What Do Men Really Need and Why Can’t They Tell You?

What Do Men Really Need

You’ve heard of John Gray’s book “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus”; this talks about how each gender processes and communicates information and emotions to one another. This philosophy implies that because you’re different genders, you can’t possibly understand your partner’s needs, nor can they understand yours.

Breaking stereotypes

There are many gender stereotypes being broken and gender roles being rewritten every day. After generations of single-parent homes (children raised by single mothers, for the most part), these past few generations of young men and women and those with gender differences have come to be of the age where they’re partnering up and falling in love. What they’re hoping for and what they’re looking for in a mate and a life partner may differ significantly from what their grandparents and parents were expecting for them.

Get in touch with your man’s needs

If you’re in a relationship with a man you may still think he’s from Mars, but he has some familiarity with touring Venus and has probably immersed himself in her culture. Men who were raised by strong female role models are generally less stereotypically masculine than their fathers and grandfathers were. They need to be nurtured and cared for, listened to and encouraged just as much as any female does. He may not communicate it properly, but if you’re paying attention, you’ll be able to identify what your man needs and be able to provide it for him.

The big secret is out!

Your strong handsome man needs all of the same things you do! We all have attachment needs. Those things that make us feel loved and important. When you’re in a love relationship, you help meet those needs for your partner. Learning how to communicate those needs is not always easy, but love opens the door for that.

We all need to feel safe, cared for, appreciated, wanted and desired. Men sometimes need to be spoiled and pampered, just like women do but they’ll not necessarily do it for themselves. That’s where a caring partner comes in.

Have an authentic relationship with each other

Do some things without asking, but don’t be afraid to ask him how he feels or what he needs from you. This is at the core of having an authentic relationship with each other.  Be open to hearing what he has to say and be prepared to give him what he needs. That’s what a good partner does. There are myriad of ways to show love and care. Find out what your partner responds best to, and do those things for him.

Be huddled up in a close, emotional space together

Love and nurture your man and learn how he communicates his needs to you. This puts you in a vulnerable and emotional space together where you can grow into an amazing partnership and have a lifetime of loving and care between you.

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Stuart Fensterheim
Social Worker, LCSW
Stuart Fensterheim, LCSW helps couples to overcome the disconnection in their relationships As an author, blogger and podcaster, Stuart has helped couples around the world to experience a unique relationship in which they can feel special and important, confident in knowing they are loved deeply and that their presence matters.

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