/p><\/div>\n<h4><b>How to try it<\/b><\/h4>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Choose a regular day, and keep it to 20 or 30 minutes.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Start with appreciation before raising anything hard.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">End by agreeing on one small thing to try in the coming week.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"When-Exercises-Aren%E2%80%99t-Enough\"><\/span><b>When Exercises Aren’t Enough<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><b>If you ever feel unsafe with your partner, help is available.<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> You can reach the National Domestic Violence Hotline by calling 800.799.SAFE (7233), chatting with an advocate at<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.thehotline.org\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"> <span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">thehotline.org<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, or texting START to 88788. If you’re having thoughts of self-harm, call or text 988. If you’re in immediate danger, call 911.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Emotional intimacy exercises tend to work best when both partners feel safe and willing. They aren’t a fix for every problem.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">They may not be enough if the distance comes from:<\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Ongoing betrayal or a recent affair that hasn’t been worked through.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Contempt, mocking, or regular put-downs.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Control, threats, or anything that makes you afraid.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Depression, anxiety, or other struggles that make connecting hard.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">One partner consistently refuses to engage.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In those situations, support from a counselor, for one or both of you, can help you understand what’s happening and what you need.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you feel unsafe or controlled, you might speak with a counselor on your own, or with an advocate:<\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><b>Your options.<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> Some people choose to work on the relationship with professional support. Some choose to leave. Both are legitimate paths, and only you can weigh your own situation.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><b>Safety planning.<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> An advocate can explain what safety planning generally involves, such as thinking ahead about who you’d contact and where you could go if you needed to.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"FAQs\"><\/span><b>FAQs<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Still have questions? Here are answers to some common ones, from how often to practice to what to do if your partner isn’t on board.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><style>#sp-ea-124283 .spcollapsing { height: 0; overflow: hidden; transition-property: height;transition-duration: 300ms;}#sp-ea-124283.sp-easy-accordion>.sp-ea-single {border: 1px solid #e2e2e2; }#sp-ea-124283.sp-easy-accordion>.sp-ea-single>.ea-header a {color: #444;}#sp-ea-124283.sp-easy-accordion>.sp-ea-single>.sp-collapse>.ea-body {background: #fff; color: #444;}#sp-ea-124283.sp-easy-accordion>.sp-ea-single {background: #eee;}#sp-ea-124283.sp-easy-accordion>.sp-ea-single>.ea-header a .ea-expand-icon.fa { float: left; color: #444;font-size: 16px;}<\/style><div id=\"sp-ea-124283\" class=\"sp-ea-one sp-easy-accordion\" data-ex-icon=\"fa-angle-up\" data-col-icon=\"fa-angle-down\" data-ea-active=\"ea-click\" data-ea-mode=\"vertical\" data-preloader=\"\" data-scroll-active-item=\"\" data-offset-to-scroll=\"0\"><div class=\"ea-card ea-expand sp-ea-single\"><h3 class=\"ea-header\"><a class=\"collapsed\" data-sptoggle=\"spcollapse\" data-sptarget=#collapse1242830 href=\"javascript:void(0)\" aria-expanded=\"true\"><i class=\"ea-expand-icon fa fa-angle-up\"><\/i> How often should we do emotional intimacy exercises?<\/a><\/h3><div class=\"sp-collapse spcollapse collapsed show\" id=\"collapse1242830\" data-parent=#sp-ea-124283><div class=\"ea-body\"><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">There's no set rule. One easy approach is to start with a short daily habit, like a high-and-low check-in, plus one longer exercise each week. Consistency usually matters more than length.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div><div class=\"ea-card sp-ea-single\"><h3 class=\"ea-header\"><a class=\"collapsed\" data-sptoggle=\"spcollapse\" data-sptarget=#collapse1242831 href=\"javascript:void(0)\" aria-expanded=\"false\"><i class=\"ea-expand-icon fa fa-angle-down\"><\/i> What if my partner isn't interested?<\/a><\/h3><div class=\"sp-collapse spcollapse \" id=\"collapse1242831\" data-parent=#sp-ea-124283><div class=\"ea-body\"><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Start small and low-pressure, without calling it an exercise. Sharing an appreciation or asking a curious question can feel more natural than a formal activity. If they still resist, gently ask what makes it feel uncomfortable.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div><div class=\"ea-card sp-ea-single\"><h3 class=\"ea-header\"><a class=\"collapsed\" data-sptoggle=\"spcollapse\" data-sptarget=#collapse1242832 href=\"javascript:void(0)\" aria-expanded=\"false\"><i class=\"ea-expand-icon fa fa-angle-down\"><\/i> Are there intimacy exercises for couples in long-distance relationships?<\/a><\/h3><div class=\"sp-collapse spcollapse \" id=\"collapse1242832\" data-parent=#sp-ea-124283><div class=\"ea-body\"><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yes. Many of these work well over video or text, including high-and-low check-ins, deeper questions, appreciation messages, and letters. A regular scheduled call can serve as your weekly check-in.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div><div class=\"ea-card sp-ea-single\"><h3 class=\"ea-header\"><a class=\"collapsed\" data-sptoggle=\"spcollapse\" data-sptarget=#collapse1242833 href=\"javascript:void(0)\" aria-expanded=\"false\"><i class=\"ea-expand-icon fa fa-angle-down\"><\/i> How long does it take to feel closer?<\/a><\/h3><div class=\"sp-collapse spcollapse \" id=\"collapse1242833\" data-parent=#sp-ea-124283><div class=\"ea-body\"><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It varies. Some couples notice a difference after a few conversations, while others need more time, especially after a long stretch of distance. Small, regular effort tends to matter more than one big gesture.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div><div class=\"ea-card sp-ea-single\"><h3 class=\"ea-header\"><a class=\"collapsed\" data-sptoggle=\"spcollapse\" data-sptarget=#collapse1242834 href=\"javascript:void(0)\" aria-expanded=\"false\"><i class=\"ea-expand-icon fa fa-angle-down\"><\/i> When should we see a counselor?<\/a><\/h3><div class=\"sp-collapse spcollapse \" id=\"collapse1242834\" data-parent=#sp-ea-124283><div class=\"ea-body\"><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It may help if you still feel distant after trying these for a while, if old hurts keep getting in the way, or if one of you feels unsafe opening up. <\/span><\/p>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Small-Moments-Closer-Bond\"><\/span><b>Small Moments, Closer Bond<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Feeling close doesn’t depend on grand gestures. More often, it grows from small, repeated moments of sharing and being heard. Emotional intimacy exercises give those moments a little structure, especially when life gets busy. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Pick one exercise from this list to try this week, and keep it simple. If it feels awkward at first, that’s normal. If distance lingers despite your efforts, a counselor can help you both find your way back to each other.<\/span><\/p>\n\n","protected":false,"raw":""},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>It’s 9 p.m. You’re both on the couch, both on your phones, sitting a foot apart. Nothing’s wrong, exactly. But you realize you can’t remember the last time you talked about anything that mattered. Emotional distance rarely comes from one big fight. It usually builds quietly, through busy weeks and conversations that never go deeper than logistics. Emotional intimacy exercises are simple, regular activities that help you share feelings, listen closely, and feel understood by each other. Even a few minutes at a time can help you start feeling closer again. This guide walks through what these exercises are, what <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":228,"featured_media":124287,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[24],"tags":[2527],"class_list":["post-15859","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-emotional-intimacy","tag-nurture-emotional-connection","has_thumb"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15859","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/228"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=15859"}],"version-history":[{"count":9,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15859\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":124289,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15859\/revisions\/124289"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/124287"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=15859"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=15859"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=15859"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}