

{"id":112798,"date":"2025-09-26T08:31:08","date_gmt":"2025-09-26T08:31:08","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/?p=112798"},"modified":"2026-03-13T05:34:43","modified_gmt":"2026-03-13T05:34:43","slug":"indulgent-parenting-style","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/parenting\/indulgent-parenting-style\/","title":{"rendered":"7 Reasons Parents Choose the Indulgent Parenting Style Today"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-112801\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/09\/2329562521.jpg\" alt=\"Parents comforting sad daughter \" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Parenting has never been a simple path, has it?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Some days it feels like you&rsquo;re just trying to get through the morning without a meltdown, and other days you&rsquo;re caught between what your heart says and what &ldquo;experts&rdquo; advise. In the middle of it all, some parents lean toward giving more freedom, fewer rules, and extra love.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It can look like saying yes when it might be easier to say no, or letting small battles slide because peace feels more important than perfection.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This approach, often called the indulgent parenting style, is shaped by emotions, culture, and personal history&hellip; and it reveals so much about the way parents see their role in a child&rsquo;s life today.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"What-is-the-indulgent-parenting-style\"><\/span><b>What is the indulgent parenting style?<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><b>The indulgent parenting style is often described as warm, responsive, and yes&hellip; a little too lenient at times.<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> Parents who follow this approach usually place a big focus on their child&rsquo;s happiness, even if it means setting fewer boundaries or letting rules bend.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It isn&rsquo;t about neglect or indifference; in fact, it often comes from deep love and the desire to avoid conflict.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">But what happens when children grow up with more freedom than structure?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Some flourish with creativity and confidence, while others may struggle with discipline or limits.<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><!--StartFragment --><!--EndFragment --><\/span><\/p>\n<div class=\"research_highlight\"><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Adolescence is a key stage for identity growth, yet indulgent parenting may harm psychological well-being. In<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov\/articles\/PMC10047057\/\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"> <span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">a study<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> of 128 adolescent&ndash;parent pairs, both adolescents and parents linked indulgent parenting to their own well-being problems, but not to the well-being of one another. Findings highlight the need for better parenting interventions.<\/span><\/p><\/div>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Below are a few examples of an indulgent parenting style:<\/span><\/p>\n<ul><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Allowing children to stay up late because they insist they aren&rsquo;t tired.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Buying toys or treats after every small request, &ldquo;just to keep them happy.&rdquo;<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Avoiding punishments or consequences to prevent tears or arguments.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">These moments may feel harmless or even comforting in the short term, but over time, they can shape a child&rsquo;s sense of responsibility and balance. It&rsquo;s a parenting choice that often comes from love&hellip; yet it may bring both ease and challenges.<\/span><\/p>\n<div class=\"wporg-box\"><div class=\"\"><span class=\"wporg_heading\">RELATED READING : <\/span><span class=\"wporg_title\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/parenting\/what-is-permissive-parenting\/\" title=\"Permissive Parenting: Definition, Characteristics, &#038; Effectiveness\">Permissive Parenting: Definition, Characteristics, &#038; Effectiveness<\/a><\/span><\/div><\/div>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"7-reasons-parents-choose-the-indulgent-parenting-style-today\"><\/span><b>7 reasons parents choose the indulgent parenting style today<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Parenting is rarely about following one strict rulebook; it&rsquo;s deeply personal, shaped by past experiences, cultural influences, and even the challenges of daily life.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Some parents lean toward an indulgent style of parenting not because they lack care, but because they want to express love, avoid conflict, or simply make things easier. Let&rsquo;s look at some heartfelt reasons why many parents choose this path today.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>1. Desire to build a close emotional bond<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Many parents want to create an environment where their children feel endlessly loved, accepted, and supported. They believe saying &ldquo;yes&rdquo; more often than &ldquo;no&rdquo; strengthens trust and closeness. <\/span><b>When a child sees that their wants are honored, it can deepen the emotional bond.<\/b><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Parents may also feel comforted when their child runs to them for everything without fear. Over time, this approach reflects a deep desire to be not just a parent, but a best friend.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>Here&rsquo;s how you approach it:<\/b><\/p>\n<ul><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Spend quality time together doing activities your child enjoys.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Communicate openly, but set clear boundaries around respect.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Show love through consistent presence, not just permissiveness.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<div class=\"wporg-box\"><div class=\"\"><span class=\"wporg_heading\">RELATED READING : <\/span><span class=\"wporg_title\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/emotional-intimacy\/emotional-bond-with-your-children\/\" title=\"7 Ways to Create a Strong Emotional Bond With Your Child\">7 Ways to Create a Strong Emotional Bond With Your Child<\/a><\/span><\/div><\/div>\n<h3><b>2. Fear of conflict or hurting the child&rsquo;s feelings<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-112800\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/09\/1398231200.jpg\" alt=\"Father talking to son \" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Discipline often brings resistance, tears, or even anger, and some parents dread these confrontations. Instead of enforcing strict rules, they choose to give in, hoping to keep peace in the household.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>For them, avoiding conflict seems like the kinder choice, even if it means overlooking misbehavior.<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> They may fear that setting limits could damage their child&rsquo;s trust. In the short term, this feels like harmony&hellip; though challenges may surface later.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>Here&rsquo;s how you approach it:<\/b><\/p>\n<ul><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Practice calm, gentle communication when setting rules.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Offer choices within boundaries to reduce conflict.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Remind yourself that short-term tears can bring long-term growth.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul><h3><b>3. Influence of modern &ldquo;child-first&rdquo; culture<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Today&rsquo;s culture often encourages parents to prioritize their child&rsquo;s happiness and comfort above all else. Social media, parenting forums, and even schools may reinforce the idea that children should always feel heard and validated.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>While there is great value in giving children a voice, this can sometimes push parents toward indulgence. <\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">They may confuse freedom with empowerment, blurring the lines between guidance and permissiveness. In this cultural climate, indulgent parenting can feel almost normal.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>Here&rsquo;s how you approach it:<\/b><\/p>\n<ul><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Balance validation with gentle accountability.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Teach your child that their feelings matter, and boundaries do, too.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Avoid comparing your parenting choices with online trends.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<div class=\"wporg-box\"><div class=\"\"><span class=\"wporg_heading\">RELATED READING : <\/span><span class=\"wporg_title\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/parenting\/building-positive-parent-child-relationships\/\" title=\"5 Vital Tips for Building Positive Parent-child Relationships\">5 Vital Tips for Building Positive Parent-child Relationships<\/a><\/span><\/div><\/div>\n<h3><b>4. Parents compensating for their own strict upbringing<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Parents who grew up with rigid rules or harsh discipline often swing to the opposite extreme. <\/span><b>They remember how suffocating it felt to have little say in their own lives, so they want their children to experience the opposite.<\/b><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This means fewer restrictions, more freedom, and a softer approach. For them, indulgence is a way of healing past wounds. It&rsquo;s an attempt to give their children the childhood they wish they had.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>Here&rsquo;s how you approach it:<\/b><\/p>\n<ul><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Reflect on your own childhood and identify what truly felt missing.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Provide freedom, but with loving guardrails that promote growth.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Acknowledge your child&rsquo;s individuality instead of projecting your past.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">&ldquo;Our childhoods deeply affect us when we become parents,&rdquo; says <a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/experts\/jenni-jacobsen\">LCSW Dr. Jennifer Schulz<\/a>, relationship expert. She continues, &ldquo;If you had a harsh childhood, the memories can be triggered when you have your own children, leading you to parent in a way that opposes what you were exposed to as a child.&rdquo; <\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>5. Lack of time or energy for firm discipline<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Life can be exhausting&mdash;work deadlines, household chores, financial stress&hellip; and then comes parenting. After a long day, many parents simply don&rsquo;t have the energy to argue about homework or chores. <\/span><b>It feels easier to let things slide than to muster up another battle.<\/b><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Over time, this &ldquo;shortcut&rdquo; becomes a pattern. What begins as occasional exhaustion can turn into a consistent indulgent approach, chosen out of survival rather than deliberate philosophy.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>Here&rsquo;s how you approach it:<\/b><\/p>\n<ul><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Create simple routines that reduce the need for daily battles.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Share responsibilities with a partner or support system.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Save your energy for the most important rules, not every detail.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<div class=\"wporg-box\"><div class=\"\"><span class=\"wporg_heading\">RELATED READING : <\/span><span class=\"wporg_title\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/parenting\/how-to-discipline-your-child\/\" title=\"A Parents Advice on How to Discipline Your Child\">A Parents Advice on How to Discipline Your Child<\/a><\/span><\/div><\/div>\n<h3><b>6. Guilt from being absent<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Some parents spend long hours away due to work, travel, or personal responsibilities. When they finally return, they may feel guilty for missing out on moments.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>To make up for their absence, they give in to requests, avoid saying no, or shower their children with gifts.<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> This indulgence feels like a way of compensating, a way to say, &ldquo;I&rsquo;m sorry I wasn&rsquo;t here.&rdquo; While rooted in love, it may unintentionally blur boundaries over time.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>Here&rsquo;s how you approach it:<\/b><\/p>\n<ul><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Focus on the quality of time, not just quantity.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Express your feelings of absence honestly to your child.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Show love through shared experiences instead of material indulgence.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul><p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Watch this TED Talk in which psychologist Becky Kennedy explains how parents can recover after losing their temper. With simple advice and examples, she shows it&rsquo;s never too late to reconnect and strengthen relationships:<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"YouTube video player\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/PHpPtdk9rco?si=MHcwdLTkRWMVOiVj\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><span data-mce-type=\"bookmark\" style=\"display: inline-block; width: 0px; overflow: hidden; line-height: 0;\" class=\"mce_SELRES_start\">&#65279;<\/span><\/iframe><\/p>\n<h3><b>7. Belief that freedom promotes independence<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-112799\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/09\/1937617990.jpg\" alt=\"Kid playing with blocks \" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Not all indulgence comes from fear or guilt&mdash;sometimes it&rsquo;s a conscious choice. Some parents genuinely believe that giving children maximum freedom will help them grow into independent thinkers. <\/span><b>They want their kids to make their own decisions, solve problems, and learn naturally.<\/b><\/p>\n<div class=\"research_highlight\"><p> <a href=\"https:\/\/pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov\/articles\/PMC7998357\/\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Research<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> examined the negotiation of independent mobility of children (CIM) within families through interviews with 44 parents and 22 children. Analysis identified four preconditions: childhood experiences of parents, characteristics of children, communication within families, and positive perceptions of the social environment. Results support policies for skill training, communication, and neighborhood connections.<\/span><\/p><\/div>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This belief often comes from trust in the child&rsquo;s abilities. While independence is important, without limits, children may struggle to understand responsibility. Still, parents see indulgence as an investment in autonomy.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>Here&rsquo;s how you approach it:<\/b><\/p>\n<ul><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Encourage decision-making, but explain the consequences clearly.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Provide safe opportunities for independence with supervision.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Celebrate responsibility as much as you celebrate freedom.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<div class=\"wporg-box\"><div class=\"\"><span class=\"wporg_heading\">RELATED READING : <\/span><span class=\"wporg_title\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/parenting\/raising-independent-children\/\" title=\"10 Effective Strategies for Raising Independent Children\">10 Effective Strategies for Raising Independent Children<\/a><\/span><\/div><\/div>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"What-are-the-effects-of-the-indulgent-parenting-style-on-children\"><\/span><b>What are the effects of the indulgent parenting style on children?<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Every parenting choice leaves a mark, even when it comes from a place of love.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The indulgent parenting style often feels warm and protective in the moment, but what does it mean for a child&rsquo;s growth in the long run?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Some effects are surprisingly positive, while others may bring challenges later in life.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It&rsquo;s natural for parents to wonder, &ldquo;What are the strengths and weaknesses of indulgent parenting styles?&rdquo; and how those show up in a child&rsquo;s everyday world.<\/span><\/p>\n<ul><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><b>High self-esteem: <\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Children may feel valued, accepted, and confident because their voices are consistently heard and their needs are often prioritized.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><b>Poor self-control: <\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Without regular boundaries, kids may struggle with discipline, delaying gratification, or handling rules outside the home.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><b>Strong creativity and expression: <\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Freedom gives children space to explore ideas, hobbies, and passions without fear of judgment.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><b>Difficulty with authority: <\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">A lack of structure at home can make it tough for kids to respect rules in school or future workplaces.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><b>Close parent-child bond<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">: Many children raised this way enjoy an affectionate, trusting relationship with their parents, built on warmth and acceptance.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">&ldquo;While an indulgent parenting style may come with some perks, being overly indulgent without setting limits can cause a child to grow up feeling as if they do not have to follow rules,&rdquo; says <a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/experts\/jenni-jacobsen\">LCSW Dr. Schulz<\/a>. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>Finding balance is the key.<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> Parents can preserve warmth while setting gentle but<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov\/books\/NBK568743\/\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"> <span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">consistent rules<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, giving children both love and structure. Encouraging responsibility, modeling discipline, and allowing safe independence are small but powerful ways to prevent the downsides of indulgence.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Key-takeaway-for-parents\"><\/span><b>Key takeaway for parents<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Parenting never comes with a perfect script, and the choices parents make often come from love, hope, or even exhaustion. The indulgent parenting style may feel comforting in the moment, creating warmth and closeness, but it also invites challenges that can shape a child&rsquo;s future.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>Is it wrong to want peace or joy at home?<\/b><\/p>\n<p><b>Of course not&hellip; but children also need structure alongside affection.<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> With balance, patience, and honesty, parents can hold space for both love and limits, giving their kids the best of both worlds.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false,"raw":""},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Parenting has never been a simple path, has it? Some days it feels like you&rsquo;re just trying to get through the morning without a meltdown, and other days you&rsquo;re caught between what your heart says and what &ldquo;experts&rdquo; advise. In the middle of it all, some parents lean toward giving more freedom, fewer rules, and extra love. It can look like saying yes when it might be easier to say no, or letting small battles slide because peace feels more important than perfection. This approach, often called the indulgent parenting style, is shaped by emotions, culture, and personal history&hellip; and <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1363,"featured_media":112801,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[37],"tags":[2644],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/112798"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1363"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=112798"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/112798\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":117989,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/112798\/revisions\/117989"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/112801"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=112798"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=112798"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=112798"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}