Watching a relationship in which you’ve invested time, emotions, and energy come to an end is heart wrenching. At times, you think it is necessary to let the relationship go. Letting go of the person with whom you shared your tender, most intimate moments will not be seamless. At times people recognize their values are not aligned with their partners, and lines have been crossed in the relationship. This is when ending a relationship becomes inevitable.
Though ending a relationship cannot be seamless, it can be done in a dignified manner. Clear your mind. Take time to think if what has taken place in the relationship is cause to end the marriage.
Here are 7 major questions that you must ask yourself when you are considering ending your relationship-
Questions to ask yourself:
- Am I aligned with my values?
- Is the incident that caused the break-up a deal breaker? Or, is there still work to do?
- Is the break-up a mutual decision?
- What does self-care look like post the relationship?
- Who will be involved in supporting me and my partner emotionally once we’ve finalized all business and ended the relationship?
- Who will be affected by our break-up?
- Where does my help come from in times of turmoil?
These questions will help you understand if you really want to go through with the break-up. You will consider self-care, and how the loss will be managed post the break-up.
Now, if you have really made up your mind to put an end to your relationship, you can follow these tips during your break-up.
- Stay true to your beliefs and values
- Do not be hasty; carefully consider if you have exhausted all efforts to repair the relationship
- Do not be reactive
- Do not mimic your soon-to-be-ex by dating because they do, name calling because they do, making hefty purchases because they do or indulge in risky activities because they do
- Take on a new therapeutic healthy hobby during this stressful time
- Slow down not to forget things and focus
- Deep breathe. Pay attention to your breathing throughout the day
These tips will help you end your relationship in a dignified way. It may prevent you from making mistakes that you might regret later. It will also minimize the disdain and the hurt from the break-up.
Well wishes as you come to the end of your relationship. Self-care is important while transitioning and going through changes from the loss of relationship. Clean exit the relationship so you part with grace, and dignity.
Want to have a happier, healthier marriage?
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
More by Janelle Johnson