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Confronting the Losses: How to Deal with Separation

How to deal with separation

No one knowingly signs a marriage license expecting to deal with a separation months or years after the blissful exchange of “I do.” But separation does happen. And when it happens, partners are often left feeling adrift, defeated, guilty, and ashamed. It hurts. It is excruciatingly painful to deal with the separation anxiety that accompanies the dissolution of a marriage. Even if the partners constantly battled over one issue or another, the loss of a relationship – even a negative one – can be quite disabling. If the separation in marriage was not enough, the estranged partners must contend with the overwhelming legal and financial obligations that accompany the dissolution.

Take care of yourself

So what are next steps for partners facing the frayed ending of things? How do you deal with separation anxiety? Is there any useful advice on how to deal with separation in a relationship? In a word, absolutely. The first piece of advice we share to those who want to know how to deal with separation is simply “take care of yourself.” If your mind, body, and spirit are in a total space of disarray, then you must take the time to rest, exercise, eat properly, and heal. It is vitally necessary to surround yourself with support too. A counselor, spiritualists, attorney, and trusted friends should be enlisted to “man your corner” as you push through the difficult days.

Think about the next steps

The next component of survival in the aftermath of separation in marriage is to establish a long-term vision for you and your estranged partner. If reconnection is a possibility for you and yours, it may be necessary to place some conditions on the reunification. Perhaps couples counseling is among the chief expectation. If the separation is doomed to disintegrate into a full bodied divorce, it is time to make the necessary preparations for the divorce. Conversation with an attorney may be important at this juncture. An accountant should be engaged in conversation too.

As painful as it all is, you can and will make your way through all the hardship. Trust your instincts, trust your team and move forward with your life.


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