When we choose to intertwine our lives with someone else forever, we also choose to acknowledge the fact that sooner or later arguments will start to spark, which can be more or less aggressive in their manner.
Every couple goes througharguments, and that’s normal, because human beings interact and none of us are perfect, but if we learn how to argue with our spouses, we can make our marriages better with them and also get to know them even better than we thought we did.
Communication plays a key role in any marriage
If we learn how to use it effectively in our arguments, we can also learn to engage our partners in more healthy and practical ways. When the problem arises, try to first find a solution before you present it. By detailing our issues in a kind and calm manner, we automatically point out the fact that we want to resolve the issue with the utmost love and care, without making too much of a fuss out of it.
So, how to avoid conflicts successfully? Here are few tips to follow.
1. Be fair with your spouse
When you get entangled in anargument with your partner, try to assess the situation in the best possible way that you can.
Be honest and true to yourself. If you know that you are wrong, acknowledge it and apologize to your partner. Improve your manner of agreeing and disagreeing, use rhetoric in your speech. You can see conflicts as a healthy way to manage your marriage, if you know how to handle them.
If you want to be good at mending arguments you have to learn how to listen. Maybe your spouse has a strong point of view and he or she is right.
As we’ve stated earlier, apologizing when you have to, you can take your argument managing strategy a long way.
There’s nothing wrong in saying “I’m sorry.” Prideful stances and laying out defensive barriers to counteract your husband or wife can lead to even more heated arguments and conflicts, which do nothing else than to widen the crack into an even larger gap.
3. Plan your talks
Sometimes our spouses (and ourselves) start arguments that seem to reach no conclusion whatsoever because we aren’t in the mood of reaching one.
If you feel that your partner is too irritated to reason with, take a break and plan to discuss about the issue at a later time when everyone is calmer. By doing this, you’ll have a better chance to resolve the argument in a constructive and engaging manner that will eventually come from both sides.
And this is, obviously the best way to avoid conflicts successfully in marriages.
4. Never lose your sense of humor
The key to a long marriage is to never lose your sense of humor.
This is what most couples would agree, and they couldn’t be more right than this. When you’re arguing over something find some sparkle of humor in it and exploit it. There’s a big chance that you’ll soon end the argument and also get out of it with a smile shining on both of your lips.
Also watch: What Is a Relationship Conflict?
5. Get help
If you see that there’s no chance to reason with your married partner, then you have to consider that the time has come for you to choose a marriage counsellor and seek out his help.
Having a seasoned marital counsellor to help with your relationship should be your last resort, but if you consider that you actually have to hire one, then do it and put back on track your relationship with your spouse.
Know your partners better to have a better life together
It’s normal to sometimes get into arguments, and to even have occasional intense debates with our partners, but we should never let them cross the admitted threshold.
We can learn to have fruitful and engaging arguments with our partners if we learn to debate, acknowledge the situation righteously, and have patience with them. We can get to know our partners better and have better and enriched lives together with them by learning how to cope with each other’s issues.
But, if we only focus on the negative side of things and only accuse and blame, this will only prove to cause more havoc in the relationship than is needed. And, this is no way to avoid conflicts successfully in marriages.
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
Sylvia Smith loves to share insights on how couples can revitalize their love lives in and out of the bedroom. As a writer at Marriage.com, she is a big believer in living consciously and encourages couples to adopt this principle in their lives too. Sylvia believes that every couple can transform their relationship into a happier, healthier one by taking purposeful and wholehearted action.