We have all heard that the greatest gift you can give yourself is the gift of self-love. It is indeed important to love yourself before you expect someone else to love you.
I know from my own experience and working with clients in the clinic over the past 21+ years, that the amount you can truly love and open your heart to others is dependent on the amount you love and open your heart to yourself.
Your relationship with yourself
Look around. Most of us are trained to seek love from others. We repeatedly work to get others to love us. We tolerate the intolerable from others.
We diminish our self-esteem and give up our power, waiting for others to love and accept us.
We let our outer accomplishments, ability to make others love us or even our level of success determine our feelings of self-love.
Ultimately, that doesn’t work.
How to actually love yourself
Self-love or self- relationship develops when we own and embrace all the different parts of ourselves. It is an inside job.
As you start developing a mature relationship with yourself and accessing the full spectrum of who you indeed are only then you can live with authentic aliveness and be your fullest.
As we do this work, sometimes we have to let go of people who drain us or diminish us.
You don’t have to be dramatic, divisive, or angry while letting a person go. Difficult as it may sound, it can be an act of love. It can be done while acknowledging the role they have played and the lessons you’ve learned as a result of their presence in your life.
It is best to bless them and let them go to have a fulfilling relationship with self.
You don’t need to stop loving a person if you are allowing yourself to let go of them. You can let them go while loving them. The difference is just that you are ready to love yourself more!
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Georgina Cannon, author, public speaker, counsellor, regression therapist and coach has her doctorate in Metaphysical Counselling and is a lecturer at the University of Toronto. She sees clients in her Toronto clinic and has just had her fourth book published The Third Circle Protocol by Findhorn Publishing. Available in major bookstores and Amazon.com