Are you the type of person that has to have the last word? Perhaps you enjoy arguing for the sake of being right? Do you find it hard saying the words: I’m sorry? If even thinking of saying it makes you queasy, then we’ve got some tools that you can immediately implement to improve your relationships, no matter what side of the argument you may find yourself on.
Forgiveness is a prime ingredient for recalibrating our most intimate relationships, and it’s a quality, that, if mastered, could save your marriage. In fact, forgiveness is necessary for the health and resilience of our closest relationships. Here’s why. The fact that we are all subject to human error compels us to forgive in our relationships, and the great news is, it’s for our benefit.
In order to master the art of forgiveness, consider the following practical tools that can make it easier, and take the guesswork out of reconciliation.
1. Master empathy
Empathy is the ability to be able to put yourself in the other person’s shoes. It is the capacity to reflect what they are going through in feeling or understanding. It is the key to overcoming resentment, misunderstanding, and bitterness, because the capability to relate, gives a broader perspective, begs compassion, and has the magic to disarm even the most fervent of temperaments.
2 Recalibrate the relationship
For example, a relationship that starts where one partner constantly feels attacked, and the other simply feels like he’s giving advice may need adjustment from both sides so that there is more harmony in that area of communication.
3.Incrementally utilize positive experiences to nudge out the bad
In marriage, you want to focus on building positive experiences, which become a kind of bank or equity of happy memories for the relationship. The more positive events a couple can reflect on; it makes the bad events seem smaller. With time and positive reinforcement, a once seemingly catastrophic event will seem like a small blip on the spectrum of your love story.
4. Reflect on the bitterness that you may be harboring
It could be a nasty experience that may have caused you to overreact, and inhibit your ability to heal in the present. Perhaps you were bullied as a child. This may make you perceive a harmless comment from a spouse to be hypercritical and defensive.
5. Release others from the responsibility to make it right
Forgiveness is not about the other person apologizing. It is not about excusing the offense. It is not dependent on another person’s actions, but solely dependent on you. The power of forgiveness allows us to enter and maintain relationships without the ugly baggage that comes with the agents of unforgiveness: resentment and bitterness. It frees us from anger and strife. These are all fear-based emotions.
In our relationships, we must fashion our actions after emotions based on love, kindness, compassion, and most importantly forgiveness. It will give you an inner peace that surpasses understanding.
Want to have a happier, healthier marriage?
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
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