“All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way” – said Leo Tolstoy. Same goes for marriage. All happy marriages somehow look alike, but if you are a part of an unhappy marriage, then only you know the difficulties you have to face each day.
A marriage might become unhappy in time. If a marriage is not cherished and taken good care of, it can turn into an unhappy place for one or both partners.
A marriage is supposed to be the getaway for getting rid of outside problems. Spouses should feel relaxed and happy. However, married people often do things which they don’t realize are wrong, and that will later make their marriage unhappy.
Here’s what you should be careful of:
A great problem for many marriages is the family problem. In many countries of the world, it is normal for the married couple to live in the same house with one of the spouse’s parents. The lack of individuality and privacy for the young lovebirds can become a great problem.
Even if there is no such problem and the couple lives by themselves, the influence of the family can be disastrous for the marriage.
Changing the partner
All people want others to think and behave like them. When married, spouses expect the other person to change and become what they think is best. What they don’t know is that people rarely change, and even more rarely meet their expectations.
For a good, healthy and happy marriage, both partners should respect the other in the way they are. All people are different and no one should expect someone to change just to make the other person happier.
A marriage is much more than two people living together in a union. Both partners silently or arguably agree to fulfill some obligations for better functioning of that union.
Marriage is a flexible thing and commitments are not exclusively given to one of the partners.
When one partner needs to do all work without the chance to even ask for help, it is a recipe for a marriage that will soon become unhappy.
Sex in the relationship has stages. First, the partners are insatiable and can’t get enough of each other. Then the comfort stage comes, and then you have to find alternative ways to fight the boredom.
When sex in marriage experiences the last stage, and if the partners don’t put some effort in spicing up their sex life, it can lead them to some very boring sex and probably losing desire for sex with their own married partner.
The risk of ignoring this is that at least one of the partners might start looking for someone else outside the marriage to fulfill their needs. Infidelity will definitely make the marriage unhappy.
Communication is the basis of all relationships. It is important for both partners to listen to the other. Ignoring, in general, is wrong and is a key to an unhappy marriage.
Happy couples know how to listen to each other, sometimes argue and best resolve all issues, but never ignore.
Want to have a happier, healthier marriage?
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.