

{"id":104409,"date":"2024-09-23T10:33:21","date_gmt":"2024-09-23T10:33:21","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/?p=104409"},"modified":"2024-09-23T10:33:51","modified_gmt":"2024-09-23T10:33:51","slug":"discussing-guardianship-with-your-spouse","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/parenting\/discussing-guardianship-with-your-spouse\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Discuss Guardianship With Your Spouse"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-104412\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/09\/2014824401.jpg\" alt=\"Young couple talking to each other \" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you have to go away for a while, it&rsquo;s worth broaching the topic of guardianship. This requires a<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.lawdistrict.com\/temporary-guardianship\/\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> temporary guardianship letter sample<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &mdash; as well as a productive and balanced conversation.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Discussing the guardianship of a child is crucial to ensure their well-being during your absence. Here, we&rsquo;ll show you how to start this discussion and keep it fair.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Situations-where-you%E2%80%99ll-need-guardianship\"><\/span><b>Situations where you&rsquo;ll need guardianship<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">There are a number of reasons why your spouse might not be able to look after the child.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Does your child have special requirements that only two-parent households could accommodate, for example?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Is your spouse&rsquo;s work schedule not compatible with the child&rsquo;s life?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><div class=\"research_highlight\"><p><\/p><\/div><\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>Money might be another major factor<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. If you can&rsquo;t look after your child for one reason or another, your spouse might struggle with childcare&rsquo;s financial requirements.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">For example, if you&rsquo;re going into long-term treatment, you probably won&rsquo;t be able to work at this time. Does your spouse have enough savings to cover every cost?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Your spouse might still want to look after their child. But this could do more harm than good. <\/span><b>You must balance the guardianship question with what&rsquo;s best for every party<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. This includes both your child and your spouse.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Understanding &ldquo;What does guardianship of a child mean?&rdquo; in these circumstances is essential to making the right decision.<\/span><\/p>\n<div class=\"wporg-box\"><div class=\"\"><span class=\"wporg_heading\">RELATED READING : <\/span><span class=\"wporg_title\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/parenting\/help-with-childcare\/\" title=\"8 Effective Ways to Get Help With Childcare\">8 Effective Ways to Get Help With Childcare<\/a><\/span><\/div><\/div>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"4-ways-to-discuss-guardianship-with-your-spouse\"><\/span><b>4 ways to discuss guardianship with your spouse<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-104411\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/09\/2205625401.jpg\" alt=\"Senor couple talking to each other \" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Discussing guardianship with your spouse can be a sensitive topic, but it&rsquo;s an important conversation to ensure your child&rsquo;s well-being. Addressing this issue together can help you both make informed decisions that prioritize your family&rsquo;s needs.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Here are 4 ways to approach this delicate discussion with care and consideration:<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>1. Starting the conversation<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Like any<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/marriage-fitness\/difficult-conversations-with-your-partner\/\"> <span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">difficult talk<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, you have to approach this sensitively. Pick a time when you&rsquo;re both feeling relaxed and there are no distractions.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You may not want to rock the boat in a moment of peace. <\/span><b>But this could be the only way to guarantee a level-headed discussion<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Start by talking about the reasons you can&rsquo;t look after your child. Bring up your concerns about whether your spouse will be able to manage childcare alone.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In all likelihood, the conversation could end with you secure in their ability to care for the child. Understanding &ldquo;What is guardianship?&rdquo; can also help clarify your concerns and guide the discussion in the right direction.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Be upfront about your concerns. It might be difficult to bring up finances. <\/span><b>But the alternative may be your spouse struggling to fit everything together<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. Always be respectful &mdash; and make sure you practice active listening throughout the conversation.<\/span><\/p>\n<div class=\"wporg-box\"><div class=\"\"><span class=\"wporg_heading\">RELATED READING : <\/span><span class=\"wporg_title\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/marriage-fitness\/difficult-conversations-with-your-partner\/\" title=\"Having Difficult Conversations With Your Partner: 7 Useful Tips\">Having Difficult Conversations With Your Partner: 7 Useful Tips<\/a><\/span><\/div><\/div>\n<h3><b>2. Possible concerns during the discussion<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-104410\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/09\/1356947648.jpg\" alt=\"Couple consulting with financial advisor \" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Unfortunately, your spouse might not agree with this. They might be sure about wanting to look after the child themselves, even if this poses a big risk. Here are just a few points you may need to navigate:&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<ul><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Your spouse may dispute that they can&rsquo;t look after the child. They might even have a full plan for balancing everything alone.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You could disagree on the potential new guardian. Your spouse might even feel offended by your choice over them.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What is in the child&rsquo;s best interests? Will they still be near friends and family? Would they need to change schools?<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Similarly, is the child old enough to join the discussion? You should consider asking them for their opinion.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Your spouse might be unsure about the guardianship form. Make sure you use an online and legally binding template.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Discuss<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/separation\/child-custody-arrangement\/\"> <span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">how long the arrangement<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> is likely to be. If it&rsquo;s relatively short-term, the spouse might be more open to this.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If there aren&rsquo;t any suitable family members, consider a foster family. This may be even more contentious, however.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<div class=\"wporg-box\"><div class=\"\"><span class=\"wporg_heading\">RELATED READING : <\/span><span class=\"wporg_title\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/parenting\/foster-care-adoption\/\" title=\"What Are the Benefits and Challenges of Foster Care Adoption?\">What Are the Benefits and Challenges of Foster Care Adoption?<\/a><\/span><\/div><\/div>\n<h3><b>3. Negotiating the guardian<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In these situations, you&rsquo;ll likely have an idea of who the temporary guardian should be. But your spouse might have<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.researchgate.net\/publication\/380518258_Exploring_the_Role_of_Guardianship_in_Effective_and_Equitable_Permanency_Key_Findings_from_Caregivers\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"> <span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">their own ideas<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. It&rsquo;s always worth hearing out their concerns.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You might even be able to reach a compromise. But only if you&rsquo;re open to negotiating. You may come to this conversation with a list of key attributes you&rsquo;d like in a guardian.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>Give your spouse a chance to add some of their own<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. For example, you might want someone who lives by the child&rsquo;s school. Remember, you don&rsquo;t have to narrow this down right away.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It&rsquo;s easy for your choice to look like you&rsquo;re choosing &ldquo;sides.&rdquo; Especially if you pick someone from your family, but you should at least consider a member of your spouse&rsquo;s family. This would likely help them stay close to their child.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Watch this video where Kevin O&rsquo;Flaherty, an attorney, explains how courts decide who will be appointed guardian:<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"YouTube video player\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/dZW4Uxa-FF8?si=FMw0tA1c2toeMT4g\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><span data-mce-type=\"bookmark\" style=\"display: inline-block; width: 0px; overflow: hidden; line-height: 0;\" class=\"mce_SELRES_start\">&#65279;<\/span><\/iframe><\/p>\n<h3><b>4. Your spouse&rsquo;s parental rights<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Remind your spouse that they&rsquo;re still the child&rsquo;s parent. In most arrangements, they&rsquo;re entitled to see their child whenever they want. They might even be able to<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/family\/know-difference-guardianship-custody\/\"> <span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">arrange temporary joint custody<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> that fits everyone&rsquo;s schedules.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>Research highlight:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> Research indicates that<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/link.springer.com\/referenceworkentry\/10.1007\/978-3-319-57365-6_272-1\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"> <span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">shared parenting<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> or joint physical custody is increasingly common in Western countries. Despite challenges in empirical analysis due to selection bias and data ambiguity, literature explores its effects on family outcomes.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>The guardian usually can&rsquo;t make the child&rsquo;s major life decisions<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. A parent must still consent to a child having significant or experimental surgery, for example. This could help your spouse adjust to the arrangement. <\/span><b>They&rsquo;ll see that they still get to act as a parent.<\/b><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This could be the root of all their worries. They might simply want to stay a parent. It&rsquo;s natural for your spouse not to want to lose their child, especially if you have to go away as well.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Final-thoughts\"><\/span><b>Final thoughts<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Guardianship is always a tricky topic, especially when every side just wants what&rsquo;s best for each other. Starting this conversation, however, could ensure everyone&rsquo;s happiness.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Open and healthy discussions will help you and your spouse chart the path ahead with clarity and mutual understanding, paving the way for decisions that honor everyone&rsquo;s well-being.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false,"raw":""},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>If you have to go away for a while, it&rsquo;s worth broaching the topic of guardianship. This requires a temporary guardianship letter sample &mdash; as well as a productive and balanced conversation. Discussing the guardianship of a child is crucial to ensure their well-being during your absence. Here, we&rsquo;ll show you how to start this discussion and keep it fair. Situations where you&rsquo;ll need guardianship There are a number of reasons why your spouse might not be able to look after the child. Does your child have special requirements that only two-parent households could accommodate, for example? Is your spouse&rsquo;s <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1446,"featured_media":104412,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[37],"tags":[2647],"class_list":["post-104409","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-parenting","tag-parenting-through-divorce","has_thumb"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/104409","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1446"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=104409"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/104409\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":104413,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/104409\/revisions\/104413"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/104412"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=104409"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=104409"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=104409"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}