{"id":13360,"date":"2017-02-17T11:32:35","date_gmt":"2017-02-17T11:32:35","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/?p=13360"},"modified":"2026-01-04T07:30:35","modified_gmt":"2026-01-04T07:30:35","slug":"helping-step-siblings-get-along","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/parenting\/helping-step-siblings-get-along\/","title":{"rendered":"Helping Step Siblings Get Along"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

\"Helping<\/p>\n

Sibling rivalry can cause animosity in even the most well-adjusted families. <\/span><\/p>\n

As kids grow and learn about themselves and their place in the world, a certain amount of sibling rivalry is to be expected. <\/span><\/p>\n

Trying to keep the peace when children are fighting is a challenge most parents of more than one child have to face at some point.<\/span><\/p>\n

If you have stepchildren, the opportunities for sibling rivalry and jealousy between step siblings increase. <\/span><\/p>\n

Step siblings relationship<\/span><\/strong><\/a> can be very tumultuous and tend to show more <\/span><\/strong>aggressive behavior<\/span><\/strong><\/a> <\/span><\/strong>because putting children who don’t know each other together under one roof can quickly lead to fights. <\/span><\/p>\n

Add in the fact that your stepchildren are <\/span>trying to adjust to their parents’ separation<\/span><\/a>, and your own children don’t like sharing you with their new siblings, and you have a recipe for fights.<\/span><\/p>\n

Is it possible for step siblings to get along? <\/span><\/p>\n

Absolutely yes, but it does take time, commitment, patience, and <\/span>good boundaries from both parents<\/span><\/a>. Here are some tips to help you mediate between step siblings and build a more peaceful family life.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>Set standards of behavior<\/span><\/span><\/h2>\n

To help your stepchildren in getting along with family, you should sit down with your partner and agree on standards of behavior that you expect from all children and teenagers in your household. <\/span><\/p>\n

Spell out ground rules from the obvious (no hitting each other) to the more subtle (be willing to share communal items such as the TV, or time with each parent).<\/span><\/p>\n

Once you have your ground rules in place, communicate them to your kids and stepkids. <\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

Decide how you’re going to respond to infractions – will you take away phone or TV privileges, for example. Be consistent and fair in applying your new ground rules to everyone.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>Be a good role model<\/span><\/h2>\n

\"Be<\/p>\n

How to get along with stepchildren? You can start by striving to be their role model.<\/span><\/p>\n

According to <\/span>Christiana Njoku<\/span><\/a>, LPC:<\/span><\/p>\n

These days, children are known for quietly observing several behaviors within the family, so it’s important you model good behavior for them to follow.<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Your kids and stepkids pick up a lot just from observing you and your partner, so be sure to set a good example. <\/span><\/p>\n

Talk to them and each other with respect and kindness, even when things are tense. Let them see you <\/span>handling conflicts<\/span><\/a> with grace and a strong sense of fairness. <\/span><\/p>\n

Show them how to listen and be considerate<\/strong>, by listening and being considerate with them and your partner.<\/span><\/p>\n

If you have tween or teens in the household, try to get them on board with this. Older children can make wonderful role models, and your little ones are even more likely to copy their siblings than their parents.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>Teach both sharing and respect<\/span><\/span><\/h2>\n

Step siblings arguing constantly can be due to their ability to share and respect each other. A lack of respect can turn your kids into siblings that hate each other.<\/span><\/p>\n

During the process of blending a family, both sets of kids will feel like their familiar lifestyle is being taken away from them. <\/span><\/p>\n

Having their things used, borrowed, or even broken by their new step siblings will only add to this sense of powerlessness.<\/span><\/p>\n

It’s important for your children to play nice and share communal items such as the TV, outside play equipment, or family board games, so they can learn to share with their new sibling. <\/span><\/p>\n

You might consider setting up schedules if one child feels their sibling is getting too much of something.<\/strong><\/p>\n

However, it’s also important to teach step siblings respect for each other’s possessions, and that there are some things they’re not allowed to take. <\/span><\/p>\n

Show your children and stepchildren that you respect their personal possessions and that you expect them to do the same for each other.<\/span><\/p>\n

Also watch:<\/strong><\/p>\n

Teaching children<\/span><\/a> to share nicely is vital, but teaching respect for each other’s possessions is just as important. <\/span><\/p>\n