Since everyone is different, there are no blueprints that will work for every marriage. This is why it is up to every couple to make their own rules. The problem is that most people try to use another couple’s guidelines for their own relationship, and it ends up being disastrous. As with anything in life, what works for someone else might not work for you. If you want to get started on creating your own marriage rules, here are a few tips to help you and your partner along.
When it comes to showing affection and sex, you and your partner need to be on the same page. In order for this to happen, there has to be a discussion about what each person wants and desires. Everything from how often there should be sex to kissing in public should be brought to the table. Talking about it now will save both of you a lot of confusion and disagreements down the line. If you two aren’t agreeable, there are a number of ways to compromise so that both parties get what they want.
You and your partner need to have a conversation on where each person sees the relationship going. This might be a difficult topic to bring up, but it is very necessary. It is important to know if you want to get married and have kids someday down the line, and the other person doesn’t. In the long run, it will save both parties a lot of heartache and disappointment. On the other hand, people wants and desires can change, so it is important to talk about where the relationship is heading from time to time.
It is important that each person knows how the other one expresses themselves, whether it is sadness, disappointment, or grief. This might seem like a topic that you wouldn’t deem important, but you and your partner will avoid a lot of unnecessary arguing. Since every relationship has good and bad times, you need to know how the other person like to resolve any issues.
If you are making decisions in your relationship that are based on what others say or do, you should be cautious. Regardless if it is family, friends, or society, this is a bad habit that will cause damage to your relationship. What you and your partner say or do should be based on what feels good and works for the both of you, not anyone else.
When creating your marriage rules, the two of you need to talk about what each person needs and expects. What you come up with should be what will work for just the both of you now and in the future. If you need some help in getting started, Philadelphia MFT therapists are available.