

{"id":15845,"date":"2017-07-14T12:23:17","date_gmt":"2017-07-14T12:23:17","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/?p=15845"},"modified":"2023-06-20T09:32:04","modified_gmt":"2023-06-20T09:32:04","slug":"effective-communication-with-your-spouse","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/communication\/effective-communication-with-your-spouse\/","title":{"rendered":"5 Steps to Effective Communication With Your Spouse"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"wp-image-16126 size-full alignnone\" title=\"Effective Communication With Your Spouse\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/29120716\/Effective-Communication-With-Your-Spouse.jpg\" alt=\"Effective Communication With Your Spouse\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<p>An open exchange of emotion, desires, and beliefs is the true hallmark of effective communication with your spouse. However, h<span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">aving effective communication with your spouse can seem like a daunting task to learn.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Looking back, try to remember a time when each of you communicated with one another very fluidly.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It was as if you were the same person &ndash; like you could read each other&rsquo;s minds.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">While marriage does not change the ability to communicate with the person you love, it can incorporate additional stresses.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Instead of being carefree in a budding, romantic relationship, you find yourselves drudging through the mundane day-to-day chores, leading to a lack <a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/communication\/communication-between-married-couples\/\">of&nbsp;effective communication in marriage<\/a>.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">As you age and grow in your marriage, the ways in which you talk and act can alter; it is important to continue to learn about yourself and your spouse in order to adapt to these changes and facilitate healthy&nbsp;couples communications.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Marriage-thrives-on-healthy-marriage-communication\"><\/span>Marriage thrives on healthy marriage communication<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Equipping yourself with the right set of relationship communication skills is a prerequisite to enjoying a stronger love bond and&nbsp;healthy communication with your spouse.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Try the following pointers on&nbsp;effective communication with your spouse alongside&nbsp;communication counseling. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Regardless of your age or the length of your relationship, following these communication tips for couples and&nbsp;steps of effective communication can go a long way in maintaining a happy relationship.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><strong>Everything you need to know about learning to communicate effectively<\/strong><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"1-Listen-to-your-spouse\"><\/span>1. Listen to your spouse<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Many of us do not listen to understand what the other person is saying; most will listen in order to respond. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Rather than trying to know how your spouse is feeling or what they are thinking, you may find yourself considering what you plan to say next. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Playing defensive can be instrumental in the breakdown of communication between spouses. Instead of routinely considering how you will present your own information, take out time to actively listen to your spouse. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">On how to communicate effectively with your spouse, be intentional about how you are presenting yourself in the conversation and engage with your spouse in conversation. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Give the other person plenty of time to speak and be willing to set aside your current desires in order to fully hear and understand what your partner is saying.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Listening is an art and goes a long way in having effective communication with your spouse or any other person for that matter.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"2-Use-verbal-and-nonverbal-language\"><\/span>2. Use verbal and nonverbal language<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">As mentioned before, it is important when <a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/communication\/5-effective-strategies-for-communicating-with-your-spouse\/\">communicating with your spouse<\/a> to be present in the conversation both verbally and nonverbally. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It is easy to become lax and reduce your awareness of body language and other nonverbal cues, but they will not be missed by your spouse! <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Crossed arms, avoidant eye contact, the &ldquo;silent treatment,&rdquo; and eye-rolling, while not verbal, communicate a clear message to your spouse. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Be sure to use body posture and gestures that indicate you are listening and are fully invested in what your significant other has to say. That is one of the&nbsp;relationship communication tips that couples can follow to enjoy a healthy marriage.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You may not be in agreement, but appropriate words, tone of voice, and body language can make a significant difference in the effectiveness of what is being communicated.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"3-Understand-how-your-spouse-communicates\"><\/span>3. Understand how your spouse communicates<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-44842 size-full\" title=\"Understanding how your spouse communicates\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/07\/Understanding-how-your-spouse-communicates.jpg\" alt=\"Understanding how your spouse communicates\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.huffpost.com\/entry\/are-you-listening-relatio_b_9769642\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\">Listening<\/a> and giving the appearance of investment are important, but so is understanding how your partner communicates. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Is your spouse one who takes time to think of what he or she wants to say before actually saying it? <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Does your spouse become quiet when angry? Do you know when your partner may need space before proceeding with the conversation? <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It is vital to take into consideration how your spouse chooses to communicate; if waiting to have the conversation is appropriate and is what your partner needs, then by all means wait! <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If there is something about the way your spouse communicates that is incompatible with your methods, take time when you are engaged in <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/communication\/healthy-communication-for-couples\/\">positive and healthy <\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/communication\/healthy-communication-for-couples\/\">communication<\/a> before discussing how a compromise could be made.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"4-Practice-patience\"><\/span>4. Practice patience<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">No one likes to work on their level of patience! But it is one of the most required&nbsp;communication skills for couples that people in relationships need to cultivate.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Being mindful of the needs of others may come easy for you, but this does not mean being patient with your spouse is just as simple!&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Living with someone day in and day out can at times become very frustrating. Your husband forgot to take out the trash on trash day; your wife did not buy the ice cream you asked for when she went grocery shopping; your husband forgot to pay the electric bill before it was due. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It is not difficult to become frustrated or even angry about things like these &ndash; it is vital to use those moments to take a deep breath and practice patience.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Effective communication techniques can help you in deflecting<a href=\"https:\/\/www.verywellmind.com\/the-toll-of-conflict-in-relationships-3144952\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"> stress arising out of conflicting conversations in a relationship.<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">One aspect of working on communication skills in a relationship involves cultivating patience and not thrusting stressful conversations on our partners.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p>Relationships need a strong presence of patience and appreciation for the virtues of each other.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">C<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">ommunication between couples can improve by manifold if both partners learn how to have more patience in their relationship.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">There may have been something preventing your spouse from doing what needed to be done or what was asked of them.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Wait until you are able to have a calm conversation with your spouse; do not approach in anger but rather from a place of understanding. Life happens! &nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p>Also watch:<\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"YouTube video player\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/gh5VhaicC6g\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><span data-mce-type=\"bookmark\" style=\"display: inline-block; width: 0px; overflow: hidden; line-height: 0;\" class=\"mce_SELRES_start\">&#65279;<\/span><\/iframe><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"5-Be-mindful-of-your-words\"><\/span>5. Be mindful of your words<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-44843 size-full\" title=\"Be mindful of your words\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/07\/Be-mindful-of-your-words.jpg\" alt=\"Be mindful of your words\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Above all else, be mindful of the words you choose to use when talking with your husband or wife. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Words have power!&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You can either speak life and positivity into your spouse or tear your partner down by berating and belittling with negative words. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Words can hurt or they can heal &ndash; you are the one who chooses what your words are capable of doing.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>If you wish to have effective communication with spouse and avoid <a href=\"https:\/\/www.cosmopolitan.com\/sex-love\/a22106563\/dumb-couple-fights\/\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\">unnecessary&nbsp;squabbles<\/a> over trivial matters, you need to be mindful of what you say and the words you choose to convey your message to your partner.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Why communication skills therapy can be the answer<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>If you feel you are unable to let go of poor communication habits in your relationships, here are some effective <a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/communication\/claiming-better-language-couples-therapy-exercises-for-communication\/\">couple exercises for communication<\/a> that will help you navigate the challenges of marital communication and foster healthy marriage communication.<\/p>\n<p>However, sometimes you need professional expertise in keeping track of where you go wrong in maintaining&nbsp;effective communication with your spouse.<\/p>\n<p>Seeking the help of a <a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/therapy\/seeing-a-therapist\/\">marriage therapist<\/a> can help you in identifying the roadblocks to healthy marriage communication and get the right tools in place on how to communicate effectively in a relationship.<\/p>\n<p>You can benefit largely by seeing a counselor who specializes in <a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/counseling\/marriage-counseling-vs-couples-therapy\/\">marriage counseling or couples therapy<\/a> as they make you undergo couples therapy exercises for communication, and provide you a&nbsp;safe place to have the conversations that need to be addressed.<\/p>\n<p>By improving communication skills in a relationship you will learn to circumvent potential spats, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.gottman.com\/blog\/3-steps-reconnect-feel-disconnected-partner\/\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\">disconnection in relationships<\/a> and move toward coming together and not going further apart.<\/p>\n","protected":false,"raw":""},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>An open exchange of emotion, desires, and beliefs is the true hallmark of effective communication with your spouse. However, having effective communication with your spouse can seem like a daunting task to learn. Looking back, try to remember a time when each of you communicated with one another very fluidly.&nbsp; It was as if you were the same person &ndash; like you could read each other&rsquo;s minds.&nbsp; While marriage does not change the ability to communicate with the person you love, it can incorporate additional stresses.&nbsp; Instead of being carefree in a budding, romantic relationship, you find yourselves drudging through <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":675,"featured_media":15887,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[11],"tags":[2516],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15845"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/675"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=15845"}],"version-history":[{"count":18,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15845\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":86876,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15845\/revisions\/86876"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/15887"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=15845"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=15845"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=15845"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}