If you don’t know where you are going, you’ll end up someplace else. ~ Yogi Berra
Growing up, I had a poster in my room which read, “Be the Dream.” I always intuitively knew that one way to manifest your dreams is to begin to visualize it.
In 1978, Shakti Gawain came out with her best known book, Creative Visualization: Use the Power of Your Imagination to Create What You Want in Life. It has been a bestselling book for nearly 40 years. Now, scientists are catching up to what I have always intuitively known, “we are the creators of our own reality.”
Brain interprets mental imagery to performing a real-life action
Brain studies are now revealing what I intuitively understood, that our brain interprets mental imagery as equivalent to performing a real-life action. So, when we visualize our goals unfolding, and feel the feelings, we are creating neural pathways that prime our mind + body to carry out action consistent with what we are imagining, whether it accomplishing perfect relationship goals or professional success.
A study conducted by Dr. Biasiotto at the University of Chicago also found this to be true. He split people into three groups and tested each group on how many free throws they could make. He had the first group practice free throws every day for an hour. The second group just visualized themselves making free throws. The third group did nothing.
After 30 days, he tested them again. The first group improved by 24%. The second group improved by 23% – without even touching a basketball! The third group did not improve, which was expected.
Since I began my practice, I’ve been walking almost all my couples through a couple’s visualization exercise that was created by my teacher, Dr. Harville Hendrick. The exercise is based on this idea that visualization and intention are the two most valuable skills for creating change.
The visualization process helps couples aiming at building a perfect relationship, identify and work towards their goals and experience their desired reality. It helps them reach what can be a close definition of a perfect relationship.
Putting it into practice
Think of the following categories: being together, love and intimacy, spirituality, work, finances, communication, friends or family, and health.
- Imagine something you would like to create in your relationship from one of these categories. For example, “We spend time away from each other at least 6 times a year.”
- Practice creating and expanding the vision. Each of you talk about the vision and share specifics about what it would be like and feel like to manifest that vision.
- Go back and forth with it, feel it and have fun with it.
While this exercise helps you both to prime your mind and body to carry out action conducive to achieving relationship bliss, you may also like to seek inspiration from the perfect relationship quotes. This will also give you answer to a simple question that often crosses a couple’s mind, “what makes a perfect relationship?”.
Want to have a happier, healthier marriage?
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
More by Craig Lambert