Divorce is a complicated, expensive and а traumatic experience. Many married couples that are not doing very well, think about the possibility of separation before divorce as a legal and suitable way of solving problems at the moment.
Almost all people that are thinking about getting separated from their partner think of divorce first. After realizing the complexity of it, they think of alternative options. Splitting up without getting divorced is a temporary, but a great solution for those who are in desperate need of doing something with their lives.
If you are coping with an unhappy marriage, think about the pros and cons of a separation before divorce. Here are some things to think about and see the good and the bad side:
Pros of Separation
Possibility of saving the marriage
For those who still have faith in keeping their marriage, this is the last option. Separation doesn’t mean divorce, and while the couple is still officially married, anything can happen for them to be back together again.
See things from a different perspective
When you separate a completely different perspective opens up. All things become somehow different and everything is seen from another perspective.
This gives you the chance to reconsider your decisions, behavior and what you want from your future.
End of non-stop arguments
One of the biggest problems in the unhappy marriage is the never ending arguments. Fighting about anything is exhausting. When you split with your partner you get peace and silence. Enjoy it.
A lot of married people admit that they have a problem with handling money with their partner. When separated you gain control over your finances and decide how to spend them.
Con’s of Separation
Lack of communication
For those that agreed on the separation before the divorce and are still hoping that the marriage will not fall apart – communication is the biggest problem. When one of the spouses move, it’s practically impossible to discuss an important matter regarding the marriage.
The separation will be the most difficult for couples that have children. It’s nearly impossible to explain to kids why the separation must be done. Aside from that, the mental development of the children with separated parents will never be the same as those with both parents present.
Children deserve two parents raising them in a happy marriage, but if that’s impossible then separation is a way better solution than raising them in an unhealthy marriage.
Possibility of definite divorce
Again for those who would like to keep their marriage. The possibility of divorce is greater when separated. Both partners will engage in meeting new people and won’t try to hold themselves back for being intimate with them.
Living together drops the rate of this possibility with a great percent.
Yes, it’s the same subtitle like in the pros, but from a different perspective. Separating means spending money for moving, for lawyers, probably rent, and etc. This is something that is much easier to handle when you live as a couple, and if the partner’s income is not enough, the separation might be difficult or impossible.
The separation will surely make you financial problems, so be sure that it’s worth it.
Want to have a happier, healthier marriage?
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.