Maintenance Plan: Does your Relationship have One?

Maintenance Plan: Does your Relationship have One?

Anyone that has ever been in a relationship knows how much work it can take to maintain a happy and healthy relationship. Despite the work involved, many people take joy and pride in doing this work. It’s a lot easier to maintain something that’s going well than to repair the damage of something broken. Think about it in terms of a vehicle you own. Isn’t it easier to perform your regular maintenance such as your oil change, fluid check, and tire rotation? When you don’t maintain your vehicle, and keep up with the maintenance requirements of the car, you run into the potential of having costly repairs. Regular preventive maintenance is the best thing you can do to keep your marriage intact to avoid major repairs in the future.

Every couple’s preventive maintenance may not look the same

As a couple, you decide what the relationship needs and when it needs it. Here are 3 quick things you can start with right away to begin a maintenance plan for your relationship.

  • Do regular “check ins”


Periodically ask your partner if there is anything you do to be a better partner or improve in any way. If there’s something you can do better or differently, wouldn’t you want to know? Ask your partner from time to time how they feel things are going and what they would like to see improved.  Couples often fall into complacency and routines which isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It does become a concern however, when routines result in one or both partners feeling bored, unexcited or having unmet needs. You can’t improve what you don’t know, so ask. Don’t be afraid to have those uncomfortable conversations. Believe me, the more you have them, the less awkward it feels.  

  • Nurture the relationship


Engage in meaningful conversation and activities that nurture the growth and development of the relationship. This includes making space for quality time, going on fun outings, sharing life lessons with each other as well as goals and dreams that resonate with the both of you. Anything that promotes a deep and loving partnership will help to nurture the relationship.

  • Laugh together


Fulfilling the responsibilities of life is serious business and can also be dreadfully stressful. It’s necessary for you to bring laughter and joy to your relationship. Take time to share a good joke or watch a funny movie together. Laughter reduces stress levels and increases the level of health enhancing hormones like endorphins. Laughter also brings focus away from your problems, even if those problems stem from the relationship itself. It’s not healthy to spend all your free time focusing on the relationship’s problems or any problem for that matter. Laughter helps to keep you connected to your partner. We all need some distraction from the rigors of daily life from time to time. Find something funny to share with your partner today!

Vehicle manufacturers have created maintenance schedules and intervals that are specific to each vehicle. Your relationship should also have a maintenance plan that’s specific to your unique relationship. Regular maintenance is vital to keep your relationship going strong.

Kerri Anne Brown
Counselor, LMHC
Kerri-Anne Brown is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor and Certified Addictions Professional specializing in individuals, couples and family therapy. Her experience in working with individuals who have experienced trauma, abandonment, grief/loss, depression and anxiety began in a group home working with adolescent females in South Florida. Her passion for helping others heal from the challenges they faced in their lives only grew from there. She extended her work with adolescents to include working with the families as well to improve the treatment outcomes for her clients. Her desire is simply to help clients navigate through the challenges of life.

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