{"id":111742,"date":"2025-08-13T05:40:48","date_gmt":"2025-08-13T05:40:48","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/?p=111742"},"modified":"2026-03-31T10:13:29","modified_gmt":"2026-03-31T10:13:29","slug":"ai-relationship-confessions","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/research\/ai-relationship-confessions\/","title":{"rendered":"2025 Marriage Survey Finds 64% of Couples Turn to AI Relationship Advice Before Each Other"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-112217\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/08\/are-we-talking-or-just-prompting-hero-image-alt-1.png\" alt=\"A couple sitting apart on a teal-blue couch in a modern, softly lit living room at night. Both focused on their devices, surrounded by subtle blue and gray decor.\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<blockquote><p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">From digital searches to silent struggles, how American couples are turning to AI instead of each other.<\/span><\/i><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">There are countless ways people use AI to improve their daily lives. Some use it as a notetaker. Others even use it to brainstorm recipes. However, not many people expected AI to become a marriage counselor for American couples. Contrary to this belief, thousands of married Americans are consulting AI and search engines before ever broaching issues with their spouses.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-start=\"969\" data-end=\"1141\">Many Americans are now privately asking questions like <em data-start=\"1046\" data-end=\"1090\">&ldquo;Is ChatGPT good for relationship advice?&rdquo;<\/em> before ever discussing issues with their partners.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Drawing from a <strong>survey of 1,000 married Americans and results from a state-by-state Google Trends analysis<\/strong>, our findings reveal a digital undercurrent in modern relationships. From emotional avoidance to tech-facilitated introspection, Americans are outsourcing some of their most intimate struggles to algorithms. The findings raise an important question. Are we talking or just prompting?<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Key-takeaways\"><\/span><strong>Key takeaways<\/strong><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<ul><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><b>33% married couples felt AI tools &ldquo;get&rdquo; their relationship struggles better than their spouse<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, and after using AI to talk through issues<\/span><b>, 44% felt calmer <\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">and<\/span><b> 38% felt more confident about what to do.<\/b><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><b>28% made a financial decision based on AI or online advice without telling their spouse<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, with men (35%) and high-income earners making $125,000 or more (25%) leading the trend.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><b>Nearly two-thirds <\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(64%) <\/span><b>of married Americans have searched for marriage help online before talking to their partner<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, with 1 in 3 saying they were motivated to do so because they feared &ldquo;making things worse.&rdquo;<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><b>Digital sources like AI and online search are now the most trusted for relationship advice<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. They were ranked higher than <\/span><b>friends or family (30%)<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> and nearly <\/span><b>twice as high as professional therapists (22%)<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><b>In our survey, 44% of married Americans have used an AI tool for relationship advice<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, with usage climbing to nearly 65% among millennials.&nbsp;<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><b>Georgia, South Carolina, <\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">and<\/span><b> Pennsylvania topped the list for marriage-related emotional search activity<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, with Vermont, North Dakota, and Wyoming having the lowest in overall search volume.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul><h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"The-rise-of-the-AI-marriage-counselor\"><\/span><strong>The rise of the AI marriage counselor<\/strong><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"YouTube video player\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/nogkgYoThbs?si=PwMszMDz42UpH6DP\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><span data-mce-type=\"bookmark\" style=\"display: inline-block; width: 0px; overflow: hidden; line-height: 0;\" class=\"mce_SELRES_start\">&#65279;<\/span><\/iframe><\/p>\n<div class=\"subscribeYT_highlight\"><div class=\"subscribe_channel\">\r\n            <div class=\"subscribe_text\">Join millions <span class=\"sub_text1\">building healthier, happier<\/span> <span class=\"sub_text2\"> relationships.<\/span><\/div>\r\n            <a class=\"subscribe-btn-in-content\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/@Marriagedotcom?sub_confirmation=1\" target=\"_blank\">\r\n            <img src=\"\/images\/youtube_icon_small.png\" class=\"icon-left\" alt=\"YouTube\">\r\n            <span>Subscribe<\/span>\r\n            <img src=\"\/images\/bell_icon_new.svg\" class=\"icon-right\" alt=\"Extra Icon\">\r\n            <\/a>\r\n        <\/div><\/div>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Other than the eternal bond couples make when getting married, marriage is also known for the <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/navigating-challenges\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">inevitable challenges a couple will face together<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Like any other inconvenience in modern day, though, many couples are using AI as a way to overcome these challenges. This may look like testing emotional language, questions, or boundaries with AI before sharing them in real life.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><iframe class=\"flourish-embed-iframe\" style=\"width: 100%; height: 600px;\" title=\"Interactive or visual content\" src=\"https:\/\/flo.uri.sh\/visualisation\/24542419\/embed\" frameborder=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" sandbox=\"allow-same-origin allow-forms allow-scripts allow-downloads allow-popups allow-popups-to-escape-sandbox allow-top-navigation-by-user-activation\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Nearly <strong>one-third of married Americans reported using AI for relationship guidance<\/strong> &mdash; a number that spiked among younger couples. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Gen Z and millennials were nearly three times as likely as baby boomers to use chatbots like ChatGPT. Since younger generations have been more <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.surveymonkey.com\/curiosity\/ai-trends-by-generations\/\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">comfortable using AI<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> in other aspects of their lives, like their workplace, it&rsquo;s only natural that they turn to the technology for every aspect of their lives, including the more personal sides.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Overall, though, these results in the survey reflect where people feel safe starting difficult conversations: with a machine, not a mate.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Searching-instead-of-speaking\"><\/span><strong>Searching instead of speaking<\/strong><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Before couples open up to each other, many first turn to the internet. The <strong>reasons often boil down to fear<\/strong> &mdash; fear of rejection, escalation, or being vulnerable. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In the past, couples may have turned to family and friends, or even a therapist, as a sounding board. Now, though, <strong>many see the internet as a wider net they can use to fish for answers<\/strong> regarding their relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><iframe class=\"flourish-embed-iframe\" style=\"width: 100%; height: 600px;\" title=\"Interactive or visual content\" src=\"https:\/\/flo.uri.sh\/visualisation\/24542488\/embed\" frameborder=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" sandbox=\"allow-same-origin allow-forms allow-scripts allow-downloads allow-popups allow-popups-to-escape-sandbox allow-top-navigation-by-user-activation\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">According to our results, <strong>more than six in ten respondents admitted to seeking online information<\/strong> before discussing marital issues. The remaining respondents who sought out advice from friends, family, or even their own partners were dwarfed in comparison.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Of the respondents who used the internet for relationship problems, <strong>most searched for concerns<\/strong> about <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/emotional-intimacy\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">emotional neglect<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> and <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/communication\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">communication breakdowns<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. <strong>One-third specifically cited a fear of &ldquo;making things worse&rdquo; by addressing the issue directly.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Even though many respondents used the internet, AI, or digital tools to gain advice for their marital problems, that doesn&rsquo;t mean that they&rsquo;ll take it to heart because they trust it. However, our data reflects the opposite.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><iframe class=\"flourish-embed-iframe\" style=\"width: 100%; height: 600px;\" title=\"Interactive or visual content\" src=\"https:\/\/flo.uri.sh\/visualisation\/24542510\/embed\" frameborder=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" sandbox=\"allow-same-origin allow-forms allow-scripts allow-downloads allow-popups allow-popups-to-escape-sandbox allow-top-navigation-by-user-activation\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Nearly half of respondents said they trust digital sources more than loved ones when seeking relationship advice, and were nearly two times more likely to trust digital sources than <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/experts\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">a professional therapist<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Regardless of the reason why couples do this, our survey results convey that most couples see technology as a trusted source when making significant decisions for their marriages.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Emotional-avoidance-by-generation\"><\/span><strong>Emotional avoidance by generation<\/strong><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">While some older generations may refrain from using an AI marriage counselor due to a lack of familiarity with digital tools, another reason can come down to their <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/gen-x-characteristics\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">struggles with expressing emotional needs<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> altogether.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><iframe class=\"flourish-embed-iframe\" style=\"width: 100%; height: 600px;\" title=\"Interactive or visual content\" src=\"https:\/\/flo.uri.sh\/visualisation\/24542592\/embed\" frameborder=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" sandbox=\"allow-same-origin allow-forms allow-scripts allow-downloads allow-popups allow-popups-to-escape-sandbox allow-top-navigation-by-user-activation\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">For instance, while boomers were least likely to engage with digital tools, they were also most likely to avoid conflict. On the other hand, millennials and Gen Z led in both AI usage and online search behavior, underscoring a generational comfort with mediated communication.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"The-US-map-of-marital-search-anxiety\"><\/span><strong>The U.S. map of marital search anxiety<\/strong><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">While the use of AI, the internet, and other digital tools has become more common as a tool for improving relationships, it&rsquo;s not universal everywhere. A 12-month analysis of Google Trends uncovered strong geographic patterns in emotional search behavior.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><iframe class=\"flourish-embed-iframe\" style=\"width: 100%; height: 600px;\" title=\"Interactive or visual content\" src=\"https:\/\/flo.uri.sh\/visualisation\/24543040\/embed\" frameborder=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" sandbox=\"allow-same-origin allow-forms allow-scripts allow-downloads allow-popups allow-popups-to-escape-sandbox allow-top-navigation-by-user-activation\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Even though Georgia has the <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/worldpopulationreview.com\/states\/georgia\/how-big\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">8th largest population size<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> out of all the states, it ranked the highest for emotional marriage search volume.<strong> States in the South and Midwest dominated the top ten<\/strong>, with keywords revealing concern over both general and specific relationship struggles. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Vermont recorded the lowest levels of such search activity, which may come from its low population, as it is <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/tradingeconomics.com\/united-states\/resident-population-in-vermont-thous-of-persons-a-na-fed-data.html\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">one of the states with the smallest population sizes<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Can-you-trust-a-chatbot-with-your-marriage\"><\/span><strong>Can you trust a chatbot with your marriage?<\/strong><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Americans may be turning to AI for support, but that doesn&rsquo;t always translate to action. Trust in digital or ChatGPT relationship advice is high, yet follow-through is inconsistent.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><strong>Thirty percent said they had taken real-world action based on digital guidance<\/strong> &mdash; a larger share than previously expected. Still, most saw AI less as a prescription and more as a prompt for self-reflection. For instance, instead of using a journal to organize their thoughts on their relationship, many will use AI. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Likewise, many use AI to vent out their feelings, which can significantly save respondents from any untoward stress they may cause in their relationships due to pent-up emotions.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><iframe class=\"flourish-embed-iframe\" style=\"width: 100%; height: 600px;\" title=\"Interactive or visual content\" src=\"https:\/\/flo.uri.sh\/visualisation\/24542528\/embed\" frameborder=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" sandbox=\"allow-same-origin allow-forms allow-scripts allow-downloads allow-popups allow-popups-to-escape-sandbox allow-top-navigation-by-user-activation\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">We can certainly see this in the data: after using AI to talk through a relationship issue, <strong>44% said they felt calmer, 41% felt understood, and 38% felt more confident about what to do<\/strong>. Only 5% felt more disconnected afterward. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Regardless of how respondents used AI marriage counseling for their marital challenges, many saw positive results within themselves afterward.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Gendered-and-financial-gaps-in-digital-trust\"><\/span><strong>Gendered and financial gaps in digital trust<\/strong><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">While digital tools offer new ways to process marital issues, not all groups use them the same way. Men were more likely than women to make secret decisions based on AI relationship advice, particularly around money.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><iframe class=\"flourish-embed-iframe\" style=\"width: 100%; height: 600px;\" title=\"Interactive or visual content\" src=\"https:\/\/flo.uri.sh\/visualisation\/24542541\/embed\" frameborder=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" sandbox=\"allow-same-origin allow-forms allow-scripts allow-downloads allow-popups allow-popups-to-escape-sandbox allow-top-navigation-by-user-activation\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Among households earning $125,000 or more, <strong>25% reported changing how they save or spend based on AI guidance<\/strong> without discussing it with their spouse. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When high earners make financial decisions based on free AI relationship advice online without telling their spouse, it reflects a deeper issue. Many marriage experts <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/finance\/how-to-handle-finances-together\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">recommend that couples manage their finances together<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. If one partner uses technology to make financial decisions without the input of their spouse, it may cause even more conflict.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Closing-the-digital-distance\"><\/span><strong>Closing the digital distance<\/strong><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">More couples are turning to AI and online search for support &mdash; not because they&rsquo;ve given up on each other, but because they&rsquo;re looking for clarity, reassurance, or a way to make sense of what they&rsquo;re feeling. That instinct makes sense.<strong> Digital tools are private, judgment-free, and always available<\/strong>.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">But they&rsquo;re <strong>not a substitute for real connection<\/strong>. When used thoughtfully, they can help couples start conversations they&rsquo;ve been avoiding or bring up concerns that feel too loaded to say out loud. The goal isn&rsquo;t to replace each other or a <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/marriage-courses\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">marriage counselor with tech<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &mdash; it&rsquo;s to <strong>use those reflections to get closer<\/strong>, not drift further apart.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>Wondering if ChatGPT is good for relationship advice?<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Marriages are changing. So are the ways we seek online marriage help. What matters is keeping the connection real, even when the starting point is digital.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Methodology\"><\/span><strong>Methodology<\/strong><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This study surveyed 1,000 married U.S. adults across age, gender, and region. It also incorporated Google Trends analysis of 60 marriage-related search terms over the past 12 months across all 50 states plus Washington, D.C.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"About-Marriagecom\"><\/span><strong>About Marriage.com<\/strong><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Marriage.com<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> is a leading resource for relationship wellness, offering expert advice, courses, and tools to help couples build stronger, more connected partnerships. With a focus on emotional intelligence and real-world challenges, we empower users to thrive in every phase of marriage.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Fair-use-statement\"><\/span><strong>Fair use statement<\/strong><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You may reuse this content for noncommercial purposes, provided you give proper attribution to Marriage.com and include a link to the original article.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false,"raw":""},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>From digital searches to silent struggles, how American couples are turning to AI instead of each other. There are countless ways people use AI to improve their daily lives. Some use it as a notetaker. Others even use it to brainstorm recipes. However, not many people expected AI to become a marriage counselor for American couples. Contrary to this belief, thousands of married Americans are consulting AI and search engines before ever broaching issues with their spouses. Many Americans are now privately asking questions like &ldquo;Is ChatGPT good for relationship advice?&rdquo; before ever discussing issues with their partners. Drawing from <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1419,"featured_media":112217,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[2730],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/111742"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1419"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=111742"}],"version-history":[{"count":21,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/111742\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":119212,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/111742\/revisions\/119212"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/112217"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=111742"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=111742"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=111742"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}