Situation<\/th>	Reactive reply<\/th>	Supportive reply<\/th>\n<\/tr>\n<\/thead>\n
They say they feel stuck in life<\/td>	What's wrong with the life we have?<\/td>	That sounds heavy. What feels most stuck right now?<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
They want to quit their job suddenly<\/td>	That's ridiculous. We can't afford it.<\/td>	I can tell work is weighing on you. Can we look at the options together?<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
They've been distant for weeks<\/td>	You obviously don't care anymore.<\/td>	I've missed you lately. Is something on your mind?<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
They come home with an expensive purchase<\/td>	Are you having a midlife crisis or what?<\/td>	That's a big buy. Can we talk about how we're handling spending?<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
They say they're not sure what they want<\/td>	So you want out?<\/td>	Thank you for being honest. I'd like to understand what you're feeling.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n<\/span><\/p>\n If your partner shuts the conversation down<\/b>, don’t push for answers right away. Let them know you’re there when they’re ready, and try again at a calmer time.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/span>7 Midlife Crisis Signs<\/b><\/span><\/h2>\n Not every change in midlife is a crisis. These signs of a midlife crisis tend to stand out because they last, build, or feel out of character. Each one comes with what it can mean for your relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n 1. Ongoing restlessness or dissatisfaction<\/b><\/h3>\n Nothing seems quite right, even if nothing has changed. Work feels pointless, routines feel dull, and good moments don’t land the way they used to. The restlessness isn’t about one bad week. It’s a lingering sense that life should feel different from what it does.<\/span><\/p>\n How can it affect your relationship?<\/b><\/h4>\n \n Your partner may seem <\/span>bored<\/span><\/a> or impatient with shared routines.<\/span><\/li>\n You might start wondering if the dissatisfaction is about you.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n What helps<\/b><\/h4>\n\n Ask what feels missing, and listen without taking it personally.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n RELATED READING : <\/span>4 Tips to Be a Better Listener in a Relationship- Why It Matters<\/a><\/span><\/div><\/div>\n 2. Questioning big life choices<\/b><\/h3>\n Career, where you live, whether you have had kids, and even the marriage itself, can all come up for review. A midlife crisis in marriage often starts with “what if” questions rather than firm plans, and those questions can feel threatening to the partner hearing them.<\/span><\/p>\n Midlife can be a turning point for marriages.<\/span><\/p>\n Susan Brown and I-Fen Lin, publishing in<\/span> The Journals of Gerontology: Series B<\/span><\/i><\/a>, found that the US divorce rate among adults 50 and older doubled between 1990 and 2010. The study tracked divorce trends, not midlife crises.<\/span><\/p><\/div>\n How can it affect your relationship?<\/b><\/h4>\n\n Your partner may revisit decisions you thought you’d made together.<\/span><\/li>\n You might feel like the relationship is suddenly on trial.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n What helps<\/b><\/h4>\n\n Separate questions from decisions, and talk about each one calmly.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n 3. Sudden changes in appearance or spending<\/b><\/h3>\n A new wardrobe, an intense new workout routine, an expensive car, or a big trip planned on short notice. Changes like these can be healthy ways to feel renewed. They become a concern when they’re impulsive, secretive, or strain shared finances and goals.<\/span><\/p>\n How can it affect your relationship?<\/b><\/h4>\n\n Unplanned purchases can create <\/span>stress around money<\/span><\/a> and trust.<\/span><\/li>\n You may feel left out of decisions that affect you both.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n What helps:<\/b> <\/span><\/p>\n \n Agree on a spending limit for big purchases, and check in before going over it.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n 4. Pulling away emotionally<\/b><\/h3>\n $\"Contemplative$ <\/p>\n They’re physically present but seem far away. Conversations stay on the surface, affection fades, and questions get short answers. Often, the person isn’t sure what they’re feeling, so they keep it to themselves rather than risk saying it badly. That can leave both partners feeling lonely.<\/span><\/p>\n Not having the words is more common than it might seem.<\/span><\/p>\n In a<\/span> Marriage.com survey of 2,399 US adults<\/span><\/a> in committed relationships, 30% said difficulty putting feelings into words holds them back from hard conversations. Silence is not always a sign of not caring.<\/span><\/p><\/div>\n How can it affect your relationship?<\/b><\/h4>\n\n You may feel shut out or lonely, even when you’re together.<\/span><\/li>\n Small conflicts can grow because nothing gets talked through.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n What helps<\/b><\/p>\n \n Invite conversation without pressure, like on a walk or a drive, when talking feels easier.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n RELATED READING : <\/span>10 Important Reasons Why You Need to Talk About Marriage<\/a><\/span><\/div><\/div>\n 5. Chasing excitement or taking new risks<\/b><\/h3>\n Some people respond to midlife restlessness by seeking thrills: a new hobby, a dangerous sport, late nights out, or new friendships that feel exciting. Newness can be energizing. It becomes risky when it involves secrecy, recklessness, or emotional closeness with someone outside the relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n How can it affect your relationship?<\/b><\/h4>\n\n You may worry about safety, money, or faithfulness.<\/span><\/li>\n New friendships or activities can leave less time for the two of you.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n What helps<\/b><\/h4>\n\n Look for new<\/span> experiences you can share<\/span><\/a>, and talk openly about boundaries.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n 6. Dwelling on aging, regret, or “what if”<\/b><\/h3>\n Birthdays feel heavier. They notice every gray hair, compare themselves to younger colleagues, or keep returning to roads not taken. Some reflection is natural in midlife. It becomes a sign when regret starts crowding out what’s good in the present.<\/span><\/p>\n How can it affect your relationship?<\/b><\/h4>\n \n Talk of regret can sound like regret about you or the life you’ve built.<\/span><\/li>\n Your partner may seem less interested in future plans.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n What helps <\/b><\/h4>\n \n Talk about what you’re both still looking forward to, and dream a little together.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n Watch this TED Talk by Chip Conley, entrepreneur and author, who shares how midlife can become a period of growth and renewal. <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n <span data-mce-type=\"bookmark\" style=\"display: inline-block; width: 0px; overflow: hidden; line-height: 0;\" class=\"mce_SELRES_start\"><\/span><\/iframe><\/p>\n<h3><b>7. Irritability, mood swings, or low mood<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Patience runs thin, small things spark arguments, or sadness settles in and doesn’t lift are some of the midlife crisis signs. Mood changes can come from stress, sleep, hormones, or health changes in midlife. When a low mood lasts for weeks, it may be depression rather than a passing phase.<\/span><\/p>\n<h4><b>How can it affect your relationship?<\/b><\/h4>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Frequent snapping can leave you walking on eggshells.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You may take their moods personally when they’re about something else.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h4><b>What helps<\/b><\/h4>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Encourage a check-up with a doctor or therapist, especially if low mood lingers.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"When-It%E2%80%99s-More-Than-A-Midlife-Crisis\"><\/span><b>When It’s More Than A Midlife Crisis<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><b>If you or your partner is thinking about suicide or self-harm, help is available.<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> Call or text 988 to reach the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you feel unsafe with your partner, you can reach the National Domestic Violence Hotline by calling 800.799.SAFE (7233), chatting at<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.thehotline.org\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"> <span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">thehotline.org<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, or texting START to 88788. If you’re in immediate danger, call 911.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Many midlife changes ease with time, honest conversation, and support. But some point to something that needs professional care.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Consider reaching out for help if you notice:<\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Low mood, hopelessness, or loss of interest that lasts for weeks.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Talk of not wanting to be here, or of self-harm.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Heavy drinking or other substance use.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Reckless behavior that puts anyone at risk.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Controlling, threatening, or frightening behavior toward a partner.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">These aren’t things to wait out. A doctor, therapist, or crisis line can help you figure out the next step.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If your partner’s behavior leaves you feeling unsafe, you might speak with a counselor on your own, or with an advocate:<\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><b>Your options.<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> Some people choose to work on the relationship with professional support. Some choose to leave. Both are legitimate paths, and only you can weigh your own situation.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><b>Safety planning.<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> An advocate can explain what safety planning generally involves, such as thinking ahead about who you’d contact and where you could go if you needed to.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"FAQs\"><\/span><b>FAQs<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Still have questions about identifying midlife crisis signs? Here are answers to some common ones, from when a midlife crisis tends to happen to how to support a partner through it.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><style>#sp-ea-124112 .spcollapsing { height: 0; overflow: hidden; transition-property: height;transition-duration: 300ms;}#sp-ea-124112.sp-easy-accordion>.sp-ea-single {border: 1px solid #e2e2e2; }#sp-ea-124112.sp-easy-accordion>.sp-ea-single>.ea-header a {color: #444;}#sp-ea-124112.sp-easy-accordion>.sp-ea-single>.sp-collapse>.ea-body {background: #fff; color: #444;}#sp-ea-124112.sp-easy-accordion>.sp-ea-single {background: #eee;}#sp-ea-124112.sp-easy-accordion>.sp-ea-single>.ea-header a .ea-expand-icon.fa { float: left; color: #444;font-size: 16px;}<\/style><div id=\"sp-ea-124112\" class=\"sp-ea-one sp-easy-accordion\" data-ex-icon=\"fa-angle-up\" data-col-icon=\"fa-angle-down\" data-ea-active=\"ea-click\" data-ea-mode=\"vertical\" data-preloader=\"\" data-scroll-active-item=\"\" data-offset-to-scroll=\"0\"><div class=\"ea-card ea-expand sp-ea-single\"><h3 class=\"ea-header\"><a class=\"collapsed\" data-sptoggle=\"spcollapse\" data-sptarget=#collapse1241120 href=\"javascript:void(0)\" aria-expanded=\"true\"><i class=\"ea-expand-icon fa fa-angle-up\"><\/i> At what age does a midlife crisis usually happen?<\/a><\/h3><div class=\"sp-collapse spcollapse collapsed show\" id=\"collapse1241120\" data-parent=#sp-ea-124112><div class=\"ea-body\"><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u00a0It's most often associated with the 40s and early 50s, but there's no set age. Many people link the experience to life events, like a job change or a parent's illness, rather than a specific birthday.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div><div class=\"ea-card sp-ea-single\"><h3 class=\"ea-header\"><a class=\"collapsed\" data-sptoggle=\"spcollapse\" data-sptarget=#collapse1241121 href=\"javascript:void(0)\" aria-expanded=\"false\"><i class=\"ea-expand-icon fa fa-angle-down\"><\/i> How long does a midlife crisis last?<\/a><\/h3><div class=\"sp-collapse spcollapse \" id=\"collapse1241121\" data-parent=#sp-ea-124112><div class=\"ea-body\"><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u00a0It varies. For some people, it's a few months of questioning, and for others it stretches longer, especially if stress keeps building. Support, honest conversation, and professional help can make it easier to move through.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div><div class=\"ea-card sp-ea-single\"><h3 class=\"ea-header\"><a class=\"collapsed\" data-sptoggle=\"spcollapse\" data-sptarget=#collapse1241122 href=\"javascript:void(0)\" aria-expanded=\"false\"><i class=\"ea-expand-icon fa fa-angle-down\"><\/i> How do I support a spouse going through a midlife crisis?<\/a><\/h3><div class=\"sp-collapse spcollapse \" id=\"collapse1241122\" data-parent=#sp-ea-124112><div class=\"ea-body\"><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u00a0Stay curious rather than defensive, and ask what they're feeling instead of guessing. Keep your own life and friendships going too. If big decisions are on the table, slow them down and talk them through together.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div><div class=\"ea-card sp-ea-single\"><h3 class=\"ea-header\"><a class=\"collapsed\" data-sptoggle=\"spcollapse\" data-sptarget=#collapse1241123 href=\"javascript:void(0)\" aria-expanded=\"false\"><i class=\"ea-expand-icon fa fa-angle-down\"><\/i> Can a marriage survive a midlife crisis?<\/a><\/h3><div class=\"sp-collapse spcollapse \" id=\"collapse1241123\" data-parent=#sp-ea-124112><div class=\"ea-body\"><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u00a0It can. For some couples, the questioning leads to honest conversations and changes that bring them closer. It helps when both partners stay engaged and get support if they feel stuck.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div><div class=\"ea-card sp-ea-single\"><h3 class=\"ea-header\"><a class=\"collapsed\" data-sptoggle=\"spcollapse\" data-sptarget=#collapse1241124 href=\"javascript:void(0)\" aria-expanded=\"false\"><i class=\"ea-expand-icon fa fa-angle-down\"><\/i> When should we see a counselor?<\/a><\/h3><div class=\"sp-collapse spcollapse \" id=\"collapse1241124\" data-parent=#sp-ea-124112><div class=\"ea-body\"><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u00a0It may help if conversations keep turning into fights, one of you feels shut out, or big decisions like separating come up. A counselor can help you both talk through what's changing. <\/span><\/p>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Growing-Through-Midlife\"><\/span><b>Growing Through Midlife<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Spotting midlife crisis signs in yourself or your partner can feel unsettling, but it doesn’t have to mean the relationship is ending. Midlife often brings big questions, and those questions can lead to honest conversations and meaningful change. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Stay curious, slow down big decisions, and keep talking, even when it’s hard. If the changes feel heavy or last a long time, reaching out to a counselor or doctor can help you both find steadier ground.<\/span><\/p>\n\n","protected":false,"raw":""},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>“I’ve been thinking. What if I quit my job and we sold the house?” “Wait. Since when do you want that?” Maybe your partner has started talking like this out of nowhere. Maybe you’re the one lying awake at 2 a.m., wondering if this is all there is. Either way, the sudden restlessness can shake a relationship that felt steady just months ago. Common signs of a midlife crisis include ongoing restlessness, questioning major life choices, sudden changes in spending or appearance, and emotional withdrawal. These changes can strain a relationship, but they don’t have to break it. Understanding what’s <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1419,"featured_media":124279,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2502],"tags":[2609],"class_list":["post-12888","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-navigating-challenges","tag-love-through-struggles","has_thumb"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12888","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1419"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=12888"}],"version-history":[{"count":12,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12888\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":124280,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12888\/revisions\/124280"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/124279"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=12888"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=12888"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=12888"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}

RELATED READING : <\/span>4 Tips to Be a Better Listener in a Relationship- Why It Matters<\/a><\/span><\/div><\/div>\n

2. Questioning big life choices<\/b><\/h3>\n
Career, where you live, whether you have had kids, and even the marriage itself, can all come up for review. A midlife crisis in marriage often starts with “what if” questions rather than firm plans, and those questions can feel threatening to the partner hearing them.<\/span><\/p>\n
Midlife can be a turning point for marriages.<\/span><\/p>\n
Susan Brown and I-Fen Lin, publishing in<\/span> The Journals of Gerontology: Series B<\/span><\/i><\/a>, found that the US divorce rate among adults 50 and older doubled between 1990 and 2010. The study tracked divorce trends, not midlife crises.<\/span><\/p><\/div>\n
How can it affect your relationship?<\/b><\/h4>\n\n
Your partner may revisit decisions you thought you’d made together.<\/span><\/li>\n
You might feel like the relationship is suddenly on trial.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
What helps<\/b><\/h4>\n\n
Separate questions from decisions, and talk about each one calmly.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
3. Sudden changes in appearance or spending<\/b><\/h3>\n
A new wardrobe, an intense new workout routine, an expensive car, or a big trip planned on short notice. Changes like these can be healthy ways to feel renewed. They become a concern when they’re impulsive, secretive, or strain shared finances and goals.<\/span><\/p>\n
How can it affect your relationship?<\/b><\/h4>\n\n
Unplanned purchases can create <\/span>stress around money<\/span><\/a> and trust.<\/span><\/li>\n
You may feel left out of decisions that affect you both.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
What helps:<\/b> <\/span><\/p>\n
\n
Agree on a spending limit for big purchases, and check in before going over it.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
4. Pulling away emotionally<\/b><\/h3>\n
$\"Contemplative$ <\/p>\n
They’re physically present but seem far away. Conversations stay on the surface, affection fades, and questions get short answers. Often, the person isn’t sure what they’re feeling, so they keep it to themselves rather than risk saying it badly. That can leave both partners feeling lonely.<\/span><\/p>\n
Not having the words is more common than it might seem.<\/span><\/p>\n
In a<\/span> Marriage.com survey of 2,399 US adults<\/span><\/a> in committed relationships, 30% said difficulty putting feelings into words holds them back from hard conversations. Silence is not always a sign of not caring.<\/span><\/p><\/div>\n
How can it affect your relationship?<\/b><\/h4>\n\n
You may feel shut out or lonely, even when you’re together.<\/span><\/li>\n
Small conflicts can grow because nothing gets talked through.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
What helps<\/b><\/p>\n
\n
Invite conversation without pressure, like on a walk or a drive, when talking feels easier.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
RELATED READING : <\/span>10 Important Reasons Why You Need to Talk About Marriage<\/a><\/span><\/div><\/div>\n
5. Chasing excitement or taking new risks<\/b><\/h3>\n
Some people respond to midlife restlessness by seeking thrills: a new hobby, a dangerous sport, late nights out, or new friendships that feel exciting. Newness can be energizing. It becomes risky when it involves secrecy, recklessness, or emotional closeness with someone outside the relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n
How can it affect your relationship?<\/b><\/h4>\n\n
You may worry about safety, money, or faithfulness.<\/span><\/li>\n
New friendships or activities can leave less time for the two of you.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
What helps<\/b><\/h4>\n\n
Look for new<\/span> experiences you can share<\/span><\/a>, and talk openly about boundaries.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
6. Dwelling on aging, regret, or “what if”<\/b><\/h3>\n
Birthdays feel heavier. They notice every gray hair, compare themselves to younger colleagues, or keep returning to roads not taken. Some reflection is natural in midlife. It becomes a sign when regret starts crowding out what’s good in the present.<\/span><\/p>\n
How can it affect your relationship?<\/b><\/h4>\n
\n
Talk of regret can sound like regret about you or the life you’ve built.<\/span><\/li>\n
Your partner may seem less interested in future plans.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
What helps <\/b><\/h4>\n
\n
Talk about what you’re both still looking forward to, and dream a little together.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
Watch this TED Talk by Chip Conley, entrepreneur and author, who shares how midlife can become a period of growth and renewal. <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n
<span data-mce-type=\"bookmark\" style=\"display: inline-block; width: 0px; overflow: hidden; line-height: 0;\" class=\"mce_SELRES_start\"><\/span><\/iframe><\/p>\n<h3><b>7. Irritability, mood swings, or low mood<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Patience runs thin, small things spark arguments, or sadness settles in and doesn’t lift are some of the midlife crisis signs. Mood changes can come from stress, sleep, hormones, or health changes in midlife. When a low mood lasts for weeks, it may be depression rather than a passing phase.<\/span><\/p>\n<h4><b>How can it affect your relationship?<\/b><\/h4>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Frequent snapping can leave you walking on eggshells.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You may take their moods personally when they’re about something else.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h4><b>What helps<\/b><\/h4>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Encourage a check-up with a doctor or therapist, especially if low mood lingers.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"When-It%E2%80%99s-More-Than-A-Midlife-Crisis\"><\/span><b>When It’s More Than A Midlife Crisis<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><b>If you or your partner is thinking about suicide or self-harm, help is available.<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> Call or text 988 to reach the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you feel unsafe with your partner, you can reach the National Domestic Violence Hotline by calling 800.799.SAFE (7233), chatting at<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.thehotline.org\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"> <span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">thehotline.org<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, or texting START to 88788. If you’re in immediate danger, call 911.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Many midlife changes ease with time, honest conversation, and support. But some point to something that needs professional care.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Consider reaching out for help if you notice:<\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Low mood, hopelessness, or loss of interest that lasts for weeks.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Talk of not wanting to be here, or of self-harm.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Heavy drinking or other substance use.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Reckless behavior that puts anyone at risk.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Controlling, threatening, or frightening behavior toward a partner.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">These aren’t things to wait out. A doctor, therapist, or crisis line can help you figure out the next step.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If your partner’s behavior leaves you feeling unsafe, you might speak with a counselor on your own, or with an advocate:<\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><b>Your options.<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> Some people choose to work on the relationship with professional support. Some choose to leave. Both are legitimate paths, and only you can weigh your own situation.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><b>Safety planning.<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> An advocate can explain what safety planning generally involves, such as thinking ahead about who you’d contact and where you could go if you needed to.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"FAQs\"><\/span><b>FAQs<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Still have questions about identifying midlife crisis signs? Here are answers to some common ones, from when a midlife crisis tends to happen to how to support a partner through it.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><style>#sp-ea-124112 .spcollapsing { height: 0; overflow: hidden; transition-property: height;transition-duration: 300ms;}#sp-ea-124112.sp-easy-accordion>.sp-ea-single {border: 1px solid #e2e2e2; }#sp-ea-124112.sp-easy-accordion>.sp-ea-single>.ea-header a {color: #444;}#sp-ea-124112.sp-easy-accordion>.sp-ea-single>.sp-collapse>.ea-body {background: #fff; color: #444;}#sp-ea-124112.sp-easy-accordion>.sp-ea-single {background: #eee;}#sp-ea-124112.sp-easy-accordion>.sp-ea-single>.ea-header a .ea-expand-icon.fa { float: left; color: #444;font-size: 16px;}<\/style><div id=\"sp-ea-124112\" class=\"sp-ea-one sp-easy-accordion\" data-ex-icon=\"fa-angle-up\" data-col-icon=\"fa-angle-down\" data-ea-active=\"ea-click\" data-ea-mode=\"vertical\" data-preloader=\"\" data-scroll-active-item=\"\" data-offset-to-scroll=\"0\"><div class=\"ea-card ea-expand sp-ea-single\"><h3 class=\"ea-header\"><a class=\"collapsed\" data-sptoggle=\"spcollapse\" data-sptarget=#collapse1241120 href=\"javascript:void(0)\" aria-expanded=\"true\"><i class=\"ea-expand-icon fa fa-angle-up\"><\/i> At what age does a midlife crisis usually happen?<\/a><\/h3><div class=\"sp-collapse spcollapse collapsed show\" id=\"collapse1241120\" data-parent=#sp-ea-124112><div class=\"ea-body\"><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u00a0It's most often associated with the 40s and early 50s, but there's no set age. Many people link the experience to life events, like a job change or a parent's illness, rather than a specific birthday.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div><div class=\"ea-card sp-ea-single\"><h3 class=\"ea-header\"><a class=\"collapsed\" data-sptoggle=\"spcollapse\" data-sptarget=#collapse1241121 href=\"javascript:void(0)\" aria-expanded=\"false\"><i class=\"ea-expand-icon fa fa-angle-down\"><\/i> How long does a midlife crisis last?<\/a><\/h3><div class=\"sp-collapse spcollapse \" id=\"collapse1241121\" data-parent=#sp-ea-124112><div class=\"ea-body\"><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u00a0It varies. For some people, it's a few months of questioning, and for others it stretches longer, especially if stress keeps building. Support, honest conversation, and professional help can make it easier to move through.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div><div class=\"ea-card sp-ea-single\"><h3 class=\"ea-header\"><a class=\"collapsed\" data-sptoggle=\"spcollapse\" data-sptarget=#collapse1241122 href=\"javascript:void(0)\" aria-expanded=\"false\"><i class=\"ea-expand-icon fa fa-angle-down\"><\/i> How do I support a spouse going through a midlife crisis?<\/a><\/h3><div class=\"sp-collapse spcollapse \" id=\"collapse1241122\" data-parent=#sp-ea-124112><div class=\"ea-body\"><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u00a0Stay curious rather than defensive, and ask what they're feeling instead of guessing. Keep your own life and friendships going too. If big decisions are on the table, slow them down and talk them through together.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div><div class=\"ea-card sp-ea-single\"><h3 class=\"ea-header\"><a class=\"collapsed\" data-sptoggle=\"spcollapse\" data-sptarget=#collapse1241123 href=\"javascript:void(0)\" aria-expanded=\"false\"><i class=\"ea-expand-icon fa fa-angle-down\"><\/i> Can a marriage survive a midlife crisis?<\/a><\/h3><div class=\"sp-collapse spcollapse \" id=\"collapse1241123\" data-parent=#sp-ea-124112><div class=\"ea-body\"><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u00a0It can. For some couples, the questioning leads to honest conversations and changes that bring them closer. It helps when both partners stay engaged and get support if they feel stuck.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div><div class=\"ea-card sp-ea-single\"><h3 class=\"ea-header\"><a class=\"collapsed\" data-sptoggle=\"spcollapse\" data-sptarget=#collapse1241124 href=\"javascript:void(0)\" aria-expanded=\"false\"><i class=\"ea-expand-icon fa fa-angle-down\"><\/i> When should we see a counselor?<\/a><\/h3><div class=\"sp-collapse spcollapse \" id=\"collapse1241124\" data-parent=#sp-ea-124112><div class=\"ea-body\"><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u00a0It may help if conversations keep turning into fights, one of you feels shut out, or big decisions like separating come up. A counselor can help you both talk through what's changing. <\/span><\/p>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Growing-Through-Midlife\"><\/span><b>Growing Through Midlife<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Spotting midlife crisis signs in yourself or your partner can feel unsettling, but it doesn’t have to mean the relationship is ending. Midlife often brings big questions, and those questions can lead to honest conversations and meaningful change. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Stay curious, slow down big decisions, and keep talking, even when it’s hard. If the changes feel heavy or last a long time, reaching out to a counselor or doctor can help you both find steadier ground.<\/span><\/p>\n\n","protected":false,"raw":""},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>“I’ve been thinking. What if I quit my job and we sold the house?” “Wait. Since when do you want that?” Maybe your partner has started talking like this out of nowhere. Maybe you’re the one lying awake at 2 a.m., wondering if this is all there is. Either way, the sudden restlessness can shake a relationship that felt steady just months ago. Common signs of a midlife crisis include ongoing restlessness, questioning major life choices, sudden changes in spending or appearance, and emotional withdrawal. These changes can strain a relationship, but they don’t have to break it. Understanding what’s <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1419,"featured_media":124279,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2502],"tags":[2609],"class_list":["post-12888","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-navigating-challenges","tag-love-through-struggles","has_thumb"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12888","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1419"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=12888"}],"version-history":[{"count":12,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12888\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":124280,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12888\/revisions\/124280"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/124279"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=12888"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=12888"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=12888"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}