Desperate to give my marriage one last chance, I cried out to God for help. I particularly needed to know my role as wife, which was a point of contention in my marriage.
Embarking on a quest for truth, I searched for relevant scriptures, pondered on them and measured my ways against the truth. To my dismay, I was astonished to discover that I was selfish and self-centered and had a skewed view of my role. I had always believed otherwise. It became obvious that I needed to align my ways with the scriptures, if I wanted to see any change in my marriage. I therefore chose to lay down my life and practice the biblical truths of forgiveness and love, which I will discuss below.
Here is how to save your marriage with Biblical wisdom-
Forgiveness and love
The attitude and words of Jesus, ‘Father, forgive them for they know not what they do,’ (Luke 23.24 KJV), encouraged me to learn to forgive, which was vital to my role as wife. An examination of the scriptures (Luke 6.28 NKJV; Matthew 6.14-15; 18.35), taught me basic principles of forgiveness – forgive from my heart, bless those that curse me; pray for those who spitefully use me and persecute me; do good to those who hate me.
Coupled with the idiom, ‘offence is taken, not given’, and the scripture ‘love pays no attention to a suffered wrong’ (1 Corinthians 13), I CHOSE to walk daily in forgiveness in my marriage by not paying attention to any offense, but instead forgiving, blessing and praying for my husband. My strategy worked wonders, forgiveness in marriage saved my relationship. In choosing to apply biblical wisdom to my failing marriage, I was able to change tense situations by not retaliating but walking in forgiveness and love.
Trying to love as if my ‘life depended on it’ (1 Peter 4.8 (MSG), I stirred up love (Hebrews 10.24) by laying down my feelings and my expectations, (John 15.13, ISV) and consistently exhorted, praised and respected my husband. I went from criticizing him to believing in him and became his cheerleader, despite his faults and weaknesses. That made a world of difference to our marriage. He became the strong, loving, caring man that I knew him to be and I learned how to be a godly wife. I won my husband through my conduct, rather than words (1 Peter 3).