Being in an unhappy marriage is one of the most stressful things a person can go through.
When you are in an unhappy marriage your quality of life goes down, your self-esteem is lowered, your health can also suffer.
When we are in stressful situations our immune system takes a hit
We know that when we are in stressful and unhappy situations our immune system takes a hit and our body begins to break down. Divorce is always an option but divorce is not always the best solution.
Sometimes if you don’t change the things in you that brought you to the divorce it becomes a new person, same situation.
So do you think your current marriage deserves another go?
Begin by remembering what made you fall in love with your partner in the first place.
Try to feel the feelings you felt back then. Remember the things you used to do together and all the hopes and dreams you had for your life together.
Ask yourself, have you done these things? Did you start to do them and then you stopped? Have you done them and now you need to find new dreams and goals to go after as a couple?
Sit down with your partner and talk about all these things.
Remember to be open, honest and vulnerable
Slow down a bit and get to know each other again.
Go out on dates, plan a romantic getaway. Look at your partner with your love lens. See all the good qualities in them and wake up every morning and ask yourself what you can do to make them happy and to feel appreciated. In return ask your partner to do the same for you.
Make a list together of goals or a bucket list you would like to plan
You can also sit down and make a list together of goals or a bucket list you would like to plan and things you would like to change in the relationship for the better.
If both partners can let their walls down, again be vulnerable, and both partners are willing to put the work in these things, it can make your marriage better than ever.
Use I statements
While you are working on these things remember to communicate to your partner your thoughts and feelings. Use I statements instead of you statements. If you still are not clear on how to go forward or there are still many bumps in the road please seek out a couple’s therapist.
Any relationship that is worth getting into is worth trying to stay in.
Want to have a happier, healthier marriage?
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
More by Kirsten Louise Cantley