Many people for any of their own reasons attempt the path to recovery by themselves. Unfortunately, this is the least effective way to proceed on a challenging road that can have many bumps and curves along the way.
Recovery is full of temptations, daily personal tests, and a few missteps. Walking the path ahead with the assistance of your husband, wife or support team is much more efficient and long-lasting. In Tolkein’s Lord of the Rings, Frodo Baggins had help from his Hobbit friends. They were an essential support in ensuring that he did not succumb to the temptation of the ring. If you don’t know the story of The Lord of the Rings, you can watch the movie. It is a beautiful representation of the recovery journey.
What kind of help should you get?
There are many choices here. You might select some or all of these. You might even be able to identify additional options that will be even more helpful to you,
- Non-professional support—this type of support is vital for your full recovery. This means being able to talk with your marriage partner, friend or family member about your struggles, feelings, and goals.
- 12-Step support— is also highly critical for recovery. These groups include SAA (Sex Addicts Anonymous), SCA (Sexual Compulsives Anonymous), SLAA (Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous), SRA (Sexual Recovery Anonymous), and SA (Sexaholics Anonymous). Each group has a different philosophy and focus. Go to their websites for more information and lists of local meetings. There will be at least one program that will satisfy your needs.
- Professional support—many people who desire recovery find they need more assistance and support than friends or 12-Step can provide. This is where a professional who has the expertise to deal with a sex addiction can be extremely helpful. Certified Sex Addiction Therapists (CSATs) are specially trained to treat addiction to sex, pornography, or masturbation. They are masters level clinicians who in addition to their primary education must have a number of years of counseling and continuing education to receive their certification as a CSAT. Recovery Coaches can also be useful in creating responsibility and daily order for people in early recovery.
Remember that addiction thrives in isolation. On the contrary, recovery works best in consultation with others.
Think about your wife, husband, family or friends. Who can you talk to honestly and impartially? Who can you trust the most? If there is, unfortunately, no one, then it’s even more important that you go to 12-Step meetings. Look at the websites for the various 12-Step fellowships. Find a local meeting and go.
Also, look into finding a CSAT near you. Go to www.iitap.com to locate a listing of Certified Sex Addiction Therapists in your area.
Today I accept that I am not supposed to take this journey alone. I might feel uncomfortable when first talking to others about my issues, but this will pass as I learn that there are some safe people with whom I can share. I value myself and my life enough to take this risk.
Congratulations on completing and instituting the Six Day program into your life!
Want to have a happier, healthier marriage?
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
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