There are times when you meet people who later go in to become a permanent part of your life. You start meeting on a daily basis and somehow life seems unimaginable without them. However, despite the string start you might have taken with them, things don’t always work out as planned and relationships don’t always prove to be what you thought they were.
Whether it is the friend you are extremely close to or a love interest, chances are that you’ve had a few arguments over the course of time. And when you truly value your relationship, it is best that you do everything in your capacity to mend it and make things right.
How to mend a damaged relationship?
It is important to keep in mind that you may not be at fault in the situation and just because you haven’t done anything wrong does not mean that you should not work towards making amends.
Here’s a list of do’s and don’ts that can come in handy if you are trying to resolve issues with a loved one:
1. Don’t let your ego come in between the two of you
Always remember, your ego will not let you think in a way that is best for your relationship. Many times, you need to be the bigger person and compromise for the sake of your relationship.
In such a case, if you let your ego interfere, you will not be able to do what’s needed for that particular moment in time.
Compromise is often difficult, especially when you know you are not at fault, but, a little compromise may help in making things better.
2. Do something special
Plan a small dinner date with your friend or partner. Go out of your way to show them how much they mean to you. Tell them that for you, your relationship with them matters more than any argument that you two might have had.
3. Don’t criticize
Make sure that whenever you talk to them on any matter, you don’t use a tone that oozes sarcasm. There is nothing worse than talking in a tone that makes your partner or friend feel as if you are criticizing them. Such criticism will do nothing to improve your situation.
4. Don’t bring up issues from the past
If you decide to sit down and have a chat about what is it that’s not right, do NOT bring up issues from the past to be quoted as examples. You will be tempted to say how you didn’t like a lot of things previously or how you are still secretly upset that they didn’t wish at the stroke of midnight.
But, saying all these things will only make you feel better temporarily and instead of doing you any good, they’ll leave you and your special friend with a sense of regret over all that you said out of anger.
5. Do some thinking, alone!
If you think that you and your friend are arguing over the slightest of issues which may not really be issues at all, then there is not harm in spending some time away from each other just to clear your heads.
Go out for a walk and think over how you’ve been getting upset over reasons that could easily be discussed.
6. Don’t blame yourself for everything that goes wrong
While it is okay to accept your faults, it is also not fine for your friend or partner to start making you feel as if you are ALWAYS to be blamed. People tend to overthink about situations and it is usually in such times that they start blaming themselves for things they haven’t even done. Your fights are not always because of you. And if you feel that your loved one is getting habitual of your compromises, then make it clear to them (politely) that you know how to take a stand for yourself and that you should not be taken lightly.