Before you look outside for the SOLUTIONS to have the marriage of your dreams,
you must, first, look at what’s really getting in the way of accomplishing your relationship goals.
This could be – YOUR MINDSET!
What is MINDSET?
It’s your attitude, intention, thoughts, assumptions, beliefs, perceptions, and disposition. Think about it, what really gets in your way for not being in great shape, not starting a new business, or not taking consistent action for any other major life goal?
It’s NOT time or money!
It’s not that you don’t know where the gym is or how to get the training you need to have the career you want. It’s not that you don’t know how to be kind and talk nicely to your spouse… It’s those limiting beliefs, like “I don’t have enough energy”, “I will just fail anyways”, or “I am not that important”.
Importance of reactions
Your reactions to your partner have a huge influence to the health and happiness of your relationship. Research shows that successful relationships are created and maintained by individual efforts and not by “teamwork”. You must START cultivating a powerful, clear, and intentional mindset every day to be successful in your marriage and in life.
Change your mindset
To change your relationship, you have to change yourself. Your relationship is like a mirror which is constantly reflecting your mindset back to you. Whatever you love, whatever you hate, whatever you’re terrified of – it will all show up in your marriage.
You are a million times more important and powerful than what you think. You can read any great strategy for effective communication, but if your own mindset is not where it needs to be, the issues just keep coming back.
You MUST take a break from talking about the “problems” in your marriage over and over in the same way, which is just causing more distance and damage. Take a breath, a step back, get clear on what you WANT and where you want to GO.
Focus on what you can control… your own mindset, actions, and intentions. Replace old beliefs with new ones, like “I am totally worthy of love”, “Being vulnerable is the way to experience more joy and connection”, or “I want to be an excellent listener”.
Treat it like you are in training for a marathon. Condition new beliefs within yourself before trying to “solve” the problems with your partner.
Until you have the new beliefs listed down, you will both be triggered by each other and never get out of this constant damaging cycle where neither of you feels heard, appreciated, or important to each other.
Once you master your own mindset, you will be able to love each other freely. You can build on successes in your relationship. You will experience all the attention, connection, and joy that you want in your marriage.
Your behavior has an enormous influence on your partner. If you transform yourself, your attitude and the way you communicate, your partner WILL be incapable of resisting this new connection and peace.
A happy, fulfilling relationship begins with you!