Second Marriage Advice: Distinguishing Between Success and Failure

Second Marriage Advice

A second marriage is a wonderful opportunity to make a fresh start in your life. This time you have the knowledge, experience, and wisdom to undertake a commitment that you didn’t have the first time around.  So it makes sense to harness this knowledge and experience so that you can make your second marriage the one that lasts a lifetime.

Here is some of the best second marriage advice that you’ll find. All of which will help you make your second marriage robust, happy and healthy.

Assess your first marriage

Figure out your mistakes and weaknesses that you made in your first marriage, and don’t repeat them in your second marriage.

You’ll improve your chances of a successful second marriage if you know where you went wrong in the past.

Get to know your new spouse

Commit to learning how to get to know your spouse on a deep level. This means discussing things with your spouse even if you’re ashamed, scared or embarrassed.

If you want to make your second marriage last, you have to be honest, and in being honest, you’ll create an environment where honesty and real intimacy is rife!

Be vulnerable

Share yourself in your second marriage; this is tough second marriage advice because being open, honest and vulnerable about all of you can be extremely difficult.

But if you can do this, you’ll reap the rewards in your second marriage beyond your wildest dreams.  So dive in, be brave and show yourself.

Get counseling

The best time to get counseling is before you have problems. This way you build up a relationship with your counselor who in turn can start to understand you and your spouse and the dynamics of your marriage.

Which means that when or if you hit the rocks, or have something that is difficult to address, you have an objective counselor who ‘gets you’ on hand and ready to help you navigate through.  

The thing is, we don’t know everything, we don’t know the best thing to do for all situations in our life including marriage, but a marital counselor has incredible knowledge and experience in dealing with the same problems that you might experience on a regular basis.  

So really embracing counseling is taking the path of least resistance it’s a fast way to secure your marriage and keep everything happy.  If people realized this everybody would be doing it!

Get counseling

Clear the residual energy from your first marriage

Don’t start your new marriage in the same household or neighborhood that you ended your last marriage in.  Don’t let the energy and ghosts of your past enter into your new marriage. Even if you are happy to stay where you are your partner might not be.

Even if you think you are happy it doesn’t mean that the energy of the last marriage won’t leak into your relationship somehow. 

Protect your marriage at all costs and give it the best start, starting with new beginnings in a new home.  

Switch up the status quo

Make an effort to really connect with your spouse and set your life up to support these efforts by setting up new routines and habits that create the life you desire.  

Why not consider discussing this with your spouse and creating a plan together – the exercise will encourage you to share, connect, enhance your communication and take control of your life and future together.

Check your relating style

Changing the way that you relate, will bring in a whole new dynamic to your second marriage – in fact, this is second marriage advice that will serve you well in all relationships, not just romantic ones.  

Be flexible, open to change, compromise, apologize and making adjustments continuously in your marriage so that you can both accommodate each other and move with the times.   

As you do this, you’ll discover new, fun and rewarding ways to relate that you may not have considered before.  

Handle the financial obligations considerately

Many remarriages are complicated because there will be additional financial commitments such as child support payments, alimony, etc.

If financial issues could prevent you from achieving your relationship goals, discuss this with your future spouse and seek divorce advice together.  

Then spend time planning your finances together making sure that you are both clear what you are committing to.

Becoming frustrated with them at a later date, or saying things such as ‘ we could do x if we didn’t have to pay your child support or alimony’ will just cause problems and could damage trust and drive a wedge between you.  

Instead, own it as your own, as something that you cannot change and that you agreed to before you married and planned your life accordingly.

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