There is an age old adage that says if there’s no trust there is no relationship. This is though very general and vague, but it is a true adage.
Trust is one of the very core foundations of any marriage. Without it jealousy, short temperaments, sporadic and unhealthy behaviors begin to manifest and cause immediate deterioration of a marriage. Think of marriage as a piece of pottery; if someone were to continuously keep tapping on the pot with a metal hammer there will be fragments that will fly away until the pot begins to crack and once the crack is deep enough one more hit will cause the pot to disintegrate.
Your relationship is just like that pot and trust is a strengthener to every relationship. Although the root of trust issues can vary from bad financial decisions, infidelity, perceived lies, unfulfilled promises the list goes on, one of the major keys to overcoming trust issues is to learn what your spouse deems as important or relevant. Without this understanding it will be extremely difficult for you to be able to rebuild trust again.
Overcoming trust issues
Ask yourself and answer the following questions to foster a greater understanding in the first steps to overcoming trust issues. What makes your spouse feel secure? What actions can help rebuild the trust? Are there steps that you can take as a couple to rebuild? What can you do to make your spouse feel comfortable? Are there actions that you can take to prevent the breaking of trust again? In my book 21 ways to ignite passion and intimacy into your marriage I discuss various activities that help couples come back together again and refocus on the things that truly matter.
Working to resolve trust issues
Rebuilding trust can only happen when both parties are willing to work past their issues. There also has to be a level of hope that is within your heart to work together with the person that caused the mistrust. Hope allows for the belief that although things are rocky now it can and will get better. Understand that in order for any relationship to function properly it takes work, effort and hope without those things there is no relationship. When the relationship it is treated with loving care and the attention that it deserves, it will flourish and bring a greater realm of happiness.
If the issues that you are dealing with within your marriage are beyond your scope of resolution or your spouse’s scope of resolution I encourage you to seek professional help through a marriage counselor or a marriage coach. No one is fully prepared for the responsibilities in the weight of marriage but with outside help you can enjoy the great benefits of marriage have patience and trust the process knowing that the process though it may be challenging will yield great reward.
Want to have a happier, healthier marriage?
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.