Have you ever heard the phrase, “Marriage is hard work”? Probably just a cautionary phrase you thought, passed down by unhappy couples.Most people approach marriage optimistically. No one marries with the intentions of divorcing. But, love isn’t the cure for all the problems in a marriage. Cultivating, maintaining and sustaining a relationship takes work from both parties and interestingly enough, education and skill.
There are many areas in which people strive to achieve more and do better. People do this by participating in workshops, attending seminars, taking online courses, or going to trainings to advance their skills and make more money.In their personal lives they might hire a personal trainer or coach to get fit and lose weight. One area most people aren’t usually investing in is their relationships. People ensure they set aside enough time in their schedules to get the unimportant, non-urgent things done even though they feel so urgent! You know what I am talking about: chores, scheduling appointments, getting a haircut, baking a cake for the PTA, etc. But… many couples forget to take care of and nurture their relationship, keeping their partnerships and marriages strong.
Why don’t we put this much time and effort into our relationships?
Why don’t we make to-do lists for our relationship or marriage? Why don’t we make our partnerships a priority? Why aren’t we blocking out time in our schedules to connect with our spouse or partner? Furthermore, why aren’t we investing in our relationships as we do with other meaningful things?
I often ask couples if they have ever had any formal training or education on learning how to communicate, what it takes to have a good relationship, or how to be a good partner. The resounding answer is, you guessed it is a “NO”.
Did you know there is a ton of science around relationships? Ya, relationships are based on science! Did you get that class in high school or college? Me neither. Yet we aren’t taught it and when we go seeking the information, education and to learn a new skill things often have to be “pretty bad”. Many of us spend years learning a trade or perfecting our career. We spend our valuable time, hard earned money, and our energy growing and advancing ourselves in every area but our relationships.
Relationships are an art form. They are ever evolving, growing, and changing. It’s important to learn about relationships so you can do better and achieve more in one of the most important areas of your life.
When counselors work with couples some of the things they tackle are:
- Communication and conflict management
- Building and enhancing your fun and friendship
- Repairing past hurts, betrayals, and resentments
- Increasing your emotional and physical connection
- Learning how to live into life’s goals and dreams
- And much more!
Seek help from a qualified professional, one who is trained in working with couples to help you and your beloved navigate and learn about the science of relationships, so you can add more life, enjoyment, energy, and vitality to yours.
Want to have a happier, healthier marriage?
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
More by Katie Lemieux