The Power of Change in Relationships

The power of change in relationship

As a Catholic, I recently celebrated Easter. At the church I attend, the priest began speaking about the attributes that make Catholics who they are. He described how we do not turn our backs on others during times of turmoil. We face challenges head on and provide hope, empathy, and comfort to those experiencing misfortune. Most importantly, we also believe in change and the power of transformation.


Although he was summarizing the people of the Catholic faith, I could not help but relate what he was saying to therapists. As a couple’s therapist, I must help spouses through their most difficult times. I am taken to their darkest of places and help them come out on the other side. We assist them in transforming into a stronger couple.


The priest also told an interesting tale about a Native American grandfather and his young granddaughter. One day, the girl decided to accompany her grandfather off the reservation to go the bank. The granddaughter had never been to the city before and was very impressed with the fancy buildings and marble bank. The grandfather left the little girl on a bench to wait for him as he attended his meeting. As she sat, she observed three doors. A very old man entered one door, and a few minutes later, out came a fit, young man. She was amazed at how quickly the old man had turned young again. Then a homely looking man entered one of the doors. Seconds later, a beautifully striking woman exited. The girl was absolutely astonished at the power of these doors. Even though these doors turned out to be elevators, she had believed in the power of change.


Therapists are exactly like human elevators. People enter into our offices frustrated, scared, hurt, and lonely. We offer them hope, empathy, and solutions to their most difficult problems. We show them that transformation is possible and that they can heal.


No matter what religious beliefs you practice, I hope that you can believe in the power of change and transformation.

Mary Kay Cocharo, LMFT, "The Couples Therapist", has been working with couples and families for over 25 years through her private practice in West Los Angeles, California. Her work focuses on helping couples rediscover the joy of being together, deepen communication and resolve conflict.

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